Just  just heard on the electric teevee that former Republican House Speaker Dennis Hastert has been indicted.

A statement from the U.S. attorney’s office in Chicago says the 73-year-old Illinois Republican is accused of structuring the withdrawal of $952,000 in cash in order to evade the requirement that banks report cash transactions over $10,000. He’s also accused of lying to the FBI.

Let me tell you the last time I saw Dennis Hastert.  It was on January 11, 2011, when he was the sole character witness at Tom DeLay’s sentencing hearing in Austin, Texas.  Hastert said that DeLay was never motivated by power, but that he just liked to help people.  Snickering could be heard throughout the courtroom.

Hastert arrived just as the court was called to order and left immediately after his testimony, obviously and openly trying to avoid DeLay.

I wonder if DeLay will testify for him?

UPDATED:  Holy cow!  Holy cow!  Check this out:

Around 2010, Hastert met with the person several times and discussed past misconduct by Hastert. Eventually, Hastert agreed to pay the person $3.5 million in compensation and to conceal unspecified misconduct, the indictment said.

Hastert is a former wrestling coach.  What possible “past misconduct” could we be talking about?

The meeting to arrange the payoff was in 2010, so when Hastert testified for DeLay’s character he was already agreeing to be extorted for $3.5 million.  Honey, whatever he did must have been a doozy.

Republicans.  I hate them.

Odds are a tad better than average that my small town is gonna flood this weekend from the rising Brazos River.  So, I’ve spent this morning gathering together important papers and some family heirlooms and putting them in the back of my car in laundry baskets.  Bubba’s office is an old house pretty close to The River so he’s packing stuff up and backing up all the computers.

Yeah, it’s just awful but it’s just stuff so neither of us is freaking out.  There’s plenty of stuff.  Our neighbors, all Republicans, are.

We are trying to decide if they are freaking out over their stuff or the idea that they might have to take help from President Obama.  So, I sent an email to the White House and offered the President our front porch for his announcement of aid to Texas.  I’ll buy streamers, hire a band, and everything.

I’ll let y’all know how it goes.  Don’t fret.  We’ll be fine.

Watch how he does this with a straight face but emphasizes the word “federal.”

We really need a picture of Greg Abbott and Ted Cruz with a FEMA truck.

Yeah, the same Ted Cruz who voted against Hurricane Sandy relief.

I think the President needs to come to Texas and personally hand out FEMA funds and drive a few tractors to do the clean-up.  Then have a dinner and serve up a big ole heaping plate of crow.

He’s announced his campaign against Barack Obama and Islam.

I know he finished second to Mitt Romney in 2012 but 2 seems to be his lucky number because he’s polling at 2% now, which I think means he peaked early.

Oh this is gonna be fun.  Two more will announce this week.

by Primo Encarnación

• The Cult of Christian Victimology Gospel Choir
• The Demonization of Same-sex Marriage Council
• The Alligators in the Moat Immigration Committee
• The Guns for Everyone Everywhere Gang
• The American Socialist White People’s Party
• The Poor Deserve It Double Board of Directors
• The Voter Suppression Battalion
• The 77₡ on a Dollar, He-Man Woman-Haters Club
• The “Bang! Bang! Bang! Freeze!“ Police Academy
• The “Oil: Miracle Cure for Too-Clean Water” Lobby
• The Gordon Gekko Greed is Good Glee Goonsquad

Why are they all so panicked? Why are they all so strident? Why are their heads a-boil, their eyes a-goggle and their tassels a-twirl?

Because America’s Morals Are Shifting to the Left.

There a thing in Texas with the state legislature grabbing power every which away.  They claim the federal government is too big to regulate voting rights, equal rights, or the United States military.  They claim that municipal government is too small is handle the health and safety of its citizens.  But like in Goldilocks, state government is just right.

First they tell local governments that they cannot regulate fracking in their own towns.  Now they’re telling us we can’t regulate where idiots get to carry guns.

The Texas Legislature has approved fines for governmental entities that post signs prohibiting the carrying of concealed handguns in areas where licensed Texans are allowed to carry them.

Authored by tea party-backed Republican Sen. Donna Campbell, the plan passed both chambers with little debate, despite opposition from some municipal groups.

Local governments and other official entities would be fined if they post signs that might intimidate license-holders who are within their rights to carry weapons.

Intimidate?  Holy smoke on a barrel are they freekin’ kidding me?  People with guns do not want to be intimidated by a sign.  Why the hell don’t they just shoot the damn thing?

I’m not much of a cowgirl but I can flat assure you that in a contest between me and my 12 gauge versus a sign, I’m gonna win.

Intimidate.  Now we know why they need a gun – they’re wimps.