I guess this is bad news in Macon, Georgia.

An unnamed man went to get some gas one evening, and got a medical procedure instead.

The man was parked at the gas station at about 9:30 p.m. when he attempted to holster his .45. Immediately after the gun went off, he drove to a friend’s house in Lake Wildwood. When he got to the friends house, he took off his pants and saw that he had “shot himself in the penis and that the bullet exited out of his buttocks.” The spent round fell onto the floor.

Hummm … so that’s where the term crapping bullets came from.

The good news?  He”s not alone.  We are told that five American men have shot off their own winkies since 2010.  In Georgia, that’s not near enough.

Just sayin’.

Thanks to everybody for the heads up.

Maybe it’s just me, but it seems that WalMart is the Ground Zero of gun accidents, which is another reason not to go to WalMart.

It’s Indiana.

A Dale man was arrested by Jasper police Sunday morning when the handgun he was carrying in a front pocket discharged while he was inside the Jasper WalMart store.

JPD says 65-year old Kenneth Pirtle told them he placed his hand into his pocket to retrieve and article when the .40 caliber handgun discharged. Police say the discharged bullet exited Mr. Pirtle’s pant leg, struck the vinyl/concrete floor and then richocheted up and lodged into a nearby wall.

Police later determined that other articles in Mr. Pirtle’s pocket with the gun might have played a factor in the handgun accidentally discharging.

What other articles?  His copy of the Constitution or the Collected Works of William Shakespeare?  My bet – it was beer bottle opener, a large pocketknife, a pen he stole from Social Security office, and sixty seven cents in change.

Wouldn’t you know it, dammit.  The day that I am busier than a jackrabbit chasing four different coyotes, the Texas Republican Party finally decides to release their platform,

If any of you guys have time, read it and underline to good parts for us.  Well, I guess that wouldn’t work.  Cut and paste the good parts here, or if it’s too long, just tell us what it says.

And for me, please send any parts that will negatively impact disabled people because I’m drafting that plank on the Democratic platform.

Here ya go!  Return of the Bizarre People.

Okay, at what point can President Barack Obama file stalking charges against Dick Cheney and his Loser/Quitter Sidekick Liz?  I’m thinking now.

Here’s a President who is termed-out in two years but Dick and Liz have formed a money making PAC to bash the President’s foreign policy because, you know, those two have such respected foreign policy skills.

The Cheneys posted a video to YouTube about The Alliance for a Strong America, a 501(c)(4) grass-roots organization, on Tuesday. The video’s description hits “the dangerous policies of the Obama Administration” and promises to keep “policies necessary to protect the nation” in the spotlight.

“The policies of the last six years have left America diminished and weakened,” Dick Cheney says in a video introducing the group.

Liz Cheney says the two formed the group “because we know America’s security depends upon our ability to reverse President Obama’s policies.”

Oddly, Liz Cheney’s philosophy is obviously, “when you’re losing, you retreat and run away but not without trashing your sister first.”

Seems like a great foreign policy plan to me.

Here is a man who was wrong about everything — we would be welcomed with open arms, the insurgency is in its last throes, the war would pay for itself with all the oil we would get, we don’t need to raise taxes, go shopping, go to hell.

And that’s why they call him Dick.

Shuddup.

Thanks to Deb for the heads up.

It’s the Texas-based GOPUSA again, y’all.

They departed from selling verbal paranoia long enough to sell you a $10,000 precision guided firearm that can hit a moving target 1,000 yards away, especially wolves.  Hell, Bubba, you can hit things you can’t even see!

Click the little one to read the big one.

Republicans have a great marketing tool.  First they scare you up real good about that Obama guy and how Hillary Clinton has reeducation camps already planned and then they sell you  gun with a camera and wifi on it to make your kill public in real time.

If you dare —

Republicans:  We can blow crap up!

Shortly after comparing gays to alcoholism, Texas Governor Rick Perry met with a Jewish reporter at a deli in Beverly Hills, California.  Bad crap happened.

For staters:

Perry took a moment to appreciate his surroundings. “I’m more Jewish than you think I am,” he told me. “I read the part of the Bible that said the Jews are God’s chosen people.”

Well, dude, God did not chose you in the Republican Presidential debates.

Perry told me that he loves California, vacations in San Diego annually, visits the state about six times a year and might even move here in January when he’s done with his 14-year stint running Texas. That is, if he does not somehow decide to run for president.

Rick, Babe, me and about 300 of my friends are headed to Austin to help you pack up the moving van.

“When I step out of my current job,” Perry said, “and I have 15 or 20 productive years left in my body, I want to be able to have as in-depth an understanding about this world as possible.”

Productive years?  Son, you’ve never had productive years.  You vetoed the equal pay bill.  You’ve had futile years.  Take a lesson from Dubya, go learn to paint pictures of cats and bathtubs.

Thanks to Melissa for the heads up.