Okay, our friends over at GOPUSA are always hawking something but this one makes me wonder — why would you need to take a fire starter on an airplane and sneak it past TSA?
Click the little one to get the big one.
If you click the button, here’s what you get.
These people scare me.
A Georgia Republican state senator is all up in arms about black people wanting to vote.
State Senator Fran Millar wrote an email to complain about voting times and locations in Georgia.
An angry state Sen. Fran Millar, R-Dunwoody, is promising to end Sunday balloting in DeKalb County when state lawmakers assemble in the Capitol next January.
Now we are to have Sunday voting at South DeKalb Mall just prior to the election. Per Jim Galloway of the AJC, this location is dominated by African American shoppers and it is near several large African American mega churches such as New Birth Missionary Baptist. Galloway also points out the Democratic Party thinks this is a wonderful idea – what a surprise.
By gawd, we do not need voting locations near African American people! It just encourages them to vote.
Now, if Fran hasn’t already stepped in a load of dog dump, he puts this on Facebook —
Dude, I’m a white woman and I hear what you’re saying. “More educated voters,” huh?
How about fewer cracker voters?
Jerk.
Oh, September has started off with a bang! (See what I did there?)
In the case of the worst backseat driver ever, a 20 year old Michigan man is lucky to be recovering after —
A 20-year-old Mount Clemens man collapsed in the parking lot of Mount Clemens High School on Monday morning after he was accidentally shot in the back by a backseat passenger in the car he was driving, according to police and school officials.
The victim told investigators he was driving a Pontiac Aztek on Orchard Street in Mount Clemens when an acquaintance who was in the back seat of the car accidentally discharged a handgun.
A Florida deputy sheriff shot up three people in a Wendy’s Restaurant with the help of his two year old son.
As stated in the report, the dad, Sgt. Matthew Magish, was standing in line inside the Wendy’s when the misfire occurred. Magish had a personal semiautomatic pistol inside the pocket of his pants that went off when, as he said in the report, his son “stuck his hand into his pocket looking for a snack.”
Yes, I always keep my gun in my snack pocket, too.
And in Kentucky, a man who was squirrel hunting found a squirrel. Turned out to be hisownself.
Shane Helvey, 33, Paducah, was flown to St. Mary’s Medical Center in Evansville after the accident, according to the Union County Sheriff’s Office.
While attempting to get across a fallen tree, Helvey accidentally discharged his .22-caliber rifle into his shoulder, authorities said.
Thanks for the entertainment, NRA!
Okay, okay, here’s the problem with having a legal “team.”
It never works properly. It is a collision of egos so monstrous that it makes time stand still.
Take, for example, Rick Perry’s legal team. Here’s a brief they filed to have Rick’s case dismissed by the court. I need to explain some things first.
First, having had a pretty good observation deck, I can assure you that lawyers throw paper at each other much like cavemen threw spears. I have no idea why they don’t just roll up papers and hit each other over the head with them, but they don’t. So, the client pays for the lawyer to throw paper. I can also assure you that some of those papers are dumber than bean dip.
Second, some of you have sent me this information asking if it is real or from The Onion. It’s real. (About half way down.)
Lawyers for Rick Perry invoked a former Roman emperor and 17th-century French King Louis XIV in a motion filed on Monday seeking to dismiss abuse-of-power felony charges leveled against the Texas governor.
Oh lookie, this lawyer’s undergrad degree is in history! Momma must have paid a lot of money for this —
“A Texas Governor is not Augustus traversing his realm with a portable mint and an imperial treasure in tow; he no more has custody or possession of the State’s general revenue funds than does any Texan. No governor can say of his or her state what the Sun King said of France: “L’etat c’est moi,” it said.
And he minored in French!
Okay, I’m not saying that this lawyer is overpaid but, oh hell, that’s exactly what I’m saying, who am I kidding?
It seems to me that if this writ twit had climbed down off his pompous spectacle of French and Roman history, he would realize that the exact point of the indictment is that if Perry truly was “L’etat c’est moi,” no one could prosecute him! But, because he’s not, he cannot threaten people’s livelihood to make them do what he wants.
Rick Perry was using my damn money to threaten a duly elected public official who had successfully fought and won a removal petition in a court of law.
Louie XIV
L’etat c’est moi, my patootie. Rick Perry can be prosecuted because he can be prosecuted. He is not Augustus or a member of the House of Bourbon. Although Louie the XIV also had great hair.
Maybe that’s how the lawyer got confused. After all, great hair is great hair.
Or should I say, bonne cheveux sont de bons cheveux.
Plus, you stupid sumbitch, everybody knows that Rick Perry is not Texas. Willie Nelson is Texas.
This crap is going to be fun.
Yeah, this happened.
A Macon man was treated at Coliseum Northside hospital Thursday after he accidentally shot himself in the penis.
The man was parked at the gas station at about 9:30 p.m. when he attempted to holster his .45. Immediately after the gun went off, he drove to a friend’s house in Lake Wildwood. When he got to the friends house, he took off his pants and saw that he had “shot himself in the penis and that the bullet exited out of his buttocks.” The spent round fell onto the floor.
Yes, if you ever shoot yourself in the penis, go to a friend’s house and show him before you go to the emergency room. I mean, you need witnesses to this, right? And while you’re at it, show him your hiney and that you can fart spent rounds.
This certainly makes the Fun With Guns Hall of Fame. We’re gonna retire this guy’s jersey. Famous last words, “Hey Jim Bob, watch what I can make come out of my butt!”
Thanks to everybody and Aunt Matilda for the heads up.
I just got a text that Ray Rice is no longer a football player. Not ten minutes later, I read that Fox News wasted no time in finding someone to blame for Rice’s criminal behavior —
Fox News host Andrea Tantaros wasted no time during Monday’s episode of “Outnumbered” directing anger at President Obama and the Democrats over a video reportedly showing NFL star Ray Rice punching his then-fiancee in an elevator.
“I wanna know, where is the President on this one?” Tantaros asked, after a brief throat-clearing about the NFL’s obligation to react to the tape.
What the hell? You know the flooding in Phoenix? What does the President say about that? Huh? He sure is being quiet about that, too.
I mean, Rice is black and the President is a Muslim Kenyan so that must know each other, right?
Crap.