At my house Ben Carson is known as He Who Cannot Be Named because my friends who are African American have promised to stain my carpet at the mention of his name.

Carson has taken a bipartisan stand on immigration:  throw their butts out.  I suspect that’s bipartisan in the ignorant jackbooted thug vs rightwing fool divide.

He has a new solution now.

Carson also demanded that the government begin deporting undocumented immigrants for the extremely rare incidents of voter fraud… and revoking the citizenship that they do not have: “Anyone caught involved in voter fraud should be immediately deported and have his citizenship revoked.”

So if an undocumented worker commits voter fraud, we revoke his citizenship?  Cool.  I can live with that.

 Thanks to Mike for the heads up.

Chris Christie is a nincompoop, so I deeply enjoyed seeing him try to be a “regular guy” by hugging Jerry Jones in the owner’s box after the Dallas game.   Yes, regular guys sit in the owner’s box.

And the memes followed.  My personal favorite —

And now the story gets even more juicy.

Less than two years before Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones paid for New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie’s tickets and travel to NFL games, government documents show Christie personally pushed the Port Authority to approve a lucrative contract for a firm part-owned by Jones.

After IBTimes’ report, Christie officials acknowledged that Jones paid for Christie’s travel and tickets to recent Cowboys games. They assert that the gifts are legal under a separate executive order that aims to exempt gifts from “personal friends” of the governor.

So Christie loves the Cowboys but not enough to pay for his own ticket, like, you know, a regular guy.

He’s a nincompoop.

Thanks to Mark for the heads up.

Y’all, Louie’s website is back working now.

It’s pretty fancy but it’s slow to load and says a lot without actually saying anything.

You know, just like Louie.

Well, our new Governor already has his hand out.  For a mere $100,000 you can be a sponsor at the Governor’s Inauguration.

Take a glimpse right here of other “opportunities” to show your respect.

Yeah, but for $100,000 you get signs at all the events, front row VIP seats, dinner on the grounds of the capitol, tickets to the Texas Ball, and your picture made with the Governor and the Lt. Governor.  For $150,000 you get to shower with them, too.

Okay, so I made up that last part.  You can shower with them for free.

Cincinnati, where an off duty police office took his wife to dinner:

They were in an elevator  when the office began adjusting his department issued firearm in his holster.  It, of course, went off.

Police tell WCPO-TV that the bullet ricocheted off the elevator walls and struck him.

Jouett was taken to the University of Cincinnati Medical Center with injuries that weren’t life-threatening.

Eight ball in the side pocket?

And then comes…

Capt. Mike John with the Cincinnati Police Department calls the situation “very unusual.”

Billy Bob Janochek went over the VFW Hall Dance last Saturday night, finished off a 12 pack of Lone Star and got very unusual, too.

Thanks to MB for the heads up

I love Texas.  I do.  But even I have to admit that it’s hard to live here.

Until times like now.

I am given to understand that the rest of you are freezing to death.  It’s so damn cold that it’ll freeze boiling water so fast that it’ll make warm ice cubes.

Oh sure, we have hurricanes.  They give you three days warning to get out of town and go to some nice hotel in San Antonio.  Beats the hell outta shoveling snow.

Y’all stay warm out there.