Here’s the deal.

Rick Perry used an “Executive Order” – yeah, that horrible, evil, unAmerican thing President Obama uses – to deploy the Texas National Guard, who are military troops, to the border of Texas to fight hungry, pathetic children.

Here’s the deal.

The Texas National Guard can’t make arrests.  They cannot shoot anybody unless they are shot at first.  They can’t even detain anybody.  In short, they cannot do diddle squat unless war breaks out on the border or the folks in Louisiana start lobbing crawfish at Brownsville.

Perry says they will “be trained.”  For what?  Standing there looking tough?  Babysit?

The Texas National Guard: Hoping that a truckload of Darth Vaders will scare the little children.

Now here’s the other deal.

Rick Perry “hoped the federal government would eventually reimburse” Texas for the $12 million a month this is going to cost.  Oh yeah, you heard me right.  Perry will not take federal funds to cover the health of Texas children or working class families but, by gawd, he’ll beg for it if it’s for his Presidential aspirations.

Now here’s the cherry on the ice cream sundae deal.

Greg Abbott, the Texas Attorney General who is running against Wendy Davis, got his face on the teevee, too.

Abbott said he expects the federal government to reimburse the cost of the deployment — about $12 million per month, in addition to the $5 million monthly cost of the DPS officers. His office is prepared to sue the federal government if necessary to get the reimbursement, he said.

“Texans are prepared to put the boots on the ground,” Abbott said. “But we expect Washington to foot the bill.”

This is almost funny.  Abbott starts every speech by saying that he gets up every morning and sues the federal government, but sometimes he waits until he gets to the office.

So it doesn’t appear that anybody is shaking in their boots over Abbott threatening to sue the federal government.  Hell, if we had the money back from all the frivolous lawsuits he’s filed against President Obama, we could lower taxes by about 70%.

So, here’s the final deal.

Texas is send a bunch of impotent Darth Vaders to the border who can’t do anything and we’re going to pray that you people in foreign states will pay to help Rick Perry’s and Greg Abbott’s political posturing.

Sounds like a helluva deal to me.

My friend Charles reminds us that every time President Obama steps in front of a camera, the GOP calls it politics.  Hell, the border has now become a staged political convention.

Crap.

I’ve had some blue dog Democrats run for congress in my area and I tell them one thing:  when given a choice between a real Republican and a Democrat pretending to be a Republican, people will vote for the real thing every damn time.

If you’re a Democrat, be a damn Democrat.

I guess my voice doesn’t carry as well as I’d hoped.  Lookie here.

Jimmy Schmidt is running for the state senate in Michigan.  I hope he gets his butt handed to him on a silver platter covered in fireworks.

Jimmy, go join the GOP.  Hey, you’ve already got the misspelling down pat.

There’s something else to make you grin.  Click the Endorsements tab.  Oh dear Lord, he has a screen shot of environmental group he endorses.  Jimmy, Honey, that’s not how it works.

Thanks to Carl for the heads up.

Guys, I know this is Photoshopped but it could be real in Texas.  I swear it could.  Right, Texans?

Thanks to Marge for the heads up.

Sarah Palin is hearing voices again.  She’s just passing along a message …

God wants Obama to be impeached and God “does not drive parked cars.”  Y’all, seriously, I do not know where the whole “God does not drive parked cars” came from.  It’s pretty much my observation that God drives whatever God wants to, whenever God wants, to wherever God wants.

When you listen to this, help me out.  These new speech patterns she has, you know, with the very odd rhythm of unconnected phrases and random emphasis … is that a thing?

Yeah, I think it’s a thing.

Thanks to everybody for the heads up.

I think Rick Perry is preparing for Armageddon because he’s assembling his army.  News from the Texas Rio Grande Valley.

Texas Gov. Rick Perry plans to announce he will activate the Texas National Guard at a news conference Monday in Austin, said state Sen. Juan “Chuy” Hinojosa, D-McAllen.

Hinojosa did not have details of the effort, but an internal memo from another state official’s office said the governor planned to call about 1,000 Texas National Guard troops to the Rio Grande Valley — at a cost of about $12 million per month.

Yeah, he’s storming the beaches of the Rio Grande River with a military force he commands.  Since he’s using bullets against unarmed children, I suspect he’ll borrow Bush’s “Mission Accomplished” sign right before the Ohio primary.

There has already been a special surge of Department of Public Safety guards on the border, costing Texans $1.3 million per week.

And where is all the money coming from?  Rick has that all figured out.  Here ya go with a screen shot from my iPad last night.

Yeah, we don’t need no damn health care in Texas.  Roads?  Bridges?  Screw that.  Only wimps need roads and bridges.

I honestly fear for my Hispanic friends in the Valley, many of them with families who have been in Texas far longer than Rick Perry’s.

My conspiratorial friends think Rick is building an army for secession.  I don’t think so.  I think he just needs an excuse to ride boats up and down the river looking like George Patton or some damn thing.

Please give us Texas back.  I really, really don’t like being Ukraine.

Have you seen this?

Thanks to Frank for the heads up.