Donald Trump has a plan to make Mexico pay for the wall.

The Washington Post published the plan itself because they didn’t think you’d believe it if they just told you about it.

I’m kinda in the same fix.

Plus, my biggest complaint about the wall is that if Trump is President, I think the wall is meant to keep us in instead of keeping them out.

Trump estimates the wall will cost between $5 – $10 billion.  I kinda suspect that’s only gonna hold if you use undocumented workers who will work that cheaply.  See the problem here?

Most experts say the wall will cost $80 – $90 billion plus upkeep. That’s a whole mess of cement.  Hell, Texas doesn’t have enough water for all that cement.

So, if Mexico doesn’t pay up …

On Day One – Trump will stop all wire transfers to Mexico.  Most undocumented workers send their paychecks back home with wire transfers so Trump wants to put Western Union out of business and let Grandma back home starve.

On Day Two – Mexico is going to protest.  Trump says he doesn’t give a hootin’ coyote about that.  This is known as the Day of Wailing and Gnashing of Teeth.  Screw it.

On Day Three – Tell Mexico that if they don’t give us the money, we will start a trade war, cancel visas which will keep Mexican businessmen from doing business in the United States, and then raise visa fees to pay for the wall.  How you can cancel visas and then raise the fees on them, I dunno.  I think it’s some sort of magic trick that involves tinkering with your brain.

There’s his plan.

That’s not a plan – that’s typing.

Mexico is not going to pay for the wall.  You gonna bomb them or maybe sacrifice a taco and a piñata every day until they pay?

… find Donald Trump’s sidewalk star in Hollywood.

Trump’s Hollywood Star has become a real tourist trap.  Everybody want to write on it, pee on it, or poop.

Thanks to everybody for the heads up.

Take a deep breath first …. okay, now read.

“As long as you come here legally and get a proper job . . . we need immigrants. Who’s going to vacuum our living rooms and clean up after us? Americans don’t like to do that.”

Ivana Trump
Donald’s New Political Advisor

The Republicans controlling Texas government have spent about the same as landing on Boardwalk with five hotels to keep Texas bizarrely districted to give Republicans more control.

The GOP argued that “one-man, one-vote,” meant that we count registered voters only.  Of course that’s not what it means and it’s taken millions of taxpayer dollars and years of battling to get a damn unanimous decision from the Supremes.

Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg wrote the opinion. “History, our decisions, and settled practice in all 50 States and countless local jurisdictions point in the same direction: Total-population apportionment meets the Equal Protection demand, by rendering each representative alert to the interest and constituent-service requests of all who dwell in the representative’s district,” she wrote.

When was the last time you saw a unanimous decision from this court?  Thank God they didn’t let Scalia vote from the grave.

Progressives are doing a happy dance.

Those of you who have been around here for a while know that the only thing I like better than politics is baseball.

Women love baseball.  You’ve got to be pretty smart to understand baseball and there’s not much gratuitous violence in baseball.

I am also an Astros fan.  I woke up this morning and put on my Astros shirt because today is opening day and we’re playing the Yankees.

Do you want to know why the BASEBALL game was postponed?  Snow.  Yep, the Boys of Summer got snowed out.

In Houston today at game time it’s 76 degrees, sunny, with 41% humidity.  Because we are an enlightened people, we have a retractable roof to keep out the damn snow.

Get with the program, fellas.

Peg Littleton is running for United States senator from Colorado.

She’s a real pretty little thing but I think she’s overdosed on Jesus.

Peg does not believe that Fracking causes earthquakes. You wanna know why?

There have been earthquakes long before we ever did fracking. Let’s be honest. You know God is kind of in control of those. And not by us drilling down in the ground and doing the fracking.

And only God can cause forest fires. No, wait.

So you have to wonder, why does God cause earthquakes? He is punishing bad people who live in earthquake zones? Does he do it for fun? If God’s in charge, why do we even have earthquakes? Is God just mean? Damn, Peg, I’m getting a headache.

Ya gotta admire Peg’s grasp of geology and the scientific principle.  It’s a solid 4 on the Sarah Palin Scale.