Libertarians believe that no government is the best government, the Easter Bunny, that fake hair looks really real, that traffic signals are an unwarranted police invasion of your rights, and that you can have your cake and eat it too.

Rand Paul wants it all, all, all.  Apparently he believes that he can run for every position on the ballot and chose between the ones he wins.

Kentucky law says he can’t run for both senate and President. He’s going to fight the constitutionality of that because what the taxpayers of Kentucky really, really need is (1) a man who cannot make up his mind, and (2) the expense of a special election.

“The basis of the lawsuit would be that the U.S. Constitution lists the qualifications for people to run for either U.S. House or Senate and they are either citizens of the United States, resident of the state, and for Senate 30 years of age,” University of Kentucky College of Law professor Josh Douglas told TPM. “So the argument here is that saying you can’t be a candidate for more than one federal office is an additional qualification so it violates the qualification clause of the U.S. Constitution.”

I have to tell y’all that I think a Rand Paul presidential run would be a blast.  You know how he made up his own qualifying board to be able to practice medicine in Kentucky?  Hell, if he doesn’t win the presidency, he could just make up his own country.

Well, even in the worst election years, there is always a silver lining.

This year, it’s State Senator Margaret Sitte of North Dakota.  She got defeated.  Sitte was the woman who opposed the bill that required a parent of caregiver to report a missing or dead child within 24 hours.  The bill was introduced after the Caylee Anthony trial.

Her reasoning for opposing it?

I affectionately call this bill the `Make Mary and Joseph Felons Bill` because Jesus was missing for three days.

Holy cow.  That there is a silver lining.

Thanks to Larry for the heads up.

Crazybutt Steve Stockman is under federal investigation.  Not for being wild-eyed crazy, mind you, but for all manner of stuff totally unrelated to being a crazybutt.

Retiring U.S. Rep. Steve Stockman and three of his Capitol Hill aides notified Congress on Wednesday that they have been subpoenaed by a federal grand jury in a criminal investigation.

Stockman, a Clear Lake Republican who this year lost a primary election for U.S. Senate, did not divulge the nature of the federal inquiry. He did not seek reelection to the House.

Since he’s a Republican you know it has to be about money and/or sex.   Since Stockman has neither, I would suspect we might be in for a fun ride on this one.

It seems he falsified payrolls and accepted illegal campaign contributions.  And that’s just the half of it.

But Stockman thinks he holds a Get Out Of Jail Free card.

Stockman’s mention of House rights and privileges could be a sign that he might invoke the Speech and Debate clause of the Constitution, which precludes members of Congress from being prosecuted for official legislative acts, said Brett Kappel, a Washington, D.C.-based attorney who specializes in campaign finance law and disclosure rules.

So accepting an illegal contribution is an official legislative act?  Note: this escape clause applies only to Republicans.

Thanks to everybody for the heads up.

Rick Perry is starting his Presidential tour.  He went to Dartmouth college and got punked.

The governor of Texas stopped by Dartmouth College, in Hanover, N.H., to discuss “border security, energy initiatives, and foreign policy,” according to student newspaper The Dartmouth, but some in attendance at the speech had a different idea.

The politician received a number of questions about homosexuality and sex during his appearance, such as “[do] you dislike bootysex because the peeny goes in where the poopy comes out?” and “would you have anal sex for $102 million?”

The questioner explained afterwards …

I asked Perry if he would have anal sex for $102 million, which is the amount of campaign contributions he received during his multiple runs for governor. As Packer explained, ‘This particular question occurred in the background of Perry’s moral opposition to anal sex (which we are criticizing), and was motivated by the fact that if Perry has any moral boundaries that have not been carefully selected by a team of campaign managers to appeal to specific constituencies, he has almost certainly had to violate those moral boundaries for campaign contributions.’ The power Perry has accumulated is large and threatening.

Good point.

Thanks to everybody for the heads up.

The Big Coloring Book Company chose Veteran’s Day to release Edition Two of Worship at The Feet of Ted Cruz.

No, Ted Cruz never served in the military.

Little known fact: he also cannot fly and looks unforgivably silly in tights.

No, this really is a thing.

They say it’s for children but I don’t believe that.  Ted’s face would frighten children.

Thanks to Brian C for the heads up.

There’s some stuff happening outside of politics and Da Chipster reminds us.

We have landed on a comet. Earth has just recveived confirmation that we have, in fact, harpooned a comet. The lander needs to harpoon the comet just to hold on because the comet’s escape velocity is 20 inches/second, so one good electronic sneeze and the lander would be 10 football fields away in a blink.

And when I say “we” I mean “Earthlings.” No chanting U-S-A on this one because we cancelled funding on it, and by “we” I mean King George Bush I in his 1992 budget.

Anyhoo, in the immortal words of Vice President Joe Biden, this is a big fing deal.

You can listen to the comet here.  (The talking heads finally shuddup and let you listen.)

Science is very cool.