I’ve had some blue dog Democrats run for congress in my area and I tell them one thing:  when given a choice between a real Republican and a Democrat pretending to be a Republican, people will vote for the real thing every damn time.

If you’re a Democrat, be a damn Democrat.

I guess my voice doesn’t carry as well as I’d hoped.  Lookie here.

Jimmy Schmidt is running for the state senate in Michigan.  I hope he gets his butt handed to him on a silver platter covered in fireworks.

Jimmy, go join the GOP.  Hey, you’ve already got the misspelling down pat.

There’s something else to make you grin.  Click the Endorsements tab.  Oh dear Lord, he has a screen shot of environmental group he endorses.  Jimmy, Honey, that’s not how it works.

Thanks to Carl for the heads up.

Guys, I know this is Photoshopped but it could be real in Texas.  I swear it could.  Right, Texans?

Thanks to Marge for the heads up.

Sarah Palin is hearing voices again.  She’s just passing along a message …

God wants Obama to be impeached and God “does not drive parked cars.”  Y’all, seriously, I do not know where the whole “God does not drive parked cars” came from.  It’s pretty much my observation that God drives whatever God wants to, whenever God wants, to wherever God wants.

When you listen to this, help me out.  These new speech patterns she has, you know, with the very odd rhythm of unconnected phrases and random emphasis … is that a thing?

Yeah, I think it’s a thing.

Thanks to everybody for the heads up.

I think Rick Perry is preparing for Armageddon because he’s assembling his army.  News from the Texas Rio Grande Valley.

Texas Gov. Rick Perry plans to announce he will activate the Texas National Guard at a news conference Monday in Austin, said state Sen. Juan “Chuy” Hinojosa, D-McAllen.

Hinojosa did not have details of the effort, but an internal memo from another state official’s office said the governor planned to call about 1,000 Texas National Guard troops to the Rio Grande Valley — at a cost of about $12 million per month.

Yeah, he’s storming the beaches of the Rio Grande River with a military force he commands.  Since he’s using bullets against unarmed children, I suspect he’ll borrow Bush’s “Mission Accomplished” sign right before the Ohio primary.

There has already been a special surge of Department of Public Safety guards on the border, costing Texans $1.3 million per week.

And where is all the money coming from?  Rick has that all figured out.  Here ya go with a screen shot from my iPad last night.

Yeah, we don’t need no damn health care in Texas.  Roads?  Bridges?  Screw that.  Only wimps need roads and bridges.

I honestly fear for my Hispanic friends in the Valley, many of them with families who have been in Texas far longer than Rick Perry’s.

My conspiratorial friends think Rick is building an army for secession.  I don’t think so.  I think he just needs an excuse to ride boats up and down the river looking like George Patton or some damn thing.

Please give us Texas back.  I really, really don’t like being Ukraine.

Have you seen this?

Thanks to Frank for the heads up.

Tampa Bay.

A deputy’s gun fired accidentally in a restroom at Tampa Bay Downs Friday, the Hillsborough County Sheriff’s Office said.

The deputy was working an off-duty job at Tampa Bay Downs Friday around 3:30 p.m. Authorities said he went into the restroom and his gun went off after he removed his gun belt to set it down. No one else was in the restroom at the time, and no one was injured, officials said.

However, three urinals and the soap machine confessed to major crimes.

Thanks to Brian for the heads up.