Okay, here’s the story —

INDIANAPOLIS, Ind. (21Alive) — An Indianapolis man was taken to the hospital Monday night after he shot himself while trying to conceal a gun during a traffic stop, according to Police.
WTHR reports, 22-year-old Paden Moody was a passenger in a vehicle traveling on 38th street in Indianapolis, when he shot himself in the foot during a traffic stop. Moody, who is not licensed to carry a handgun, was trying to hide the gun in his pants when he accidentally fired the gun.

I guess he should thank small, small blessings that it didn’t hit anything on the way down.

Thanks to PK for the heads up.

Tom DeLay lives within spitting distance of me, an opportunity I take advantage of as often as I can.

So Ole Tom, whose felony charge is currently under review and not dismissed like he’s telling people, isn’t getting a lot of calls from people who seek his advice.  And he’s run so many scams and ripoffs since he left Congress that local waiters ask for their tip upfront.

So, he’s latched on to Cliven Bundy.  DeLay says that Cliven Bundy is standing up for the rule of law.

“He doesn’t owe the federal government anything because he doesn’t recognize that the federal government can come take his livelihood away from him and he’s standing up for the rule of law, the real law, the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution, and fighting against what is happening to him,” DeLay said.

I want to say something here.  The land that Cliven Bundy is illegally using is my land.  It belongs to me and it belongs to you.  You can’t go claim the Grand Canyon as your own just because it’s a national park and you don’t recognize the federal government.  You may also not recognize the sun, but it’s still gonna shine on you.

So, let’s say I decide not to recognize state property laws because I don’t recognize Texas as long as Governor Duh is there.  If Tom says it’s okay for Cliven to take my land, then it must be okay for me to take Tom’s land.  Right?

Actual picture of Cowboy Tom and The Mrs.

So, I’ll be commencing to grazing my donkey, who is appropriately named Donkey Oatie (say it fast out loud) on the lawn of Tom’s swankienda in Sweetwater.  And since Tom is currently a convicted felon and cannot legally carry a firearm in Texas, I guess I can defend myself with a slingshot and a can of Aqua Net Hair Spray.

And if the grazing goes over as well as I suspect, Tom could make some money dancin’ on his front lawn … with the stars.

Thanks to Don A. for the heads up.

Okay, you’ve all probably heard of the goblin shark, the horrid sea monster caught off the coast of Florida.  I can’t put a picture of it here or Verdelia would start screaming and jump up on the manicure table in hysterics.

Okay, small picture but stay out of Verdelia’s way.

Well, the British picked up on this story and The Guardian printed it.

The first reader comment after the story?

Seriously.  Go look.

Thanks to Tina for the heads up.

You probably won’t be surprised to learn that Texas Governor Rick has joined the ranks of Sheldon Adelson’s 72 virgins.

Perry wants to be President.  Adelson wants to stop internet gambling so his casinos can grow.

A match made in heaven, I say!

Casino magnate Sheldon Adelson, waging a new campaign to ban Internet gambling, is deploying a state-level political network he has been quietly developing over the past few years.

Florida’s Rick Scott has already been bought and paid for.

The same phrasing used in Scott’s letter had appeared word for word in letters signed a few weeks earlier by two other Republican governors, Nikki Haley of South Carolina and Rick Perry of Texas.

We already have convince store gambling in Texas with the lottery and you can even buy your scratch-off tickets out of vending machines, so Rick can’t be opposed to gambling.  Personally, I think that Rick has arrange a deal that every time a cowboy says, “Betcha I can lasso that calf,” Sheldon Adelson gets a dollar.

And when Sheldon asked Rick his name, Rick replied, “What do you want my name to be?”

Thanks to Alfredo over at the Dairy Queen for the heads up.

The runoff between Dan Patrick and David Dewhurst for the GOP nomination for Lt. Governor just turned the corner in OhDearGodVille.

David Dewhust just released this.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPzz60a7As8

The election is May 27th so we’ve got plenty of time for competing song-offs.

The You Tube appears to be in response to a debate the candidates had this morning in Dallas.

In the most contentious matchup yet in what has become an increasingly vicious Republican runoff for lieutenant governor, Dan Patrick and incumbent David Dewhurst hurled personal attacks against each in Dallas on Wednesday.

These boy are just skinning the pig so Leticia Van De Putte can barbecue it.

Sometimes people are so weird that it stands out.  In a day and age where it’s hard to tell satire from reality, Chris Sevier, a writ twit in Tennessee, glows in the weirdness darkness.

Last year, Chris sued Apple for not putting a porn blocker on his computer, which caused him to watch porn, and destroyed his marriage.  Chris contends that porn is addictive.  I did not know that.  I have scientific evidence that sex is addictive, but porn, I dunno.

This year, Chris moved to Florida where he has sued A&E for taking Phil Robertson off teevee.  He was also arrested for stalking country music star John Rich.

Now he has filed …

…a motion to intervene on the Florida gay marriage case on behalf of “other minority sexual orientation groups.” In the 24-page document, Sevier says that if gay couples “have the right to marry their object of sexual desire, even if they lack corresponding sexual parts, then I should have the right to marry my preferred sexual object.” Which is? “My porn filled Apple computer,” according to Sevier’s filing.

His computer is more sexually attractive to him than women.

Speaking for women everywhere, “Thank you, God.”

Thanks to John for the heads up.