I don’t have time to write about this right now, but, Darlin’, this is going to be a great story.

Two Republican Attorneys General have been arrested.  The learned nothing from Jack Abramoff.

A Michigan woman shot herself in the face.  With a damn shotgun.  Sounds impossible, doesn’t it?

Imagine you’re a police officer …

Upon arrival, deputies found that a family dispute had taken place and the victim, a 51-year-old woman, told officers that she had taken a shotgun out to “make a point.”

She told police she slammed the butt end on the floor, the gun discharged, and she was shot in the face.

I think she made her point. Don’t be jacking around with a shotgun.

It was 10:00 am on a Monday.  Helluva way to start the week.

Thanks to Irene for the heads up.

I have an absolute true story for you from Glen Maxey.

I see some of you rolling your eyes already but Glen provided me with documented proof so this time the story really is true. (I just say stuff like that to bother Glen.  It’s like, I dunno, my job to bother Glen.)

It’s Glen job to help Democrats.  So here’s his story in his own words.

In Texas, volunteers can be deputized to register voters. A Deputy Voter Registrar can assist a voter to fill out a voter registration application which is standardized for all counties across Texas. When they accept the card, the law requires the deputy to give the voter a receipt. This receipt is the proof that the voter registered to vote and did it outside the thirty day period before an election. If the volunteer loses the application or did something bad like tossing it in the trash because he didn’t like the persuasion of the potential voter, the newly registered voter has proof that they registered and did it in time.

Texas, being a state which places a high premium of “local control” and because it’s cheap, leaves the design, development and procurement of these receipts up to local voter officials, county by county.

Just to see what uniformity there was in receipts the Texas Democratic Party asked our interns out in rural counties to get a copy of the receipts used. Just to make sure they were giving voters correct information. Like somewhere near what the law requires.

Most are pretty good and do their job. One county states on theirs “this may not be used to vote” which is totally opposite of the function and rationale of the receipt.

Then there is this one from Van Zandt County, population 52,000, where Barack Obama got 19% of the vote.

Seriously, that’s their receipt for your voter registration.

Hell, it’s a damn receipt.  Whaddya want?  Something official?  You can’t just go down to the hardware store and buy these suckers, ya know.  You gotta drive all the over to Canton to the office supply store.

It’s a damn receipt.  And think of it this way, if a poll tax ever comes back, they are that much ahead of the game.

Arizona this time.  Your congressional district is next.

Andrew Walter, a Republican candidate in the state’s 9th congressional district, is slated to host an “Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms” fundraiser Friday at the Scottsdale Gun Club in Scottsdale, Ariz. Guests can choose to donate at three levels, from a $1,000 “expert” ticket that buys access to four weapons plus 250 rounds of ammunition to a $250 “marksman” ticket that buys the chance to shoot a Glock 18 with a single box of ammo.

Walter’s campaign manager, Chris Tolino, told USA Today that alcohol and cigars will be provided at a nearby restaurant, not at the range, once the shooting is over. Donor response to the event had been positive so far, Tolino said.

Isn’t that just adorable?  See what he did there? Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms?  Not room enough for brains, common sense, and  holy-crap-they-can-drink-before-they-go-to-the-firing-range-you-fool.

That’s what’s wrong with America – not enough alcohol, tobacco, and firearms.  Let’s step it up, guys!

Thanks to Brian for the heads up.

Texas is in trial over our redistricting maps and things aren’t exactly going our way.  The Feds are saying that we deliberately discriminated against minorities in our Republican-controlled redistricting maps.  And we have emails to prove it.

Republicans answer?  “We can’t help it.”

No, really.  That was their answer.

The U.S. Justice Department told judges Monday that Texas lawmakers carefully crafted electoral maps marginalizing minority voters despite the state’s exploding Hispanic population in a deliberate effort to racially discriminate and protect conservative incumbents.

Attorneys for Texas countered that the Legislature did the best it could, given that it had to devise maps partisan enough to pass the Republican majority, while dismissing suggestions of intentional discrimination.

That was their answer.  The HAD to draw partisan maps.  Texas Republicans are too partisan to expect them to be fair.  See?

And Texas Attorney General Greg Abbott thought he had a snappy legal argument:

Yeah, well, that seems fair.  One party takes power and then uses that power to keep power.   So they can rule forever!

Good Lord, this man wants to be Governor.  Well, it’s hard for Texas to do downhill in that department.

Since the Supremes have validated religion over reality in the workplace, it appears to me that religious people are testing the waters.

And of course, what’s religion without Pat Robertson?  He has become a medical expert, too.

Televangelist Pat Robertson advised a mother on Monday that she could cure her son’s stomach pains by finding someone to cast out demons that were possibly caused by an ancestor who practiced witchcraft.

Oh yeah, tummy aches are caused by Great Aunt Bessy Mae’s tarot cards.  Because God is like that.  Just damn mean.

Robertson prescribes “spiritual warfare.”  Which is a helluva lot cheaper than health care.  He does warn the woman not to be taken in by “charlatans” in the area of spiritual warfare, which seems rather self-defeating for Robertson.

I am sure that is Robertson’s “sincerely held religious belief,” so look out health coverage at The 700 Club.