In Pennsylvania, Richard Carter didn’t get along with his neighbor very well.  So, when the neighbor was putting up Christmas lights last weekend, Carter thought it would be a good time to shoot him.

Carter took a couple of shots but thank goodness he’s not wasting his ammo on target practice because he missed both times.  The neighbor got a cut lip from a ricocheting bullet.  Other neighbors called the police.

It turns out that Carter is very anti-government and often posts signs in his yard stating so.  That makes it understandable that he doesn’t want Christmas lights competing with his political thoughts.

Carter hats the government so much that he held the SWAT police in a stand-off for three hours.  He finally gave himself up.

Munhall Police, the SWAT team and negotiators were brought in to get Carter to surrender. Police say Carter had more than two dozen firearms and thousands of rounds of ammo inside of his house.

Police also say they had been called to his home several times and were aware that he had “mental health issues.”

That’s good to know.

I turned on the teevee to see coverage from New York in the chokehold police murder of a guy committing the horrendous crime of selling single cigarettes on the street.

Some dude on CNN defended the grand jury and said in plain English, “If you just do what the police officers tell you to do, you’ll probably be okay.”

Probably?

Yeah, dude, and you’re probably an idiot.

Oklahoma doofus James Inhofe is going to head the Committee on the Environment in the United States Senate.

He honestly believes that Barbra Streisand made up global warming to “advance her radical environmental agenda” and fooled 97% of the world’s scientists into believing it.

Holy cow.  He’s serious.

At a climate concern gathering in Copenhagen, Denmark, Inhofe was questioned by a reporter.

That these people who have traveled from all points of the globe to be here are victims of a well-orchestrated hoax?

Yes, he said, still smiling.

That’s some hoax, I countered. But who has engineered such a scam?

Hollywood liberals and extreme environmentalists, Inhofe replied.

Really? I asked. Why would they conspire to scare all these smart people into believing a catastrophe was under way, when all was well?

Inhofe didn’t skip a beat: To advance their radical environmental agenda.

I pressed on: Who in Hollywood is doing this?

The whole liberal crowd, Inhofe said.

But who?

Barbra Streisand, he responded.

I nearly laughed. All these people had assembled in Copenhagen because of Barbra Streisand. A singer and actor had perpetuated the grandest con of the past 100 years?

That’s right, Inhofe said, with a straight face. And others, he added.

Well, I guess it’s a good thing that Barbra didn’t do it alone.

Big oil has given Inhofe enough money to buy Barbra Streisand.  And others.

Well, at least Inhofe’s office is another place we can check off the list on the hunt for the University of Texas missing brains.

Thanks to Fred for the heads up.

Oh yeah, deep in the bowels of East Texas, where men are men and sheep are scared, comes just the kind of school board member you want making decisions for our children.  Hooks, Texas, is a small town where the population is 86% white and the mean household income is $32,085 a year.

Chris Harris, a school board member, took to Facebook and posted this lovely picture of a KKK member all gussied up in drag with the comment, “I’m dreaming of a white Christmas.”

When the three Democrats in town complained, Harris responded that it “was meant as a joke,” and “I am by no way racist as this got taken way out of context.”

Hummm … pardon me while I ponder, what the hell other context is there?

Maybe you can explain the non-racist way that picture is meant.

Once again, I am sure you can appreciate why I have great difficulty in believing that the three wise men came from the east.

Thanks to everybody and Aunt Matilda for the heads up.

Yesterday you could have made a lot of money by betting that there were over 100 brains in Texas at any given time.  I know lots of people who would have taken that bet and spotted you half a dozen brains.  Myself included.

Turns out, there were.  But not the living kind.  In a headline obviously written by an Aggie —

Come to find out, in the 1980s a Texas mental hospital bequeathed  200 brains taken during autopsies of patients and placed in jars with formaldehyde to the University of Texas. Later, the brain of Charles Whitman, the man who took to the tower at UT with a high powered rifle and killed 16 students, was added to the collection.  During his autopsy, it was discovered that the former Marine had an undetected brain tumor.

The brains were put into to storage, moved a couple of times, and have now disappeared.  No one knows where they went.  However, I think we can rule out Mississippi, the Texas House of Representatives, the Governor’s office, and Fox News.

Thanks to everybody for the heads up.

UPDATE:  The brains have been found.  They are in San Antonio.  Which is where I’d go if I had a brain.  UT still has them, but they got moved to the San Antonio campus.  Or they hailed a cab.

Thanks to Mary for the heads up.

It does not bother me in the least if Lindsey Graham is a gay man.  I just wish he’d be a proud gay man.

Benghazi is over, Senator.  You lost.

Thanks to Monty for the heads up.