Okay, my entire christmas season is ruined.  Ruined, I tell you.

One tweet and now I can’t stop thinking about something so disgusting … so nasty … so gross… oh dear God!  Blake Farenthold has s-e-x.  With people.  Or at least he thinks about it.

Ruined.  My thoughts are ruined.  How would suspect that a man like this would have sexual fantasies?

Now couple that with his new website, and there you have Mr. Tea Party.

Thanks to Lorraine in Spring for the heads up.

Eric Hillman, who used to work for the Nueces County (think Corpus Christi) District Attorney’s Office, is suing his former bosses.

As a prosecutor for the office, he was assigned a DWI case against a local man.  As he began interviewing witnesses prior to trial, he found that the police had left out at least one witness: the one who said the driver was not drunk.

In Texas, a prosecutor is supposed to seek justice, not get convictions.  So, prosecutors are required to disclose to the defense any exculpatory information.

Hillman’s bosses wanted none of that there crap going in in Texas.

He told his supervisor about it and claims his supervisor told him he did not need to inform the other side, which is required in the discovery process of a case in court.

Hillman did not want to wrongly pursue the case, so he called the State Bar of Texas for their opinion.

“They affirmed that he in fact needed to turn over that witness to the defense, so he went back to the supervisors and told them he was going to disclose the witness and he was fired the morning of the trial,” Pratt said.

The newspaper contacted the district attorney’s office to get a comment but, “They would not speak about the case, citing pending litigation.”  Damn, ain’t that just slick as polished ice?  The District Attorney’s office has lawyered-up!

Sic ‘um, Hillman.

Y’all, Texas has another presidential contender.

Jeb Bush.

Former Florida Gov. Jeb Bush announced Tuesday that he will “actively explore” the possibility of a presidential run in 2016.

I know Jeb says he’s from Florida but he was born and educated right here in Texas and didn’t move to Florida until after his dad was elected Vice President.

So, if you’e keeping score at home, Texas has 4 presidential contenders in 2016.   Ted Cruz, Rick Perry, Jeb Bush, and Rand Paul (who moved to Texas when he was five and was educated here). I wish to apologize for Texas hogging all the dumb.

You know, they say that Jeb Bush is the smart one.  But lets face it, the Bush family’s bar on that attribute is lower than a snake’s belly on digging day.

Kory Watkins is President of Open Carry Tarrant County (Fort Worth).  He’s a gun exhibitionist, which is kinda like a pole dancer but the pole has a trigger.

To start the month off, there was a witty little visit from Missy Karma. Kory was out pitching hissy fits at a DUI safety checkpoint set up by Arlington police.  Kory doesn’t believe in checkpoints so to make his statement, he screamed obscenities at the police while they were conducting the checkpoint.  He also spent time warning drivers that there was a checkpoint down the road.  So, of damn course, on the way home he gets rear ended by … yep … a drunk driver.

But he thinks you’re “sick” if you see any humor in that.

“I see a few sick I individuals taken time to think this is a joke or it’s funny that the cops helped me,” Watkins said. “Let me say this. I am happy the police showed up to catch him but I’m trying to figure out where they helped me any….. Was it the part where they showed up 15 minutes after the crime or was it when they wrote me a 300$ ticket after my car was totaled?”

The ticket was for driving without a valid license.  Kory doesn’t believe in valid licenses.

Kory has difficulty with that whole time continuum thingy.  If the cops had stopped the drunk driver at the checkpoint, Kory would not have been hit.

He then proceeded to try to raise money to pay his fine and buy a new car because walking around with a big pole doesn’t pay near as well as you’d suspect.  Kory also doesn’t believe in insurance.

Then, one of his recruits and members in good standing, kills her husband and his daughter with a gun.  That she was openly carrying.  Kory does not believe a gun did that despite bullet holes.

And now, well, it looks like he’s not going to believe in the Secret Service.

I dunno.  That kinda sounds a little bit like, you know, armed freekin’ rebellion.

I don’t believe in that.

Thanks to Irene for the heads up.

Pastor Ed James from the Bertha Chapel Missionary Baptist in Jackson, Mississippi, has himself some powerfully strong feelings about marriage equality.

A Mississippi pastor brought a horse in a wedding dress to stand with him outside a federal courthouse on Friday in Jackson to protest a federal judge’s ruling, currently on hold, to overturn the socially conservative state’s ban on gay marriage.

Seriously, a horse in a wedding dress.

We think it was a girl horse but from the way the horse is dressed, it’s hard to tell.  Besides, that style is soooooo dated.  I do not know if Pastor James’ wife wore that dress prior to it being used to shame people, so I won’t speculate.  Much.

Pastor James asked passerby if they wanted to marry a horse.

No one was more perverted than Pastor James, who is obviously having some pretty weird thoughts.

Pastor James says the horse’s name is Charlotte.  I think Delilah would have been more appropriate because she was used for evil, too.

Thanks to Annabelle for the heads up.

Victoria, Texas, is right down the road from me.  I have a lot of friends in Victoria, Texas.

Even some old ones.

Pete Vasquez is 76 years old and was pulled over by 23 year old Officer Nathaniel Robinson for having an expired inspection sticker on his car.

Vasquez explained to Officer Robinson that this was a work-owned vehicle that belonged to a car lot.  In Texas, dealer tags make you exempt from inspection stickers.  It’s the law.

Vasquez violated no laws, and for that he got slammed on the hood of a car, thrown on the cement ground, tasered twice, and cuffed.  He was placed in the back of a patrol car and kept in police custody for two hours.

“He just acted like a pit bull, and that was it,” Vasquez recalled. “For a while, I thought he was going to pull his gun and shoot me.”

Even witnesses to the event were threatened.

Larry Urich, who works as a sales manager at the car lot, told the Advocate that the officer should be both fired from the force and prosecuted for assault.

“I told the officer, ‘What in the hell are you doing?’ This gentleman is 76 years old,” Urich said. “The cop told me to stand back, but I didn’t shut up. I told him he was a goddamned Nazi Stormtrooper.”

Vasquez is lucky to be alive. Officer Nathaniel Robinson has been placed on “administrative leave.”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BVNwPD7CPR8

Somebody needs their butt kicked.

Thanks to Laura and Frank for the heads up.