Holy cow, y’all.

Come find out, we’re killing a lot of people.

Motor vehicle accidents used to be the leading cause of death in this county.  But not in Missouri —

Firearms proved more deadly, and by a wide margin — 880 to 781 — according to the most recent federal data available. And Missouri appears to be a harbinger of things to come.

Some experts predict that for the first time in decades, firearms will kill more people nationwide this year than motor vehicles.

And the reason why traffic deaths have decreased dramatically?

Advocates credit seat belts, padded dashboards, airbags, highway median guard cables and road-edge rumble strips, among other things.

But God forbid that we talk about putting better safety mechanisms on guns!  Because FREEDOM!

Thanks to Carl for the heads up.

Republicans are doing the sexy talk again.

Catherine Hanaway is running for governor of Missouri.  She knows all about what’s wrong with America:  hoochy koochy.

Hanaway – as noted Tuesday by Salon – said that it is the culture of “sexual permissiveness” led by Democrats that is the real “war on women,” not conservatives who support anti-abortion policies.

“Their culture of permissiveness towards sexual activity is the real war on women,” she said, claiming that it has “led to record levels of out of wedlock births,” “impoverished women,” and child pornography.

Led by Democrats?  Really.

She does know that the Republican Party is the party of Mark Sanford, Mike Duvall, John Ensign, Mark Foley, Larry Craig, David Vitter, Vito Fossella, Mark Souder, Vance McAllister, Chris Lee and I could go on and on.

Thanks to chloe bear for the heads up.

A Florida congressman called Texas a bad name.

Can you imagine?

During a hearing where Republicans were once again trying to overturn Obamacare, Florida Democrat Alcee Hastings let it fly.

Florida Rep. Alcee Hastings, who called Texas “a crazy state” during a Rules Committee hearing Monday a bill to repeal the Affordable Care Act.

Rep. Michael Burgess, R-Lewisville, a member of the committee, was testifying for the bill at the time. Another Texas Republican, Dallas Rep. Pete Sessions, chairs the committee.

“And I mean that just as I said it,” Hastings said. “I told you what I think about Texas. I wouldn’t live there for all the tea in China and that’s how I feel.”

Texas congressional Republicans are demanding an apology. Yeah, they demand an apology but not healthcare.  So, what I’m saying here is that Congressman Hasting’s criticism is not undeserved.  Our Republican congressional delegation is joyfully free of the constraints of mental health guidelines.

Sorry, Alcee, but Florida is not without a few “Holy cow!  Look what he’s doing!” events.  Florida and Texas could join together and form the Confederacy of Dunces.

And that’s how I feel.

Rick Perry and his writ twits want a list of everybody who testified at the grand jury before Perry was indicted.

Now, just so everybody understands the game here:  Perry is under a two count indictment – one count of abuse of official capacity, a first-degree felony punishable by five to 99 years in prison, and one count of coercion of a public servant.  The indictment was brought by a special prosecutor, a man who everybody admits is non-partisan, and the majority of witnesses against Perry are his own staff.

Special prosecutor Michael McCrum last year said he had interviewed more than 40 people before the grand jury indicted Perry in August.

A number of people who were on Perry’s staff during his time as governor entered the room where the grand jury met behind closed doors last summer.

The score so far is 2 to zero on getting the case dismissed by a judge.  And when even Tom DeLay says things don’t look good for Rick, you know there’s a problem.

I have some help for Rick.  So you want to know who testified before the grand jury?  Everybody, Babe, everybody.

Okay, I hope you’re not eating while you read this.  Seriously.

North Carolina Republican Senator (you’re cringing already, aren’t you) Thom Tillis has decided that requiring restaurant employees wash their hands after going to the bathroom is an infringement on … FREEDOM!

Tillis was discussing this idea with a friend, who seemed, I am fairly certain, a little taken back.

Tillis said his interlocutor was in disbelief, and asked whether he thought businesses should be allowed to “opt out” of requiring employees to wash their hands after using the restroom.

The senator said he’d be fine with it, so long as businesses made this clear in “advertising” and “employment literature.”

And it would say something like, “Come to Starbucks, where we guarantee a little pee in your coffee.”

Okay, so how is requiring the business to have their employees wash their hands any different than requiring the business to post a sign or advertise if they don’t?  Unless, of course you quietly eliminate the advertising stipulation when no one is looking.

Republicans:  Guaranteeing the freedom to pee in someone’s soup!

Thanks to Claudia for the heads up.

Republican Representative Aaron Schock does not want to talk about this congressional office.  At all.  Nope.  Not talking.

Aaron Schock is real fond of showing off his six pack.  I suspect that his shirt often just falls off when cameras are around, which appears to be often because if you search the internets for a picture of him, a whole bunch of them are missing a shirt.  That’s oaky.  He’s a real cutie pie and, Honey, he knows it.

Bless his heart, he even did a magazine cover about his body.  He’s proud of that manly sucker.

His office?  Not so much.  It’s been described as lavish.  In my mind, it’s a tad fussy for a grown man who is not wearing a powdered wig.

A Washington Post reporter got to see it.  Shock’s interior decorator gave him a tour.

She introduced herself as Annie Brahler, the interior decorator whose company is called Euro Trash. She guided me to Schock’s private office, revealing another dramatic red room. This one with a drippy crystal chandelier, a table propped up by two eagles, a bust of Abraham Lincoln and massive arrangements of pheasant feathers.

I dunno.  Maybe he’s a pheasant hunter.  If not, he’s probably into some kinky stuff.

His office tried their darnest to kill the story.

Then, my phone rang.

It was Schock’s communications director, Benjamin Cole.

“Are you taking pictures of the office?” he asked. “Who told you you could do that? . . . Okay, stay where you are. You’ve created a bit of a crisis in the office.”

I wonder how this is going to play in Peoria, Schock’s district.  That probably explains the crisis, right?

Thanks to chloe bear for the heads up.