Republican State Senator Donna Campbell is about a quart low on estrogen.  She spends her days looking for people to hate.

You know, those “different” people who don’t quite fit into her Tupperware lifestyle model.

There’s a Republican woman here in my county named Terese who is obsessed with gay people.  I mean, not like Grace in Will and Grace.  This woman is sure as tootin’ that gay people are going to hell and she doesn’t mind telling you that.  Every.  Damn.  Day.  We are all pretty certain that her son is gay and pretending not to be because he doesn’t want to go to hell or upset a mother who hates him.  It’s sad in that “shut the hell up, woman” kind of way.

I think Donna Campbell is the same deal.  Now, cover your eyes if you you have a weak stomach because I am going to put a picture State Senator Donna Campbell gazing way too lovingly into Rick Santorum’s eyes.  Prepare yourself.  Okay, look right.

I know.  I know.  Even Santorum has to look away because it’s so gross.

So Donna Campbell has introduced a bill that says you can discriminate against someone if they violate your “sincerely held religious belief.”

Nobody seems to know what that means, especially when you add it to the whole language in the bill.

Campbell’s proposal would strengthen existing protections in Texas for the “right to act or refuse to act in a manner motivated by a sincerely held religious belief,” a legal maneuver that critics have described as a “license to discriminate.”

That whole “right to act” thing is kinda loosey goosey.  Obviously that does not include the right to act like a Christian.

I’m getting me a whole list of things that are my sincerely held religious beliefs.  This might be fun.

Before we start, I need to make it clear that there are certain groups of people who I don’t like.

Mainly, they are developers, political consultants, and big oil sumbitches.

Kinder Morgan is a giant Texas oil company.  They have decided that they need to triple the size of their Canadian pipeline.   Their lawyer, Bill Kaplan, worked himself into a downright tizzy last week when protestors took to social media to object.

This will not stand!

So, he goes to court and says ….

Mr. Kaplan had argued the defendants conspired against Kinder Morgan, employing social media and telephone networks to harm the oil company and pipeline builder Trans Mountain as they seek to nearly triple capacity by expanding a route under Burnaby Mountain.

He entered into evidence photographs of protesters wearing facial expressions he said demonstrate anger and violence.

“One of the things I will argue is that is not only intimidation, but that is actually an assault,” he said on Wednesday.

Making faces is assault.  Cool.  I’m packing my bags for Austin, Babe!

Okay, so here’s what I hear Mr. Kaplan saying:  Momma, he’s looking at me!

No, seriously, facial expressions are now assault.  How about really ugly people?  Can we just put them in jail for leaving their house?

Okay, my friend Elizabeth wants to know that if a Republican gives her a dirty face, can she stand her ground?

Thanks to Elizabeth for the heads up.

So there’s a charity formed in Houston called Helping a Hero.  Meredith Iler runs it.

Come to find out, it isn’t much of a charity.  There are numerous complaints from veterans who were bilked.  They were told that if they bought a lot of land, Helping a Hero would donate $100,000 toward a house and builders would contribute that much too.

West Point graduate Sam Brown was one of those wounded veterans.  He bought the land, he and his wife paid taxes on it for a year, and …..

Almost weekly, he pleaded with the charity for an update. He said all he got from Helping A Hero founder Meredith Iler were excuses.

“That was the theme, ‘Sam just bear with us, we don’t have everything lined up yet,'” Brown said, quoting Iler. “‘We are working on it, we are working diligently.'”

He finally sold the land and give up.

This happened over and over.  When the local tv station investigated, the found….

Veteran Eddie Wright of Conroe, Texas, recipient of the Bronze Star and Purple Heart, served on the board of Helping a Hero for six months. He said he quit after learning of how Meredith Iler was spending donation money, such as a $3,500 breakfast for advisory board members at the exclusive River Oaks Country Club in Houston.

Wright says he’s troubled by other expenditures, such as an unexplained $39,000 reimbursement to Iler and a $20,000 payment for anonymous speaker travel.

That does seem a little excessive for breakfast.  But what Wright found out next really floored him.

Wright later learned that speaker was former President George W. Bush, flying a private jet from Houston to Dallas in association with the charity’s 2012 annual fundraiser gala. What upsets him more, he says, is the fact that Iler paid Bush $100,000 to speak at the same gala.

“You are our leader. Why would you charge somebody $100,000 to raise money for men and women who are wounded fighting a war that you commanded us to go fight?” Wright said.

Is there going to be a time when George W. Bush isn’t making money off the misfortune of young American men and women fighting a war?

I thought I was as cynical as a human was biologically able to be.  But this takes the cake.  Is there a pit of hell deep enough for this man?

Oh yeah, there’s an investigation.

News 8 has confirmed that both the Texas attorney general’s and the Harris County district attorney’s offices are investigating complaints filed against Helping A Hero.

Yep, both Republicans.  That mean Bush will get a medal and the vets will get the screw.

Meredith Iler lives in Cypress.  Here is her Texas voting record.  The R’ s mean Republican.

Thanks to Sandy D for the heads up.

So, I read where some oil company guy is paying his wife almost a billion damn dollars in a divorce.  You gotta hate somebody a whole lot to be willing to give them a billion dollars just to go away.

Continental Resources (CLR.N) Chief Executive Officer Harold Hamm has been ordered to pay nearly $1 billion to his ex-wife in one of the largest-ever U.S. divorce judgments, according to a court filing on Monday.

In an 80-page ruling following a more than nine-week divorce trial that ended last month, Oklahoma Special Judge Howard Haralson ruled that oil magnate Hamm should pay his ex-wife a total of $995.5 million.

Bubba said that if I divorce him I get half a GMC pick up truck, his 7 iron which never worked worth crap anyway, and his entire collection of coffee cans with leftover nails in them.

(Hey, see what I did there?  Hell’s Bills.  Get it?  Like Hell’s Bells except Hell’s Bills.  Oh screw it, it’s a damn Tuesday.)

Okay, campers, we are headed into what will prove to be one of the most interesting Texas legislature session in the history of modern insanity.

As some of you know, I am of minimal acquaintance with a retired state representative and goat rodeo troublemaker, Glen Maxey.  Maxey is reading every bill that comes through The Lege and when a bill fancies his favor he will toss it my way.  In exchange for this service, I have to buy him Mexican food every time I go to Austin.  I will start a Feed Glen Maxey fund sometime in the near future.

So today’s offerings are bills filed about public schools.

Hell’s Bill Numero Uno:  HB93  Relating to the repeal of the offenses of failure to attend school and parent contributing to nonattendance.  Okay, here’s the deal.  Compulsory school attendance?  Way too much compulsory in it.  Let’s let parents keep kids at home doing God-only-knows-what with them.

But, if you do want to go to school …

Hell’s Bill Dos:  HB138  says that the Ten Commandments can be posted in the classroom.

The board of trustees of an independent school district may not prohibit the posting of a copy of the Ten Commandments in a prominent location in a district classroom.

Well, so much for that local control that Republicans just love, love, love.

And to enforce all this …

Hell’s Bill Thirdo: HB198 – They are arming school boards.

Relating to the carrying of concealed handguns by certain persons attending a school board meeting

And those certain people?  Well, that would be members of the school board.  So, protecting yourself against the government just got a little bit harder because you cannot carry a gun into a school board meeting, even if you are licensed.

Its gonna be a hot time in the Old Lege in January.  I am considering going to Austin for the swearing-in ceremony.  If anybody would like to huddle up the night before, let me know and we’ll ponder on renting out the basement of Stubb’s barbeque.

From my favorite veteran today —

So today I’m gonna get all the free Veterans Day stuff. I’m getting breakfast at IHOP, coffee at Starbucks, a hair cut at Sports Clips, and for dinner, buffet at the Indian casino in Iowa. I would get lunch too, but I don’t think I could eat that much.