Cass County, Texas is as far east you can get in Texas without inhaling crawfish boiling smoke.

At 3:00 am the sheriff’s department got a call about a shooting.

An East Texas man was hospitalized early Thursday morning after a bullet he fired at an armadillo ricocheted back at his head, KLTV reported.

No word on the condition of the armadillo.

Thanks to everybody for the heads up.

Okay, so there’s 17 people running for President as Republicans.  Fox news is sponsoring at debate on August 3rd for all seventeen of them, but only the top ten (according to secret mathematics designed by Roger Ailes) will be in the two hour debate at 9:00.  There will also be an hour debate for the bottom seven at 5:00.

So, who will be in the top ten is kinda crazy.

Inside Fox, the debate is generating controversy among Ailes’s senior ranks. “There’s total confusion about all of it. The Second Floor is making it up as they go along,” one Fox personality told me, referring to Ailes’s executive suite.

The biggest questions are:

1.  Will it be Rick Perry or John Kasich who become #10?

2.  Will Lindsey Graham, Carly Fiorina, and George Pataki even break the 1% cutoff to be in the 5:00 kid’s table debate?

3.  Who has to stand next to Donald Trump on center stage?  There appears to be much arguing over that.  Face it, having Trump in the debate is like the Indy 500 with a drunk driver thrown in for fun.

Get your popcorn, kiddos.  This is gonna be fun!

The 28 year old adult daughter of Oklahoma Governor Mary Fallin moved her “nice trailer” to the backyard of the Governor’s mansion and is living in it with her husband.

One of the adult children of Fallin’s husband lives in the Governor’s mansion and another lives in a garage apartment behind the Governor’s mansion.

Fallin told Oklahoma television station KFOR that her 28-year-old daughter received no special benefit by parking the travel trailer outside the mansion near the state Capitol since April. Any electricity or water she would have used in the trailer would have also been used if she had been living inside the brick-and-mortar home.

“My Oklahoma values … is to take care of your family,” Fallin, a Republican, told the TV station in a live interview.

She meant to add, “And if the taxpayers will do it for me, I will let them,” but she forgot.

Hey, I checked to see and it costs about $250 a month, $360 with electricity, to lease a trailer space in Oklahoma.  I mean, it ain’t a fancy pants one like a mansion for a neighbor  but that does seem kinda a little bit like “a special benefit.”

Maybe Oklahoma values should include a “robust economy.”

Hey, lotsa people have had their kids move back home.  They just didn’t expect the taxpayers to feed and cool them.

By the way, if we’re gonna talk about “value values,” does that include your bodyguard?

In early December 1998, an Oklahoma Highway Patrol bodyguard for Fallin resigned after admitting to unprofessional conduct. The Fallins had filed for divorce the previous week, amid allegations by her estranged husband that she had an affair with a bodyguard.

Public Safety Commissioner Bob Ricks issued a statement saying that rumors had surfaced in early September about alleged unprofessional conduct between a member of the executive security detail and the lieutenant governor. According to Ricks, the trooper first denied the allegations, but, when questioned again in October, admitted to the improprieties. He was allowed to resign, but his admission did not say if any sexual activity was involved.

Whoa boy, that there is some family values.

Thanks to everybody for the heads up.

Childress, Texas, is out in west Texas between Wichita Falls and Amarillo and is only in Texas due to a geographic formality.

Customer Richard was spending the night in a Comfort Inn in Childress and was a little surprised to see this on top of the Gideon Bible.

Wait until the first Baptist Church finds out!  And they will because they are the ones renting hotel rooms by the hour.

Thanks to Richard for the heads up.

This is exactly the kind of thing that makes satire so damn hard to tell from the truth.

Asked about Trump’s critique of his candidacy, Perry challenged Trump to a pull-up contest.

The reporter prefaced by saying that Donald Trump questioned Rick Perry’s “energy, toughness, and brain power.”

Perry skipped the brain power question and went right for what’s important.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TNqTy_rpnsM

See, this crap just ruins satire for everybody.

California has earthquakes and wildfires.  Texas has Louie Gohmert.  California does not want to trade.

Louie offered proof today that he understands the basics of reproduction.

He wants to take four opposite sex couples, four male couples, and four female couples.  He wants to deposit them on three different deserted islands with all they need to sustain life.  Then he says —

let’s come back in 100 to 200 years and see which one nature says is the preferred marriage. Which one still is doing great and doing well. And I think we’ll have our answer.

You don’t need to actually do this.  I can tell you what will happen.

On the opposite sex island, one of the men will be Newt Gingrich.  He will need to marry all four of the women to prove his commitment to marriage.  Therefore, he will have to indict and convict the other three men.

The offspring of Newt’s first marriage will be hated by Newt’s second wife so they will swim over to the lesbian island and become famous baseball players.  Newt’s second wife’s children will hang around.  The third wife’s kids will go to the gay island and learn to be world famous Broadway producers and invent a cure for cancer in their spare time.

The children of Newt’s second marriage will inbreed with the children from his fourth marriage and become the Republican congress.

I told you this would not end well, Louie, you bastard inbreed child of Newt Gingrich.

Thanks to Kyle for the heads up.