It’s been a spectacular week for gun nuts in Texas.

The Texas Branch of Really Homely Guys With Guns, aka Open Carry Texas, stormed the State Capitol on the first day of the session, and proceeded to threaten members of the legislature.

Seriously.

They seemed to particularly enjoy harassing the Hispanic members.  One member escorted them from his office.

The gun nuts themselves posted this video on Facebook to show the difference between guts and gall. Their cause is that you shouldn’t have to  have a license to carry a firearm.  They believe that requiring a background check or a license is an infringement on their rights.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BYqSP4xoP5U

Kory Watkins, the head of this group, is a very strange guy.  Plus, bless his heart, he’s homely as a mud fence.  Have you ever noticed that about the gun nuts?  They are very homely guys.  Bless their hearts.

They got so cranky that even one of their original members dropped out of the visitations.

Fellow gun-rights activist CJ Grisham said he initially accompanied the group as they stopped by Capitol offices, but left before they reached Nevárez because he disagreed with how they were interacting with lawmakers.

“I just can’t believe the utter lack of professionalism, tact and, really, common courtesy that I saw today,” Grisham said. “It was intimidation, it was talking down, it was speaking over, it was childishness, and it did absolutely zero to even engage in conversation.”

Honey, when you’re too nutty for the other nuts, you gotta dial it back a notch or two.  Or at least get your seat tray in the full upright and locked position.

Kory Watkins

Watkins and his group says they plan several more visits to the Texas Capitol during the session.

With that promise on the homefront, Texas House members – you know, the people sponsoring the bill to allow for open carry without a license — have decided to allow the installation of Panic Buttons in their offices to alert DPS if something bad is going down. I have no problem with that for Democrats. But ….

Holy cow, Republicans, you created these guys.  You brought them to the prom and now you gotta dance with them.  So, instead of a panic button, I say Republicans in the House get one of those “I’ve fallen and I can’t get up” buttons.

And, finally, the NRA needs a panic button of their own.

On their website, they show a picture of a diverse group of people wanting more gun rights.

Looks wildly like a stock photo —

Read all about it here.

So, that’s a trifecta today for the NRA.

Thanks to everybody for all the heads up.

The rightwing Washington Times posted a list of Bill Kistol’s 2016 list of possible Republican candidates.

Here ya go.  Our friend John of the Great Graphics has added some snickering to the list.

John Bolton
Jeb Bush (Thanks, Texas.)
Ben Carson (Oooh, a black guy!)
Chris Christie (Hunka. Hunka. Literally.)
Ted Cruz (Thanks again, Texas.)
Carly Fiorina (A woman!)
Lindsey Graham (Another woman!)
Mike Huckabee
Bobby Jindal
John Kasich
Peter King
Mike Pence
Rick Perry (Now Texas, cut that out!)
Mitt Romney (The ghost of Christmas Past.)
Marco Rubio
Paul Ryan
Rick Santorum
Joe Scarborough (Uh, what?)
Scott Walker
Allen West (Another black guy!)
Dick Cheney (He hasn’t shot any friends in the face for a while now.)
Tom Cotton
Mitch Daniels (His bro Charlie had a band.)
Joni Ernst (Reputed woman.)
Newt Gingrich (Who already thinks he is Prez.)
Rudy Giuliani

I would like to add a far more qualified name to the list.  Herb Appleby, the guy who lives across the street from me and is the Republican precinct chair.  Herb’s older than Dick Cheney and almost as mean.  You have to get off his lawn or he will holler at you.  Herb still has the first nickel he ever earned and deeply suspects that we are running a Muslim undocumented worker abortion clinic at our house.  Herb is as qualified as any of the people above and at least he’d keep the White House lawn neat and in order.

Thanks to John for the heads up.

Republicans loved Ebola.  It was a helluva way to scare people.

Right before the election last year, Darrell Issa touted a phone app to use to see if you have Ebola, Louie Gohmert was just certain that the President was importing Ebola, David Vitter wanted a detailed emergency Ebola plan while Erick Erickson said the outbreak was caused by fat lesbians, Republicans demanded an Ebola Czar, and Ted Cruz drooled.

And this happened in October, right before the mid-term elections, and Republicans ran around with their hair on fire yelping that only they cared about this being the end. of. the. damn. world.

Well, once again, they were wrong.

Republican cannot be wrong.  They just can’t do it.

So, our friends over at GOP USA have an explanation.

Yep, that says Ebola was simply a ruse to keep our eyes off something even worse coming from Mexico.  That’s a news flash, my friend.

And since there’s no elections coming up, this time they want to sell you something for just $49.  It’s a book telling you how to put on a band-aid, put together a first aid kit, get your medicines in 3 month supplies, and “putting a shoulder back in place.”  Warning:  do not try to do that to me.  I will hurt you.  Badly.

So anyway, Ebola is not a thing now but you still need to be scared poopless.

We’re here to keep you up to date on your Republican scare tactics.

Today is the special election for Texas House District 13 and that’s a frightening thing because of a woman named Becky Berger.  I’ve told you about her before and how President Obama is running against her for Texas House District 13.

If you know anybody who lives in HD13 in Texas, make them go vote today.

Berger had two mailers hit people’s houses today.  Here’s the first.  I call it the goofy one: (Click the little one to see the big one.)

Yep – that’s why we celebrate the New Year.  Ms. Berger is not in that picture.

And then the scary one, that’s brought to you by the letters W, T, and F.

Serious Conservative Firepower?  Who the hell is she gonna shoot?  “Texas is American’s last stand for freedom?”  Yeah, Oklahoma, suck on that!

Seriously, call random people in Texas HD 13 and tell them to not vote for Becky Berger because if your butt ain’t conservative, she’s got firepower to fix it.  Serious firepower.

Yee Haw!

Election results right here all night.  https://team1.sos.state.tx.us/enr/results/jan13_183_state.htm?x=0&y=44&id=358

If President Obama had gone to France, they’d call him a cheese eating panty waist who pals around with surrender monkeys.

If he doesn’t….

He’s worse than Hitler.

Victory!  The brutal, vicious, devastating war on cupcakes has been won.

Newly elected Texas Agriculture Commissioner Sid Miller, a frequent guest at this beauty salon for his love of guns and transvaginal sonograms, has decided to take on the big issues of Texas.

Before we start this story about Sid and the cupcakes, I need to tell you something.  Ole Sid has a bad case of dinky-do.  That’s when his stomach sticks out more than his dinky-do.

Even so, people were a little taken back when Sid announced his first official act.  He freed the cupcakes.

Newly elected Agriculture Commissioner Sid Miller is going for the gut. In his first official act as commissioner, Miller granted full amnesty to cupcakes. Cakes, pies, and brownies made the list, too.

At a press conference Monday at the Texas Department of Agriculture, with a Hey Cupcake! food truck parked behind him, Miller reminded Texans that the statewide rules that once banned cupcakes and other junk food from classrooms were repealed last July. And the Miller administration, he said, will “do less when it comes to mandates for our local schools.”

I know y’all think I’m making this up.  I am not.

The policy, which has been in place since 2004, was not one of the big issues in the last election but Sid was plenty upset about it and bygawd he was gonna fix it come diabetes or high water.

“If you ask me, that sounds like something from the Obama administration,” Miller said of the 2004 policy. “I can’t believe we would be doing that here in Texas.”

Oh yeah, it’s also state law in Texas that you can’t hate something without blaming President Obama.

The law was put in place by Republican Ag Commissioner Susan Combs.  Republican.

(Heavy Sigh)  It’s gonna be an awfully long legislative session, y’all.

So, Ole Sid freed the cupcakes and held a press conference to do it.

This is not from The Onion.  This is from the Washington Post.

Before he went to the Capitol, Miller walked to the microphone with a cupcake in hand.

“There was once a famous line, and it went like this: Let them eat cake,” he said, taking a big bite of his cupcake.

Y’all, he has no clue where that line is from.  He has no idea that it’s meant to signify someone who is filled to the brim with arrogance and totally clueless about a given situation.

Or maybe he does.