Voter fraud!  It’s everywhere!  Just ask any Republican.

I think I’ve told you the story of the only voter fraud I’ve ever witnessed was a while back when a Republican candidate was voting African Americans in the Republican primary with mail ballots right here in my county.

Then there was Bruce Fleming – a local Republican county commissioner who 2 years ago voted in two states in the same election.

Well, hello, Florida.  After a two year investigation …

Four people, including William T. Hazard of Boynton Beach, wound up getting charged over allegations of submitting false voter registration forms. State investigators looked at questionable forms submitted in seven counties, including instances where voters had their party affiliation switched from Democrat to Republican.

Yep, it was a Republican.

Thanks to Sandy for the heads up.

I guess my favorite Jesus Showing Up story is in Wild Peach, Texas, where Jesus appeared on the laundry room floor.

But, mostly Jesus shows up on food.

I have never had the honor of meeting The Food Jesus.

Okay, okay, maybe I have and just don’t know it because I have never seen a photo of Jesus.  So there’s that.

Up in Michigan, the St. Andre Bessette Church Festival was bless with Jesus on a pierogi.  Chairman of the festival, Robert Hellar, tells the story ….

“I was in the taco booth making taco’s, and they came up to me and said ‘Jesus love polish food more than Mexican food’ and I asked why,” Heller said.

That’s when he saw the pierogi.

“I was shocked. I looked at it, and you can definitely see the face of Jesus,” Heller said.

That is shocking.  Really shocking.  They have tacos in Michigan?

I don’t want to rain on anybody’s parade but I think it looks like the love child of Charles Manson and Frank Zappa.

The church is currently keeping it in the freezer.  Which, to me, seems like a mean thing to do to Jesus.

You know how I have to ask God’s forgiveness every day for hating Republicans?

Yeah, but now I have an excuse.  They stink.

In a study recently published in the American Journal of Political Science, lead investigator Rose McDermott, Ph.D., of Brown University, found that adults were more likely to be attracted to the body odors of people who had similar political beliefs and repelled by the body odors of those with opposing ideologies.

Since I smell really good, that must mean Republican do not.  And, come to think of it, most of them do smell like they’ve got a week old pound of crawfish in their back pocket and a goat under each arm.  Or at their politics do.

Thanks to Scott for the heads up.

Politichicks – a very conservative website run by young Republican women who are oh so fond of Glamour Shots and airbrushing, have taken on an impossible task.

Seriously.

First, they set out the criteria to be “hot.”

#1. Intelligence. These guys are brilliant.

#2. Courage. They aren’t afraid to stand up to challenges, speak the truth and fight for our country

#3: Passion (See above)

#4: Sense of humor. They never let the haters get them down–they just keep doing what they do, with their sense of self and sense of humor intact.

#5: Looks. This can be either conventionally handsome or someone who simply exudes sexiness.

Please keep in mind that they did say the sexy word.

Apparently, there are so many hot, hot, hot Republican men that it had to be divided into categories.

Get a load of this one …

Didn’t you just throw up in your mouth a little bit?

Oddly, the three Texas men on the list are my favorites, too.

Thanks to Irene and John for the heads up.

The Los Angeles Unified School District is now the proud owner of:

61 M16 assault rifles
three grenade launchers and
a mine-resistant protective vehicle

Yes, the school police are ready for WWIII.

Republicans are determined to kill public education one way or the other.

My favorite comment on this story is this one —

In more dangerous times, do we need school police armed with semiautomatics? YES. It’s a sign o’ the times. The LAUSD sends a message that they are ready to quickly and efficiently deal with child murdering crazies and thug gang bangers that are just as armed.

First off, people who shoot up schools are on a suicide mission.  They might think it’s fun to go out with a rather large bang.

Second off, ARE YOU FREEKIN’ CRAZY?

Thanks to Deb for the heads up.

Giving the excuse that the customer called in a pizza order right at closing time, an 18 year old boy in Georgetown, Texas, got caught doing the unthinkable.

A Georgetown man is facing charges after a customer caught him rubbing his genitals on a pizza at a take and bake pizza store.

According to court records, Austin Michael Symonds is facing a charge of tampering with consumer product after the customer says he saw Symonds rubbing his scrotum on his family sized stuffed pizza with Canadian bacon, pineapple and extra cheese at the Papa Murphy’s on Williams Drive in Georgetown.

The customer told police he confronted Symonds, who apologized saying, “Man, I am really sorry, that was stupid.” The customer demanded to know Symonds’ age.

“Eighteen,” he replied.

“So you are old enough to know better than to put your balls on someone’s pizza,” the customer said. “Yes.” Symonds replied.

Yeah, that extra cheese and pineapple is really irresistible.

For the rest of his life, when people Google his name ….

(Keep the comments as clean as possible.)