The Texas Republican Party has up and decide that the Log Cabin Republicans (gay Republicans) cannot have a booth at the Texas Republican state convention.  The reason for this seemingly idiotic and mean decision appears to be, “They have cooties.”

Apparently there is something in the Texas GOP platform that allows them to be pretty damn mean to gay people.

“We affirm that the practice of homosexuality tears at the fabric of society and contributes to the breakdown of the family unit. Homosexual behavior is contrary to the fundamental, unchanging truths that have been ordained by God, recognized by our country’s founders, and shared by the majority of Texans.

So, the Texas Democratic Party has offered them a booth at our convention.

“Today, the Texas Democratic Party officially invites the Log Cabin Republicans to sign up for a booth at our Texas Democratic State Convention in Dallas and share their ideas about the future of our state. We celebrate the diversity of our party, that is what our state convention is all about.”

You can email the national Log Cabin Republicans at info@logcabin.com and let them know that Democrats don’t think they have cooties.  However, if they are Republicans, we do question if they have an IQ.

Orin Hatch from the great state of Utah, is about 134 years old.  He owes Noah a dime.  He can be carbon dated.

The act of procreation is just a vague memory to him.  So, he figures that messing with your procreating abilities is the next best thing.

Sen. Orrin Hatch (R-UT) said on Monday that if the Supreme Court rules against Hobby Lobby, which sued the federal government to block Obamacare’s contraception mandate, he’ll propose a constitutional amendment.

“I hope the Supreme Court doesn’t screw that up is all I can say,” Hatch said about the Hobby Lobby case during a Memorial Day speech in Wood Cross, Utah, according to the Salt Lake Tribune. “Because if they foul up the First Amendment again, we are going to have a constitutional amendment. And I believe I can put one on that everybody in this country, except the nuts, will support.”

So, having a uterus I feel like I own makes me a nut?  Do I have to rent it out to you if you demand?  Does my employer get to use it on weekends?  Do you get to make speeches from there?

It’s my damn uterus.  Leave it the hell alone.

All I am asking is not to be treated differently because I have a uterus.  I should get to make my own decisions about birth control without some nasty old man putting an amendment in the constitution saying I’m a tramp or an idiot who should not / could not be aware of my own beliefs.

He’s 80 years old.  He needs to get laid.

Okay, so yesterday the Houston City Council passed the Houston Equal Rights Ordnance (HERO) by a vote of 11 – 6.

The measure bans discrimination based not just on sexual orientation and gender identity but also, as federal laws do, sex, race, color, ethnicity, national origin, age, religion, disability, pregnancy and genetic information, as well as family, marital or military status.

The ordinance applies to businesses that serve the public, private employers, housing, city employment and city contracting. Religious institutions would be exempt. Violators could be fined up to $5,000.

I don’t know why this has the haters upset.  After all, they can still discriminate at church.

The reaction from the Bible Thumpers has been delightful.  They are going to try to recall the Mayor (remember that she won with 57% of the vote against eight opponents, with one of them spending enough money to burn a wet elephant) and are threatening to let the world know that there are gay people in Houston.

But, one of the cutest is the Texas-based GOPUSA group this morning in their newsletter.

Yes, it’s an AP story copied word for word.  The only difference is that they changed the headline from “US Aims to Identify, Promote Historic LGBT Sites” to “Holy Crap, They Have Sex In a Bathhouse!”

I don’t know how the AP will feel about this.  I know how I feel.  Republicans are lazy, unable to write a sentence, and even less able to research.

Houston: where the only place you can discriminate is church.

Damn, you gotta wonder if the rightwing really thinks these things through.

Texas Senator John Cornyn is so slick he can’t keep his socks up.  But he knows for a dead certain guaranteed fact that you can pull a slow one on Republicans. So, he comes out with this statement about his Democratic opponent, David Alameel.

John Cornyn

Cornyn’s campaign immediately released a statement slamming Alameel ahead of November’s general election.

Alameel, the Republican incumbent’s campaign said, is too liberal for Texas.

“And no matter how many big checks David Alameel writes to his own campaign, this seat belongs to the people of Texas and this election will not be bought.”

Dude, you’re insane.  You’re bufuddled at the puddle.  You’re loopy and droopy.

Cornyn has been a special interest whore for so long that he thinks all his corporate overloads throwing money at him is not buying an election.

Cornyn has bought every election he’s ever run in by using other people’s money.  And he pays them back in legislation that hurts taxpayers in Texas.

I’d much rather that you use your own money, John.  At least you wouldn’t have a for sale sign on your forehead.

Thanks to Sharon for the heads up.

Okay, think of somebody you really dislike.  I mean really, really.

Then give them a gift certificate to here.

The Oklahoma City city council has approved a liquor license for a new gun range expected to open this spring.

An Oklahoma City TV station reports that councilors approved the liquor license for Wilshire Gun Range on Tuesday.

The 40,000-square-foot establishment includes 24 firearm lanes, 10 archery lanes and a cafe where food and alcohol will be served.

I mean, what could go wrong?

Now, they say they will “flag” their driver’s license once they’ve been served alcohol so they can’t go back into the firing range.  Like nobody in the entire world can get a fake ID.

What the hell fun is it to shoot stuff up while sober?

Thanks to Zyxomma for the heads up.

The thing you have to admire about Pat Robertson:  he pretty much knows how to manipulate people and he’s perfectly willing to share that information even when you’d rather not know what creepy thing is going on inside his head.

Pat Robertson has the secret to a loving and exciting marriage. When a husband does the dishes, a wife should reward him with sex. Husbands, the octogenarian televangelist claims, have an innate need to “to provide for his family,” and so for “providing” clean dishes a wife should provide sex.

Well, that’s kinda weird.  What does a wife get in return for doing the dishes?  Well, certainly not sex.  No, sireeee.  Women do not like s-e-x.  So, maybe a BMW?  Diamond necklace?  A hand tooled pink leather saddle with rhinestone trim and some red silk ribbons … whoa, wait, I just wandered into Thelma’s dream.

I’m gonna tell you an absolutely true story here.  It’s long but it’s good.

When my friend Reba turned 60 years old, she was watching one of those teevee evangelist shows because Reba is a member of the First Baptist Church.  But she is the good kind of Baptist and a yellow dog Democrat so we get along well.

Anyway, a woman on one of the 700 Club shows was talking about how to keep your marriage sparkin’.  She suggested that meeting your husband at the front door buck nakkid wearing only Saran Wrap and a large bow would get him frisky.  Reba is not a narrow person in either mind or body, so she pondered this for a couple of weeks.

This idea collided with her husband Joe’s 63rd birthday.  They had been married since Reba was 18 years old and she thought maybe their relationship could use some kinky.  So, Reba bought some Saran Wrap and made a big ole bow and waited for Joe’s birthday.

Joe owned and ran a gas station up on the corner.  He came home for lunch every day because Reba is a helluva cook.  She wrapped herself in Saran Wrap and used the bow as an accent.  Then she put a strategically placed sign that said, “Unwrap me” on top of this outfit.

Joe came home.  He had a heart attack.

Joe was laying on the floor grabbing his chest and hollering, “Call 911.  Call 911.”  Reba is hollering back, “Joe, I can’t call 911 until I get out of this Saran Wrap.  So don’t you dare die until I do.  Don’t you dare.  You stay alive until I get this off!  You hear me, Joe?  Do you?”

Joe yelled, “Reba, where did you get that dress-thing?”  Reba replied, as any good Christian woman would, “The 700 Club.”

The ambulance arrives and totes Joe off to the hospital.  Needless to say, at this point Reba was whispering in his ear in her most malevolent voice, “Don’t you ever tell anybody what gave you a heart attack, Joe, or I will be mad as a hornet.”

That evening Brother Bob, Reba and Joe’s pastor, arrives at the intensive care unit of the local hospital to bring comfort to the suffering.  While Reba and I were sitting outside waiting for her time to go in, the nurses allow Brother Bob to go in to see Joe.

After about ten minutes, Brother Bob emerges from seeing Joe.  Reba asked how he was and Brother Bob told her that Joe seemed fine but that he had asked Brother Bob to please tell Reba not to shop at the 700 Club.  “Reba, what were you buying at the 700 Club?” Brother Bob asked.

“Bibles, Preacher, Bibles,” Reba answered with a straight face.

She might be going to hell. I dunno.

Completely true story.  I flat love Reba.