Just when you thought Louie Gohmert and Rick Perry were hogging all the stoopid in Texas …

From the Twitter machine ….

Holy crap, Senator, just go ahead and say the N word.  You’ll feel better.

Thanks to Monty for the heads up.

The folks of the Idaho Republican Party thought that the government shutdown was swanky and smooth.  They wanted to shut down something, too.

They picked themselves.

No, seriously, the Idaho Republican Party shut themselves down at their state convention.  They spent three days in Boise and accomplished nothing.  Okay, so accomplishing nothing is a byproduct of Republicanism, but this one was a real doozie.

Rep. Raul Labrador (R-Idaho), the convention chairman, ended up bringing the meeting to an end before delegates could elect a new state party chair or vote on any party platform amendments, as they had set out to do.

“This is as low as the party can go,” said Labrador, according to the AP. “We have hit bottom. I think the party has no choice but to go up from here.”

The turmoil doesn’t bode well for Labrador, who announced his intent to run for House majority leader last week.

Hell, getting everybody to fight with each other so nothing gets done puts him the the damn lead for Cantor’s job.

Republicans:  putting a halt to humanity!

Thanks to Sharon for the heads up.

The bad news about the Thad Cochran / Chris McDaniel senate race in Mississippi is that one of them is going to win.

The good news is that the election isn’t until June 24th so we get some more free entertainment until then.

First, Cochran told the worst kept secret in Mississippi.

“It was fun, it was an adventure to be out there in the country and to see what goes on,” he said of his boyhood visits to Hattiesburg. “Picking up pecans, from that to all kinds of indecent things with animals.”

The audience chuckled.

“And I know some of you know what that is,” Cochran said.

Mississippi:  where men are men, girls are girls, and sheep are scared.

Well, I imagine that he’s going to be met with lots of “baaaaa” sounds in the halls of congress now, so he went on the attack.  Cochran is making sure that his opponent, McDaniel, a radio talk show host, has some ‘splainin’ to do to the Steeple People.

I can almost promise you that this ain’t the end of the dirty talk.  It ain’t considered a good Republican race in Mississippi unless everybody is feeling a little frisky by election day.

I am slightly embarrassed to admit how much I enjoy watching Republicans get beat by their own.  Family squabbles are vicious because family members know what buttons to push.

The first stage of Republican primary defeat is smiling acceptance.  That lasts as long as the teevee cameras are filming on election night.  “I got beat.  It’s okay.  Now we have to all come together.”

The next morning, blame sets in.  “How could this have happened? It couldn’t have been me because I’m wonderful and I know I’m wonderful because Fox News says I am.  I need to fire my campaign staff.”

That lasts for a joyful hissy fit of about 15 minutes.

The third stage is bitterness.  As well as the fourth, fifth, and sixth stages.

Representative Eric Cantor of Virginia, the House majority leader, said Sunday that he saw a troublesome division within the Republican Party, as he discussed his stunning primary defeat, which many are assessing for possible evidence that the Tea Party is regaining steam among Republicans.

Though Mr. Cantor said in a separate interview, on CNN’s “State of the Union,” that the party’s internal struggles “pale in comparison” to its differences with Democrats, he said Republicans need to resolve their party’s own clash.

Of course, for Mr. Cantor, there was no clash until he was defeated and then it suddenly became a chasm.

He will become my favorite Republican character – Mr. Bitter.  For that, I thank the idiot who beat him.  And, Lord have mercy, that I have a feeling that Dave Brat is Sarah Palin without the brains.

Glenn Beck went rogue from reality on his “show” on the electric radio and said something that might be a good cover story.

On his radio broadcast today, Glenn Beck warned that too many crises are piling up all at the same time which will cause the press to finally turn on President Obama. That, in turn, will cause Obama to finally snap and start rounding up conservatives and putting them into camps.

I could go with the whole camps idea thing but, you know, not in my neighborhood.

And if anybody would know something about snapping …

I mean, I’d be willing to let them sit around and make moccasins and have a campfire with marshmallows and it’d be a boatload of fun.  We just have to not let them leave.

The story goes like this. It’s Florida.

Two guys come home from the grocery store and see a third guy standing in the front yard of one of their houses, urinating.  They tell him not to do that because there are children in the house.  Plus, they probably already fertilized the lawn this year.

So, the peeing guy take offense at being told where the hell he can pee so he pulls a gun and …

Thankfully, everybody is going to live but the homeowner, while attempting to run away, was shot three times in the torso.  The gun finally misfired and the other guy didn’t get shot. The peeing guy runs away but is caught later.

The NRA issued a Pee On Your Ground defense of the shooter.  Okay, I made that up that part but I had ya for a minute there, didn’t I?

I am proud to live in America, where people have a second amendment right to pee on my lawn and then get pissy about it.

Thanks to AlanInAustin for the heads up.