Archive for May, 2015

Here’s the Deal With Diehl

May 14, 2015 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Missouri House Speaker Republican John Diehl, one of those Republicans who believe in personality responsibility, got caught sexting with an intern at the capitol.

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Yeah well, he just didn’t mention that one of those opportunities for our kid and grandkids was to text the nasty with a powerful Republican speaker.

It only took him two weeks after being confronted with the evidence to admit he did it.

Thanks to Larry for the heads up.

Just When I Thought That Maybe “Crazy” Was It’s Own Political Party …

May 13, 2015 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Public Policy Polling proved that The Crazy Party and the Republican Party have officially merged.

A new survey from Public Policy Polling finds that one-third of Republicans believe the Jade Helm 15 conspiracy theory that “the government is trying to take over Texas,” and another 28 percent of GOP voters haven’t made up their minds yet about the matter.

If my math is correct, and most times it is, that means that 61% of Republicans believe that it is or could be true that there are large underground tunnels connecting WalMarts all across the country, put there by the United States military and prepared to be used by President Barack Obama to take away your guns, your beer and your air conditioning this summer starting in Bastrop, Texas, with 60 troops, two Humvees, and a helicopter.

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Sixty.  One.  Percent.  So if you’re a Republican and you’re not wacko or at least edging up on it, you’re not in the big tent.  If you’re a Republican and you’re at a family reunion and ten people are there, six of them should not be allowed to have knives or matches.

I heard one guy on the electric teevee insisting that Obama was going to brainwash them all.  Well, they damn well need it!  Hell, in the alternative, their brains don’t need washing because there’s nothing there to get dirty.  President Obama could just braindust them.

I have for the life of me been trying to figure out what Obama is going to do with all the people he’s herding into WalMarts.  A girl’s softball league with players of all genders?  A rock band: Guns and Tribulations?  A special army to invade Hawaii to destroy his birth certificate?

Beats the hell outta me.

Never Underestimate the Power of The Gay

May 13, 2015 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

I don’t know this for a fact, but I have been told that Russians are notoriously homophobic.

Apparently, Sweden heard the same thing.

They are currently being pestered by Russian submarines off their coast.  It is so troublesome, in fact, that Sweden is increasing its military defense spending because they suspect Russia is trying to start a cold war again.

Meanwhile, some peace-loving organizations in Sweden have created a stop-gap measure that seems to be working.

Screen Shot 2015-05-13 at 12.46.46 PMThe Swedish Peace and Arbitration Society (SPAS) is to deal with encroaching Russian submarines in Swedish waters with a device emitting anti-homophobia Morse code.

The device – officially titled The Singing Sailor Underwater Defence System, but nicknamed the “gay sailor” – is a “subsurface sonar system”, which sends out the message: “This way if you are gay” in an attempt to deter apparently homophobic Russians.

“Welcome to Sweden: Gay since 1944” is written in English and Russian, in a reference to the year of decriminalisation of homosexuality in the Scandinavian nation.

And the best line of all….

Sweden is currently not a member of Nato. And thanks to the gay sailor defence system, it may never have to be.

Thanks to Deb and Craig for the heads up.

Because They’re Still Sure He’s Coming

May 13, 2015 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

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Sure, Carly, You Can Do Economics

May 13, 2015 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

One surefire way to get rich is not to pay your bills.  It seems to have worked for Carly Fiorina, the person who claims to know “how the economy actually works.”

Carly FiorinaShe made it work for herself by not paying her staff for her senate run against Barbara Boxer in 2010.

Until late last year, Fiorina was close to $500,000 in debt from her 2010 run, nearly all of it in unpaid compensation to campaign staffers and outside consultants, according to Federal Election Commission filings.

All the bill were paid in full when she decided to run for president.  Fiorina is supposedly worth $120 million. One consultant died with Fiorina owing him $30,000, didn’t pay his widow the monies owned him until January of this year.

Yep, that’s Republican economics.

 

Oh Dan, Dan, The Secrets Man

May 12, 2015 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Okay, for you folks from foreign states here’s some background on this story.

Dan Patrick got elected Lt. Governor of Texas.  Worse things have happened in Texas but not many.

DanPatrick041210Dan Patrick is as far rightwing as you can get without falling off the earth, something Dan has done once or twice.  He has become a tad paranoid this session, believing that the Governor and the Speaker of the House are picking on him.

Okay, any good story also has a plot thickener.  Here’s one:  a group called The American Phoenix Foundation has been secretly videotaping moderate Republican members of the Texas Legislature. They have 800 hours of what they consider damaging videotape they have turned over to Breitbart Texas.

Bringing the two together and you get

A senior staffer in Lt. Gov. Dan Patrick’s office knew lawmakers were being secretly videotaped by a conservative nonprofit, but did not make senators aware because it did not involve anyone in the upper chamber.

The Texas Department of Public Safety briefed Patrick Chief of Staff Logan Spence on the videotaping previous to the story breaking last week, Patrick spokesman Alejandro Garcia confirmed Monday. Spence did not ask DPS to brief the full Senate, however, because no senators were believed to have been targeted by the group.

Of course, nobody believes that Spence didn’t tell Dan Patrick because Dan Patrick is a gossipy little ole bitty who would relish seeing moderate Republicans get beat and be replaced by his wildly crazy rightwing militia.  Dan Patrick would kiss Spence on the mouth to know secret stuff like this and would gleefully supply additional names of people to tape.

It’s gonna be like feeding red meat to lions in the Republican caucus in Austin.

Hell, this is better than recess in heaven!