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In only lasts a minute.  You can stand anything for a minute.

Numero Uno:  Louie knows way too much about Greeks and massages.

Numero Two-o:  Holy mother of god on an olive.  Where did that come from?

Up until yesterday, I was blissfully unaware of who Kimberly Guilfoyle is.

This Kimberly person

I know that some of you watch Fox News to see what the other side is doing but not me.  I cannot bring myself to do that.  However, I do appreciate those of you who do so I can feel totally freaked out when somebody on Fox says something that is generally found only in the dark corners of hell or bad graffiti.

Discussing how women mature and become more conservative, which is nowhere on my truth meter because it only goes to -100 degrees, Kimberly suggested what young women can do with themselves come election day.

“The Five” co-host Kimberly Guilfoyle said Tuesday that young women should excuse themselves from voting in the upcoming midterm elections because they don’t share the same “life experience” as older women and should just go back to playing around on Tinder and Match.com.

“It’s the same reason why young women on juries are not a good idea,” Guilfoyle said. “They don’t get it!”

And young men do, of course, because they have a winkie.  The winkie is an amazing thing.  It makes you superior.  Just ask any woman who likes to stand on other women’s heads.

Thanks to everybody for the heads up.

Joni Ernst, running for the United States Senate in Iowa, is … okay, we’ll say colorful instead of spittle wacky.

She first campaigns on her ability to castrate pigs and now she’s just flat itchy to shoot someone.  Pretty much anyone.  But a government official would be best.

“I have a beautiful little Smith & Wesson, 9 millimeter, and it goes with me virtually everywhere,” Ernst said during a speech at the NRA’s Iowa Firearms Coalition Second Amendment Rally in Searsboro, Iowa, “But I do believe in the right to carry, and I believe in the right to defend myself and my family — whether it’s from an intruder, or whether it’s from the government, should they decide that my rights are no longer important.”

She’s gonna take on the entire United Damn States of America with a 9 millimeter?  Good luck with that Annie Oakley.

I swear to Memphis and back – these people drink Crazy Juice by the gallon.

Thanks to Claudia for the heads up.

Douglas MacKinnon, a former speechwriter for Presidents Reagan and Daddy Bush, has written a book.  He wants folks in the South to secede and form a new nation named …. wait for it … Reagan.  (Sorry about that Bush family.)

He told the religious conservative host that southern states – starting with Florida, Georgia, and South Carolina – should leave the United States so they can implement a right-wing Christian system of government.

Now some people would call that treason.  McKinnon calls it “the Christian thing to do.”  He says that it can be a peaceful secession because the South had a peaceful secession before President Lincoln initiated “an illegal war.”

Now, in case you’re wondering, he doesn’t say what status black people will have in Reagan.  But, if you’re gay and / or Hispanic, you can kiss your house goodbye.  You’re outta here.

Now let this sink in.

But he made clear that LGBT people would be second-class citizens – or worse – saying that advances in their rights as citizens was a major factor in his call to break up the United States.

“If you do believe in traditional values, if you are a Christian, if you are evangelical, if you do believe in the golden rule, then you’re seeing all of this unravel before our eyes daily,” he complained.

Wait wait wait just a damn minute.  Did he say The Golden Rule?  Which Golden Rule?  The one that say “He who has the gold makes the rules?”  The Golden Rule doesn’t say, “Do until heterosexuals as you would have heterosexuals do unto you.”

He does know that Christians do not own the Golden Rule, right?

And where does Texas fit in?

MacKinnon envisions other states joining, but he hopes to leave out Texas because “there have been a number of incursions into Texas and other places from some of the folks in Mexico.”

Yeah, those Hispanics just screw up the gene pool.

It should come as no shock to you that MacKinnon is an old white guy.

Alaska’s only congressman, Republican Don Young, continues down the steep slide to total wackiness.

First, he tells his Democratic opponent not to touch him because the last man who touched him “ended up on the ground dead.”

Then he goes to talk to the student body at Wasilla High School.  When asked about marriage equality, Young began a wild and wooly explanation about bull sex with a little profanity thrown in.  We think maybe he meant bullcrap because the students in Wasilla are accustomed to that.

Then he goes off on blaming the students for a classmate’s suicide.

Alaska:  The State Where Sarah Palin Is The Sane One.

Thanks to Claudia for the heads up.