Rick Perry is starting his Presidential tour.  He went to Dartmouth college and got punked.

The governor of Texas stopped by Dartmouth College, in Hanover, N.H., to discuss “border security, energy initiatives, and foreign policy,” according to student newspaper The Dartmouth, but some in attendance at the speech had a different idea.

The politician received a number of questions about homosexuality and sex during his appearance, such as “[do] you dislike bootysex because the peeny goes in where the poopy comes out?” and “would you have anal sex for $102 million?”

The questioner explained afterwards …

I asked Perry if he would have anal sex for $102 million, which is the amount of campaign contributions he received during his multiple runs for governor. As Packer explained, ‘This particular question occurred in the background of Perry’s moral opposition to anal sex (which we are criticizing), and was motivated by the fact that if Perry has any moral boundaries that have not been carefully selected by a team of campaign managers to appeal to specific constituencies, he has almost certainly had to violate those moral boundaries for campaign contributions.’ The power Perry has accumulated is large and threatening.

Good point.

Thanks to everybody for the heads up.

The Big Coloring Book Company chose Veteran’s Day to release Edition Two of Worship at The Feet of Ted Cruz.

No, Ted Cruz never served in the military.

Little known fact: he also cannot fly and looks unforgivably silly in tights.

No, this really is a thing.

They say it’s for children but I don’t believe that.  Ted’s face would frighten children.

Thanks to Brian C for the heads up.

There’s some stuff happening outside of politics and Da Chipster reminds us.

We have landed on a comet. Earth has just recveived confirmation that we have, in fact, harpooned a comet. The lander needs to harpoon the comet just to hold on because the comet’s escape velocity is 20 inches/second, so one good electronic sneeze and the lander would be 10 football fields away in a blink.

And when I say “we” I mean “Earthlings.” No chanting U-S-A on this one because we cancelled funding on it, and by “we” I mean King George Bush I in his 1992 budget.

Anyhoo, in the immortal words of Vice President Joe Biden, this is a big fing deal.

You can listen to the comet here.  (The talking heads finally shuddup and let you listen.)

Science is very cool.

Republican State Senator Donna Campbell is about a quart low on estrogen.  She spends her days looking for people to hate.

You know, those “different” people who don’t quite fit into her Tupperware lifestyle model.

There’s a Republican woman here in my county named Terese who is obsessed with gay people.  I mean, not like Grace in Will and Grace.  This woman is sure as tootin’ that gay people are going to hell and she doesn’t mind telling you that.  Every.  Damn.  Day.  We are all pretty certain that her son is gay and pretending not to be because he doesn’t want to go to hell or upset a mother who hates him.  It’s sad in that “shut the hell up, woman” kind of way.

I think Donna Campbell is the same deal.  Now, cover your eyes if you you have a weak stomach because I am going to put a picture State Senator Donna Campbell gazing way too lovingly into Rick Santorum’s eyes.  Prepare yourself.  Okay, look right.

I know.  I know.  Even Santorum has to look away because it’s so gross.

So Donna Campbell has introduced a bill that says you can discriminate against someone if they violate your “sincerely held religious belief.”

Nobody seems to know what that means, especially when you add it to the whole language in the bill.

Campbell’s proposal would strengthen existing protections in Texas for the “right to act or refuse to act in a manner motivated by a sincerely held religious belief,” a legal maneuver that critics have described as a “license to discriminate.”

That whole “right to act” thing is kinda loosey goosey.  Obviously that does not include the right to act like a Christian.

I’m getting me a whole list of things that are my sincerely held religious beliefs.  This might be fun.

Before we start, I need to make it clear that there are certain groups of people who I don’t like.

Mainly, they are developers, political consultants, and big oil sumbitches.

Kinder Morgan is a giant Texas oil company.  They have decided that they need to triple the size of their Canadian pipeline.   Their lawyer, Bill Kaplan, worked himself into a downright tizzy last week when protestors took to social media to object.

This will not stand!

So, he goes to court and says ….

Mr. Kaplan had argued the defendants conspired against Kinder Morgan, employing social media and telephone networks to harm the oil company and pipeline builder Trans Mountain as they seek to nearly triple capacity by expanding a route under Burnaby Mountain.

He entered into evidence photographs of protesters wearing facial expressions he said demonstrate anger and violence.

“One of the things I will argue is that is not only intimidation, but that is actually an assault,” he said on Wednesday.

Making faces is assault.  Cool.  I’m packing my bags for Austin, Babe!

Okay, so here’s what I hear Mr. Kaplan saying:  Momma, he’s looking at me!

No, seriously, facial expressions are now assault.  How about really ugly people?  Can we just put them in jail for leaving their house?

Okay, my friend Elizabeth wants to know that if a Republican gives her a dirty face, can she stand her ground?

Thanks to Elizabeth for the heads up.

So there’s a charity formed in Houston called Helping a Hero.  Meredith Iler runs it.

Come to find out, it isn’t much of a charity.  There are numerous complaints from veterans who were bilked.  They were told that if they bought a lot of land, Helping a Hero would donate $100,000 toward a house and builders would contribute that much too.

West Point graduate Sam Brown was one of those wounded veterans.  He bought the land, he and his wife paid taxes on it for a year, and …..

Almost weekly, he pleaded with the charity for an update. He said all he got from Helping A Hero founder Meredith Iler were excuses.

“That was the theme, ‘Sam just bear with us, we don’t have everything lined up yet,'” Brown said, quoting Iler. “‘We are working on it, we are working diligently.'”

He finally sold the land and give up.

This happened over and over.  When the local tv station investigated, the found….

Veteran Eddie Wright of Conroe, Texas, recipient of the Bronze Star and Purple Heart, served on the board of Helping a Hero for six months. He said he quit after learning of how Meredith Iler was spending donation money, such as a $3,500 breakfast for advisory board members at the exclusive River Oaks Country Club in Houston.

Wright says he’s troubled by other expenditures, such as an unexplained $39,000 reimbursement to Iler and a $20,000 payment for anonymous speaker travel.

That does seem a little excessive for breakfast.  But what Wright found out next really floored him.

Wright later learned that speaker was former President George W. Bush, flying a private jet from Houston to Dallas in association with the charity’s 2012 annual fundraiser gala. What upsets him more, he says, is the fact that Iler paid Bush $100,000 to speak at the same gala.

“You are our leader. Why would you charge somebody $100,000 to raise money for men and women who are wounded fighting a war that you commanded us to go fight?” Wright said.

Is there going to be a time when George W. Bush isn’t making money off the misfortune of young American men and women fighting a war?

I thought I was as cynical as a human was biologically able to be.  But this takes the cake.  Is there a pit of hell deep enough for this man?

Oh yeah, there’s an investigation.

News 8 has confirmed that both the Texas attorney general’s and the Harris County district attorney’s offices are investigating complaints filed against Helping A Hero.

Yep, both Republicans.  That mean Bush will get a medal and the vets will get the screw.

Meredith Iler lives in Cypress.  Here is her Texas voting record.  The R’ s mean Republican.

Thanks to Sandy D for the heads up.