The Woodlands,Texas, is just north of Houston and is one of the more conservative Bible-thumping areas of the state.

They just elected a new legislator by the name of Mark Keough who is the senior pastor of Woodlands Bible Church.  He has decided to deliver his legislative plans and updates from the pulpit.

No, I am not kidding.

The bills range from offering statewide victim-offender mediation for punishments to reduce recidivism, eliminating gun-free zones, such as schools and churches, as well as shutting down “sanctuary cities,” referring to municipalities that do not use local funds to enforce federal immigration laws.

So pretty much your standard God ‘N Guns kind of preacher/legislator.

But the fun is yet to come …

Keough, 61, said that ultimately winning the House District 15 seat is the most exciting time of his life. He called it a “divine appointment,” and criticized local high-profile churches for being silent on important social and political issues.

“We do believe that, as an extension of The Woodlands Bible Church, that this is almost as if it was a ministry as well,” Keough said. “I approached it from that perspective. It sounds crazy, because you ask, ‘where is the separation of church and state?’ You tell me. Where is separation of church and state? It’s not there.

I wonder who is proudest?  God or Thomas Jefferson.

I’m looking forward to the Woodlands Bible Church’s filling at the Texas Ethics Commission.

Thanks to Frank for the heads up.

Thanks to John …

I live in Texas Senate District 18.  My state senator, the ever-goofy Glenn Hegar, was elected comptroller of Texas earlier this month.

So, the Governor announces a special election to take Hegar’s place during the legislative session that starts in January.  SD 18 covers 21 counties along the Texas coastline.

On Friday, they announced that the filing deadline is this Wednesday.  And the election will take place on December 6th.

During this time, there has to be time for a mail ballot to be printed and certified, people over the age of 65 to request a ballot by mail, then for the county to mail the actual ballot to those people, then time for those people to mark their ballot and mail it back by December 6th.  You’re looking at three separate transit postal service times for a ballot during Thanksgiving season.  You also have to have time to allow a mail ballot for people who will be out of town on December 6th.

There has to be early voting, which requires set up times in each of those counties and election workers on December 6th in 21 counties.

By my count, there are 17 days between November 20th and December 6th, counting Thanksgiving and Sundays, 12 days not counting them.

If you’re thinking that Republicans have already picked their candidate and that they think voting is just a needless formality, you’re right.  They have picked State Rep. Lois Kolkhorst to advance to this seat and I’m sure they have someone already picked out for her old seat, too.

I don’t know this for a damn fact, but I suspect the election for her Republican certified replacement will be December 7th.

State Rep. Lois Kolkhorst is a doozy. She signed the court brief linking same-sex marriage to incest and pedophilia. The opposes abortion in any case. She supports school vouchers. Claims to have “Led the fight against Obamacare.”

Bottom line:  This is not an election.  This is a coronation.

I’m making a bet that Kolkhorst’s first speech on the Texas Senate floor will be that Democrats subvert democracy.   I’m also betting that I will throw up over the balcony.

Republican Monica Wehby in Oregon ran for Senate by campaigning against Obamacare.

She lost.  I’s Oregon.

So, and this is an absolute true story, the next day she …

called Democratic Gov. John Kitzhaber and inquired about the unfilled position of director of the Oregon Health Authority.

As The Oregonian put it, that position is “the state’s top official in charge of implementing Obamacare.” It cited “multiple sources” for its depiction of the call.

This event is brought to you by the letters W, T, and F.

The local newspaper reports that she answered their “Huh?” question by saying …

“Honestly, I’m looking at all sorts of options. I want to stay involved,” she said, stressing that health care shouldn’t be a partisan issue and that she hopes to help with health care reform in Oregon and nationwide.

Now I need to tell you something.  Her campaign slogan was – get ready for this – “Keep Your Doctor. Change Your Senator.”  Nope, that’s not making health care a partisan issue.  That’s threatening people with death.

Drop another coin the hypocrisy bank.

Thanks to Brian for the heads up.

I got my weekly email from Rick Perry reminding me that Rick Perry is still alive.

This one had some stuff in it.

(Click the little ones to see the big ones.)

 
Okay, but actually  “doing something” would be real different all by itself, ya know, Rick?

And then there’s this one —

Yeah, but the wisely do not say with who.  Oh sure, up against anybody over at the morgue he looks good.

Run, Rick.  Do it to me one more time, once is never enough with a man like you.

Okay, this happened.

Best I know, it is not a group of people trying to punk anybody.  This is an actual exorcism outside of a Starbuck’s coffee shop in Austin Texas.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xX8MqXyE6BI

Look, I’m expert about devils and they are not doing this right.  You need bongos, naked, and a Hook ‘Em Horns cap.  Then feed that child a Starbuck’s double chocolate chip frappuccino with a side shot of Jose Cuervo and those devils head straight for Waco.

Gosh, do I have to be everywhere?

Thanks to everybody for he heads up.