If you have some spare time today, I have some interesting reading for you.  Customer Stan sent this letter to the editor from the St. George News about the Cliven Bundy standoff.  It is a rational, reasoned, and historically accurate account of how we got here.

On the other side, I point you to GOP USA, where rumor, speculation, and hooey abound.

“Chickened-out?”

Just in time for Easter, the Super DeLux Brand Christians find a way to horrify me and all the little children of the world.

You gotta put the cross back into Easter.

Oh yes, those are candy crosses.  There’s nothing sweeter than a symbol of torture.

Meet Scripture Candy, complete with an inappropriate motto.

That could also be the motto of Miss Lottie’s House of Joy and Fitful Fornication.

And if you’re more the Jelly Bean kind of person —

I am not eating the black or red ones.  That there is zombie and werewolf stuff.

Thanks to Brian E. for the heads up.

When I saw on the teevee those dude running around on a ranch in Nevada, which, by the way, was a complete insult to our fighting men and women, I thought the only thing lacking was a mental health professional.

Why the hell are they supporting a law breaker?  This Cliven Bundy crazy old fart says he doesn’t recognize the federal government.  Well hell, it’s on your money and your flag and your national weather service and your Bureau of Damn Ranch Management.

Get your damn cattle off my land, you crazy old fart.

Cliven thinks that if he doesn’t recognize the federal government they won’t recognize him.  Well hell, that does not make him invisible.  Kinda like if I don’t look at you, that doesn’t make you invisible either.  We see you Cliven.  Get your cattle off my land.

But here’s the part I like best about all those batcrap crazy white people standing out in the scrub brush.

It appears that the anti-government activists protesting the Bureau of Land Management’s actions against a Nevada cattle rancher were considering using women as a human shield if a gun battle had erupted during the standoff.

…

“We were actually strategizing to put all the women up at the front,” Mack said in a Fox News clip pulled by The Blaze. “If they are going to start shooting, it’s going to be women that are going to be televised all across the world getting shot by these rogue federal officers.”

Women and children first!

Beside, Skippy, do you know what “rogue” means and do you own a mirror?

I am a pacifist but at some point you gotta make a point.  These dudes think they need guns to fight the federal government.  Maybe we should show them that we have tanks the size of Fifth Avenue.  Crazy old farts cannot call in air strikes.  The real militia in America, and by real I mean those who fight along side women not behind them, are laughing at them.

Do those crazy people in the desert know they look like a bunch of drug lords or do they truly not own a mirror?

Thanks to Tom for the heads up.

It’s a big time in Texas.  Dan Patrick, the totally whacked guy running for Lt. Governor of Texas (read:  most powerful position in Texas Government)  will debate Mayor Julián Castro tonight about immigration.

It’s a 6:00 tonight Texas time and will be broadcast by Univision and the Texas Tribune.

Dan Patrick

In 2002, Patrick changed his name from Dan Goeb to the name of a far more famous broadcaster, The Official Dan Patrick.  Some folks say he chose Patrick’s name only because Jethro Lardass was already taken. He’s from Maryland.  He’s divorced.  He just plays a tough-talking, self righteous Texan on teevee.  In real life, he ain’t neither.

Julián Castro, on the other hand, is a third generation Texan who didn’t change his name because he’s comfortable in his own skin.

It’s gonna be substance against glitter tonight so if you have time to tune in, please don’t miss it.

I am high inclined to believe that this is not satire although it’s getting increasingly hard to tell.

Louisiana legislators advanced a bill Thursday that would make the Holy Bible the official Louisiana state book, despite concerns the move could prompt litigation.

Louisiana has a book?

It appears that the biggest objection to this legislation was which version of the Bible would they use?  I am told there is a King James version in the state library but nobody has ever checked it out.

Thanks to Robert for the heads up.