Archive for January, 2015

Holy Crap: Ted Cruz and Passover Edition

January 07, 2015 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Okay, I don’t get this.

Ted Cruz, who views himself as some sort of John the Baptist heralding the second coming of Sweet Jesus, is the headliner at Passover.

TedCruz_snuggleTexas Sen. Ted Cruz, a likely Republican presidential candidate and a vocal pro-Israel hawk, is being advertised as a featured attraction at a string of ritzy resort vacation getaways catering to religious Jews.

The events are planned by The Prime Experience.

The one at the St. Regis Monarch Beach offers “some of the greatest rabbis and scholars of our time including Rabbi Lord Jonathan Sacks, Rabbi Eli Mansour, Rabbi Marvin Hier, Rabbi Abraham Cooper and Senator Ted Cruz.”

Darlin’, that looks like one of those “Which One Doesn’t Belong” questions.

Ya think those rabbis know why Ted Cruz wants a strong Israel?

Thanks to Craig for the heads up.

And If AnyBody Would Use One, It Would Be Lindsey!

January 07, 2015 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Ms. Lindsey “Beauregard” Graham presented Joni Ernst with a welcoming gift to the United States Senate.

It’s a plaque for her office.

It says “Make ‘Em Squeal, Joni.”

(You might want to close your eyes at this point.)

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Yeah.  Lindsey Graham gave a woman a castration device.

Yeah.  That happened.

Graham told ABC News that Ernst’s campaign ad “stuck with me,” prompting him to give Ernst the sign that reads, “Make ’em squeal, Joni.”

“That commercial was probably the most effective commercial in the last 20 years and this phrase I think is what that election is all about,” he said.

Personally, I think Lindsey wants to be first in line for the squealing part.

Thanks to Julie for the heads up.

Yes!

January 06, 2015 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Baseball Hall of Fame, here I come!

Best news so far this year — Craig Biggio made the Hall of Fame.

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The Daily Gohmert

January 06, 2015 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Okay, phew, I was worried there for a minute.

But, Sarah, The Dog Stander, came through.  She has endorsed Louie.

So those that have gone along just to get along with President Obama, like Speaker Boehner, we need to thank them for their service and say time for new energy and time for commitment to those campaign promises to be fulfilled. I love Louie Gohmert. I love those Texan politicians who call it like they see it and are true conservatives. So I will be rooting for Louie.”

She loves him.  You know, like she loves her dog.  It’s just something else to stand on.

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Kirby Delauter, He Who Also Cannot Be Named

January 06, 2015 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Kirby Delauter got himself elected to the council of Frederick County, Maryland.  He apparently ran for this office of his own free will.

A local reporter by the name of Bethany Rodgers wrote a story for the newspaper and quoted Councilman Delauter.  She called the councilman for a comment prior to publishing her story but he refused to return her call.

Screen Shot 2015-01-06 at 11.22.25 AMShe wrote her story and the duly elected councilman did not take kindly to that.  He took it to Facebook.  You know, where he has “friends.”

In a Facebook post, Delauter slammed reporter Bethany Rodgers of the Fredericks News-Post “for an unauthorized use of my name and my reference” in an article over the weekend.

“So let me be clear,” he continued, apparently addressing Rodgers, “do not contact me and do not use my name or reference me in an unauthorized form in the future.”

He added that he’s aware that she has “a liberal agenda.”

Woooooooo.  A liberal agenda?  Why haven’t charges been filed, bygawd?

Ms. Rodgers informed Kirby Delauter that she does not need his permission to write about him.  She says that it’s responsibility to do so and she will continue to contact him to give him an opportunity to respond.

So Kirby Delauter responded:

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So what he’s saying is that Fox News cannot mention President Obama’s name without President Obama’s permission?  Cool.

Kirby Delauter has a small problem with the First Amendment.  It, too, apparently has a liberal agenda.

So, in honor of Bethany Rodgers, please let me say ….

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Heads Up

January 06, 2015 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

If you’re having problems with the website, you are not alone.  (Heavy sigh.)

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I’m having trouble approving comments and some readers say they can only access old posts.  Hell, they’re still funny!

Let’s hope this passes soon.