Ted Nugent.  Honey, you could not clean him up with a Brillo Pad.

Before I show you his latest doctoral thesis, I want to remind you that Ted Nugent is the campaign treasurer for Sid Miller, the festering piece of ignorant goofy running for agriculture commissioner in Texas.  Miller is creepy.

But, that’s not all.  Ted Nugent, who admits to sex with underaged girls, says he is a “blood brother” to Greg Abbott.

In a joint campaign appearance Tuesday at Mexican restaurant in Denton, it was Nugent who referred to Abbott as his “blood brother,” and not the other way around.

Abbott called Nugent “a fighter for freedom in this country.”

Oh yeah, let’s compare Ted Nugent to Nelson Mandela and Mahatma Gandhi.  Yeah, that works.

Why stop there? Give the man a book and call him Einstein.  Give him some scissors and call him Coco Chanel.  Give him a spoon and call him Julia Child.  I don’t give a damn.  You still couldn’t clean him up with a double geared diesel fueled power washer.

So, now we get to Nugent’s plans on how to commemorate 911.  Prepare yourself.   This come straight from his Facebook Page.

Holy venison chili, what the hell is wrong with that man? “Killemall”?  Really?  Is Greg Abbott going to appoint Nugent Texas Secretary of State if he gets to be Governor? Seriously, y’all, we have one.  The current one is the wife of raging homophobia and confederate flag lover Michael Berry.  I mean, nobody would be shocked if the next one is Ted Nugent.

Do not go outside on 911.  I’m going to try to infiltrate and find out what The Mark of the Nugent is so we can put it on our front doors.  I’m far more scared of Ted Nugent and his 8,588 shares than I am of anybody else.

You could not clean him up with a nuclear Dyson vacuum cleaner and a carton of Swiffers.

Who would’ve thunk it?

Obamacare is working and now Republicans aren’t so anxious to can it.

The shift has been crystallized in contentious Senate races this fall. Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-KY) recently signaled that Kentuckians benefiting from the state’s Obamacare exchange and Medicaid expansion should be able to keep their coverage. Senate GOP candidates Joni Ernst of Iowa, Tom Cotton of Arkansas, Scott Brown of New Hampshire and Terri Lynn Land of Michigan have all refused to call for rolling back Medicaid expansion in their states. The number of television ads attacking the law have plummeted in key battleground states since April, and now even vulnerable Democratic Sen. Mark Pryor of Arkansas is touting his vote for protecting Americans with preexisting conditions under Obamacare.

However, down here in Texas, Obamacare is the worst thing to happen since Elvis died.  Our conservatives have leaky thinking and they’d rather die in pain – or better yet, watch you die in pain – than admit that Obamacare might be handy in a life and death situation.

It’s the Republicans worse nightmare. They have given President Obama a legacy.  Just think if they had called Medicare “Johnsoncare.”  Lyndon would be a lot more popular now.

Like a little yelping puppy, every now and then Tom DeLay gets up on his hind legs and pitches a fit. It’s funny the first few times and then it gets to be really irritating.

By the way, a local Republican told me last week that Tom had been “exonerated” of all charges. I almost slapped him. Y’all, there are just frontiers of ignorance out there. There’s unexplored territories of what stoopid shinola people will believe when they are told crap.

Tom DeLay has never been exonerated. A jury of his peers found him guilty. After the trial and during the sentencing phase, the judge said he agreed with the jury’s verdict. For a brief period a Texas court of appeals overturned Tom’s conviction. But that was appealed and oral arguments were this summer.  The case is still in legal purgatory. Tom was indicted in 2005 and since then he has paid high priced lawyers to keep his fluffy butt outta jail.

I just needed to say that.

Anyway, Tom yelped —

President Obama’s left-leaning political ideology combined with sympathies for Islam acquired from being raised by a Muslim stepfather paralyze him as he faces the threat posed by the Islamic jihadist group ISIS, former House Majority Leader Tom DeLay told WND in an interview.

“In defending America against radical Islamic terrorism, Barack Obama cannot be trusted,” DeLay said.

“Barack Obama was raised a Muslim, and he claims he is a Christian, and I can’t say for sure whether he’s a Christian or not, but he has shown over the last few years that he has great sympathies with Islam,” DeLay explained.

Oh Good Lord, Tom.  You have great sympathies with tent evangelists and snake oil salesmen.

I told you about the guy who was prancing around south Texas with guns and scared crap outta the border patrol?  The border patrol thought he as a bad guy, fired on him 4 times and missed all four times.   Our resident anonymous Republican Mr. Moderate, who is neither moderate nor near as anonymous as he thinks he is (more on that later), argued in the comments that this dude was perfectly within his rights and that border agents were wrong to shoot at him.

This guy and his well organized militia are camping out near the border in hopes of shooting some Mexicans.

Turns out that the guy is a convicted felon.  His name is John Frederick Forester and he’s had a few dust-ups with the law, having misdemeanor convictions for theft and trespassing and a felony conviction for burglary.

I also found this one where he plead guilty and paid a $350 fine for possession of a switchblade and brass knuckles.

Forester’s most recent scramble from justice are convictions in both Cameron and Fort Bend Counties for theft of property in 2009.

So, you’re wondering, how does Mr. Forester get to be a gun-toting militia member?

State law states a felon can’t use guns after a conviction and before the fifth anniversary of his or her release from prison. Federal law, though, prohibits felons from ever possessing firearms.

Hell, in Texas they give you a gun the day you get out of prison.  So Forester was in violation of federal statutes but not state statutes.  And if you’re trying to do the job of the border patrol, you just might want to think about federal statutes.

But get this:

The commander said the group is contemplating suing the federal government and the Cameron County Sheriff’s Department over the shots-fired incident.

Oh cool.  Can I be on that jury?  I wanna be on that jury.

Up the upside, the justice system in Cameron County already has Forester’s identifying information on file so there’s that time saver in the courts.

Goodness gracious!  You’ve got yourself a convicted felon who plead guilty to possessing illegal weapons and has some serious theft and trespassing problems.  The scary thing is that he’s probably the chaplain of his militia group!

And in other Militia News —

In Arizona militia members from Colorado came on ATV’s while wearing cammo and armed to the teeth —

Authorities say, apparently, a group of heavily-armed border militia members mistook conservationists researching bats for illegal immigrants or smugglers.

It happened Aug. 23 in the Gardner Canyon area near Sonoita where the small group of conservationists was out in the middle of the night conducting a wildlife population survey, in this case, counting bats.

Thankfully, no bats were harmed in this stunning dust-kicking display of LOW T.

Sheriff Estrada says Santa Cruz County does not welcome border militia groups.

“These people that are completely out of their environment. They really don’t know the area. They don’t know the terrain. They have little knowledge of the dynamics of the border. So it can be a real problem,” Estrada says. “We really don’t want them here.”

Me, too, Sheriff.  Me, too.

Honey, she’s tougher than a three dollar steak and, unlike her opponent, she has a complete lack of ignorance.

I flat love this woman.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nfJSeVnBTyU

Since the Department of Defense is offering low cost military equipment – or even for free – Texas jumps to the front of the wave and militarizes public schools.

Ten Texas school districts have received 64 M16 rifles, 18 M14 rifles, 25 automatic pistols, and magazines capable of holding 4,500 rounds of ammunition as well armored plating, tactical vests, and 15 surplus military vehicles.

Oh hell yes.  Let’s respond with M16’s if there’s a school shooter.  Hell, why not just use hand grenades?  Maybe we could get one of those drone things and just drop a bomb on the whole school.

Locally, Spring Branch ISD police received 10 automatic pistols and 13 rifles.

Police Chief Brawner says the rifles are available only for use by tactically-trained officers in an emergency. He says when not being used in training, the military weapons are locked in the department’s armory.

Armory?  Armory?  School districts have armories?  Hell, we don’t have enough money for textbooks but we have armories?  Governor Rick Perry cut $5 billion from Texas public education but left the armory money in place?

So there’s a school shooting.  You gotta go to the armory, find the key, unlock the weapons, find the ammo, load the weapons, get your tactical gear on, ask the Onstar lady for directions to the school, which, of course!, is all the way across town, and then figure out which very cool weapon to use.  And then let’s suppose that the shooter shows up in his fancy tactical gear and you can’t tell him from you and you kinda freak out because  it’s like you’re looking in a mirror.

Plus, can you even image what the insurance for 15 surplus military vehicles costs?  Remember back when Western Auto used to give you a free flashlight if you would buy the batteries?  Same deal here.  We’ll give you a free, free, free military vehicle to drive around but you gotta spend kid’s school money on upkeep.

Oh military industrial complex, can’t you find something else to make?

Thanks to Irene for the heads up.