In case you forgot to mark your calendar, Jade Helm is over today and all I got was this spectacular opportunity to say, “Hey Crazies, Wrong Again.”

You have no idea how hard it was for me not to go put an Obama sign in my neighbor’s yard with “This House Property Of” written at the top.

The only thing that kept me from doing it is that everybody says that old man is fixing to die and you’re gonna get blamed for it.

When Ole Bubba and I got married, we were both poor struggling students. Someone broke into our apartment but couldn’t find a damn thing worth taking.  My suspicion is that Obama faced the same situation in Texas. After 16 years of Republican rule, Texas doesn’t have a damn thing worth taking.

George P Bush, son of a Bush named Jeb, got himself elected Land Commissioner in Texas, a job that pays $137,500.

And he immediately forgot to go to work.  He has been out of state or otherwise off of work nearly half the time since his dad announced for President.  He’s heading up some Youth for Bush things.

While it is not unusual for presidential candidates to take time off to travel the country, it is rarer for surrogates to do so – especially when they are in their first year in elected office and attempting to overhaul an agency that oversees 13 million acres of state public land and the sale of mineral rights to generate billions of dollars for schools.

Well, so he has two jobs (1) Texas Land Commissioner, and (2) getting his dad elected President. In the Bush family tradition, the boy’s failing at both.

Thanks to Craig for the heads up.

Oh Rick, it’s so nice to have you home where nothing is your own damn fault.

AUSTIN – Former Gov. Rick Perry is blaming his early exit from the GOP presidential campaign in large part on the felony charges that continue to hang over him from his attempts to get the Travis County district attorney to resign.

Speaking to Fox News on Monday, Perry said he knew going into his White House bid that he needed to take care of the indictment, which he described as the result of Rosemary Lehmberg – that “drunk DA” – using her office for “political purposes.”

“It had a real corrosive effect on our ability to raise money,” he said.

No, being stoopid is what kept you from raising money.  It is not the Travis County DA’s fault that you can’t walk and chew gum at the same time.

But, here’s the other side of that coin, Rick.

Your Super PAC is overflowing with money and now they won’t give it back.  There’s $13 million in your Super PAC and the guy who gave you $5 million wants his money back.

The son of one top donor to the PAC, Doug Deason, said his father – tech magnate Darwin Deason — anticipates that contributions will be returned and the committee, dubbed the Opportunity and Freedom PAC, will shutter. But Austin Barbour, a senior member of the PAC’s leadership, said he’s still discussing options with the group’s lawyers.

Yeah, Austin Barbour is Haley’s nephew.  I wouldn’t count on seeing any of that money back.

Thanks to Kyle and Steve for the heads up.

My mind has been boggled.

We fussed at the last sheriff because he took “Call 911” off the patrol cars and added his name in big letters.  His ego was big enough to jump start a nuclear submarine.

But it was diddle squat compared to the new sheriff.

Look what has been installed at the new County Courthouse. Our new sheriff thinks he’s Princess Leia asking Obi Wan for help.

There are two of these life sized monuments to self-importance. Two. One is at the courthouse and the other is at the jail.  I do not have a major problem with the one at the jail other than the fact that it’s $18,768 down the tube. It was paid for from the commissary fund, which is the profit off charging prisoners for personal grooming needs and snacks. That doesn’t seem right.

The one at the courthouse is a whole ‘nother story.  It was paid for from drug forfeiture money. That absolutely is not right.

Here is the presentation prepared to get this crap approved by commissioner’s court.

You know, for the total money spent of $37,500 we could have hired someone at $18.75 an hour to stand there and give up to date information with a personal touch.

Shame on the sheriff and shame on commissioner’s court.  That’s what you get when you have a conservative Republican government: men building monuments to themselves at the expense of others.

They say that politics is show business for ugly people. The sheriff just proved that.

Thanks to LK for the heads up.

If you’re wondering how a 16 year old boy is so damn unlucky with guns, you ain’t the only one.

An Oklahoma 16-year-old boy is in serious condition after he accidentally shot himself in the leg for the second time over the last three months, according to police.

Maybe a padlock on the gun rack would help?

Thanks to Bob for the heads up.

I don’t mean to be tacky, but somebody needs to stay off Pinterest.  (Click it to get the full impact.)

Honey, she’s got loco camped out in her eyeballs.