Oh Hell, Texas.

Right now, 1.2 million Texans are enrolled in Obamacare.  HB1514 just passed in the Texas House.  The purpose of that bill is to up a big red S on the insurance cards of people getting a federal subsidy under Obamacare.

Roughly a million Texans with government-subsidized health coverage could see a new label on their health insurance cards, and critics say the designation is akin to a “scarlet letter.”

Here’s the deal.  Under the Affordable Health Care Act, insurance companies must continue to provide heath care for the insured for a grace period of 90 days, even if they have fallen behind in their monthly payments.  The big red S on their insurance card will help doctors to remind patients to keep up their payments.

Yeah, because that’s what doctors are for.

“Other than creating a group that you’re going to discriminate against, I don’t see any purpose for indicating that people are getting a subsidy,” said Jose E. Camacho, executive director of the Texas Association of Community Health Centers.

No shoot, Sherlock.

Thanks to Craig for the heads up.

To be rudely honest, Republican presidential wannabe Chris Christie eats a lot.  During the 2010 and 2011 football season he ate $82,594 worth of food at sporting events.  He paid for it with taxpayer money.

Chris Christie and Jamie Foxx dancing the night way.

I’m gonna guess that Christie entertained other folks but he refuses to say who they are or what they ate.  I’m suspecting he invited Canada.

My Uncle Booger is wanted by Weight Watchers dead or alive but even he can’t figure out how to spend that much money at football games unless he bought everybody a beer and some air for Tom Brady’s footballs.

I’m thinking there were lots of to-go boxes involved.

Can you even imagine the cost of state dinners if he gets elected President?  One billion dollars for Papa John’s pizzas.

This was Mike Huckabee’s answer to a question about him selling snake oil on teevee as a diabetes cure.

Okay, if you’re a Baptist, like Mike Huckabee, you believe that God has two books.  The Book of Life and the Book of Remembrances.  God writes stuff down in these books so that when you died, he can remember stuff.

“For God shall bring every work into judgment, with every secret thing, whether it be good, or whether it be evil” — Ecclesiastes 12:14

If you’re a Baptist, like Mike Huckabee, you believe that you stand before God and the Devil argues against letting you into Heaven.

And there shall in no wise enter into it any thing that defileth, neither whatsoever worketh abomination, or maketh a lie: but they which are written in the Lamb’s book of life — Revelation 21:27.

So yeah, Mike, you kinda do.

Also, if you’re a Republican, like Mike Huckabee, you’re supposed to be the party of personal responsibility.

Thanks to Craig for the heads up.

I figure that since I live in Texas, I might as well be your foreign correspondent on Obama Taking Over Texas for No Good Reason At All.

Read for yourself a typical Facebook post from a patriot.  Click the little one to see the big one.

There were 71 comments to that post and only one expressed any questions about why this guy didn’t bleed when shot or why were they there in the first place.  The men in black are now with Jade Helm?

And if you’re wondering why this wasn’t reported on CNN, there’s an answer for that.  Click the little one to get … oh hell, just click it.

Yep, that’s all 5 people in the new media.

And then there are those having fun with it.

My daughter-in-law is pretty certain that there’s no such thing as a live armadillo.  And the reason she’s certain is that she’s never seen a live one.  The only armadillos she has ever seen are belly up in the middle of the road.  She figures that somebody with nothing better to do, which pretty much includes everybody in the towns of Pleak, Pasadena, and Pine, runs out and puts these fake dead animals in the roadway just to mess with our minds.  Or maybe they are just born dead.  I dunno.

Anyway, there’s a guy named Guy who has the inside scoop.  He has heard the report that a well-trained militia of Kamikaze Armadillos is the first line of defense in Texas.

“There’s no way we can win a conventional war, not even with the Texas Guard, Chuck Norris and Ted Nugent on our side,” said Derringer, who called himself the five-star brigadier general of the Volunteer Army of the Republic of Texas. “And it’s damn near impossible to fight a successful guerilla campaign without jungles like ‘Nam or mountains like ‘Stan—so we aim to get creative.”

Yes, you guessed it, they are arming armadillos for underground warfare …

“We read about the secret tunnels beneath Wal-Marts, the ones they’ll use for re-education camps,” Derringer said. “One tunnel plus one armadillo equals no more tunnels and a lot more freedom.”

It’s a plan so crazy that it just might work.

Thanks to Laura and Guy for the heads up.

There’s a new NBC/WallStreet Journal poll out that I flat love.

More Americans feel comfortable with a presidential candidate who identifies as gay or lesbian than with one who identifies as an evangelical Christian, according to a new poll.

The results revealed that Americans are actually quite open to having a gay presidential candidate. Sixty-one percent said they would be either enthusiastic about or comfortable with a gay or lesbian candidate, while only 37 percent said they would have reservations or be uncomfortable.

I imagine that’s mixed news for Rick Perry.

Thanks to Charles for the heads up.

So, Bubbie, you’re in a big damn hurry and you forget that you have a gun strapped to your hip.  Happens all the time, right? Especially when you’re in a big damn hurry to catch a flight to Vegas or Gulfport, Mississippi.

Well, the Texas Legislature has a cure for you!

Republican Rep. Drew Springer’s measure would protect a licensee from being arrested if he or she is caught in security with a handgun and immediately leaves the area.

So, you’re good to shoot somebody or even everybody until you get to the TSA booth, and by then, hell, you can take over the airport.

In the Lone Star State, it seems almost as common for travelers in airport security lines to forget they are carrying a handgun as it is for them to fail to take off their belts or shoes; Texas leads the U.S. in gun confiscations in airport security checks.

Texas airports confiscated 350 guns last year alone.  That means every damn day a Texan forgets he is armed.  That’s 350 Texans who aren’t gonna be any damn help at all when Obama comes to take over Texas because these gun-toting patriots have no idea they are gun-toting.  They’ll let you be herded to the Walmart secret tunnels before they remember they have a large handgun on their hip and by then it’s no help at all because it’s dark in those tunnels.

And what brought all this Guns For Free at airports stuff?

In 2013, Rep. Drew Darby was arrested in Austin after officers found a loaded pistol in his carry-on luggage that he said he’d forgotten about.

Yep, shirt check, tie check, laptop check, bag of Cheetos check, .357 check and forget.

You know what I wonder?  Does this also apply to Muslims or just white guys?  And exactly how man guns can you forget you have if you get caught?

Thanks to AlanInAustin for the heads up.