Remember Donald Rumsfeld?  You know, the guy who made up a war on false information, got 4,485 Americans killed, and totally tanked our economy?

That same doofus is complaining that he doesn’t understand how to do his taxes.

Yes, every year Donald Rumsfeld writes a letter to the IRS saying that his taxes are too complicated for him to understand.  Hey, Skippy, there’s a solution for that.  Follow in the steps of Jesus and give away your millions of dollars.  Then your IRS form is just one page long.

White whine.

It is always fun to see a man who has spent the vast majority of his life in the catbird’s seat of government complain about … the government.

Thanks to Rick for the heads up.

There’s a saying that the only thing that keeps Texas from falling into the Gulf of Mexico is that Oklahoma sucks.

And now even more.

From movie theaters to bowling alleys to golf clubs, consumers are accustomed to destinations that come with a full restaurant and bar.

But what about a gun range?

A new Metro business, slated to open this spring, is taking the steps needed to serve liquor on-site.

Hey, they could install a cigarette machine and have their own Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms tee-shirts.

Swanson says shooting complexes that offer customers more than just a range to shoot from is the way of the future.

“That is where the shooting sport is headed,” he said.

Honey, Honey, Honey, that’s the way shooting has always been headed.  You don’t think Dick Cheney shot his friend in the face while stone cold sober, do ya now?

Next up:  Surgical centers with a bar for the doctors.

Thanks to Don in Huaco for the heads up.

If you have some spare time today, I have some interesting reading for you.  Customer Stan sent this letter to the editor from the St. George News about the Cliven Bundy standoff.  It is a rational, reasoned, and historically accurate account of how we got here.

On the other side, I point you to GOP USA, where rumor, speculation, and hooey abound.

“Chickened-out?”

Just in time for Easter, the Super DeLux Brand Christians find a way to horrify me and all the little children of the world.

You gotta put the cross back into Easter.

Oh yes, those are candy crosses.  There’s nothing sweeter than a symbol of torture.

Meet Scripture Candy, complete with an inappropriate motto.

That could also be the motto of Miss Lottie’s House of Joy and Fitful Fornication.

And if you’re more the Jelly Bean kind of person —

I am not eating the black or red ones.  That there is zombie and werewolf stuff.

Thanks to Brian E. for the heads up.

When I saw on the teevee those dude running around on a ranch in Nevada, which, by the way, was a complete insult to our fighting men and women, I thought the only thing lacking was a mental health professional.

Why the hell are they supporting a law breaker?  This Cliven Bundy crazy old fart says he doesn’t recognize the federal government.  Well hell, it’s on your money and your flag and your national weather service and your Bureau of Damn Ranch Management.

Get your damn cattle off my land, you crazy old fart.

Cliven thinks that if he doesn’t recognize the federal government they won’t recognize him.  Well hell, that does not make him invisible.  Kinda like if I don’t look at you, that doesn’t make you invisible either.  We see you Cliven.  Get your cattle off my land.

But here’s the part I like best about all those batcrap crazy white people standing out in the scrub brush.

It appears that the anti-government activists protesting the Bureau of Land Management’s actions against a Nevada cattle rancher were considering using women as a human shield if a gun battle had erupted during the standoff.

…

“We were actually strategizing to put all the women up at the front,” Mack said in a Fox News clip pulled by The Blaze. “If they are going to start shooting, it’s going to be women that are going to be televised all across the world getting shot by these rogue federal officers.”

Women and children first!

Beside, Skippy, do you know what “rogue” means and do you own a mirror?

I am a pacifist but at some point you gotta make a point.  These dudes think they need guns to fight the federal government.  Maybe we should show them that we have tanks the size of Fifth Avenue.  Crazy old farts cannot call in air strikes.  The real militia in America, and by real I mean those who fight along side women not behind them, are laughing at them.

Do those crazy people in the desert know they look like a bunch of drug lords or do they truly not own a mirror?

Thanks to Tom for the heads up.

It’s a big time in Texas.  Dan Patrick, the totally whacked guy running for Lt. Governor of Texas (read:  most powerful position in Texas Government)  will debate Mayor Julián Castro tonight about immigration.

It’s a 6:00 tonight Texas time and will be broadcast by Univision and the Texas Tribune.

Dan Patrick

In 2002, Patrick changed his name from Dan Goeb to the name of a far more famous broadcaster, The Official Dan Patrick.  Some folks say he chose Patrick’s name only because Jethro Lardass was already taken. He’s from Maryland.  He’s divorced.  He just plays a tough-talking, self righteous Texan on teevee.  In real life, he ain’t neither.

Julián Castro, on the other hand, is a third generation Texan who didn’t change his name because he’s comfortable in his own skin.

It’s gonna be substance against glitter tonight so if you have time to tune in, please don’t miss it.