…. you can mark his thoughts with yard line hashes.

Okay, so yesterday Perry was oh so quiet about Cliven Bundy’s Trip Down Dixie Lane.  But, after sloshing around for a while, he synapsed and jumped on it like a snail hitchhiking on a turtle …

After skipping the chance to denounce Nevada rancher Cliven Bundy’s slavery remarks earlier Thursday, Texas Gov. Rick Perry’s (R) office made clear later in the day that the governor found the comments “reprehensible.”

But, like the other Republicans, he sent out a spokesman to say it for him because oh dear Lord we cannot have Republicans saying that black people should NOT learn to pick cotton.

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Mark today as the day when Rick Perry’s brain fell out.  Thank goodness it was just a small splat.

Let’s start with Rick’s refusal to disavow Cliven Bundy’s racist statement and then move quickly to this:

“What we have in the state of Texas … the federal government is coming in and attempting from our perspective to take over private property,” he continued.

Perry had previously made remarks critical of the armed federal presence during the Bundy Ranch standoff over cattle grazing. “I have a problem with the federal government putting citizens in the position of having to feel like they have to use force to deal with their own government,” he said Wednesday on Fox News.

So, Rick is all hissy fitting over the government wanting to take land.  Uh huh.

Does he think we’ve forgotten about the Trans Texas Corridor, that 580,000 acre land grab by Perry to sell to Spain for them to pour concrete on.

About 250 farmers and ranchers held a rally Tuesday at the state Capitol to protest Gov. Rick Perry’s Trans Texas Corridor plan, which critics say will gobble up the property of rural landowners.

Republican Comptroller Carole Keeton Strayhorn joined the demonstrators and called Perry’s associates “land-grabbing highway henchmen.”

That was in May of 2005.  How quickly we he forgets.

The government taking property, my patootie.

Thanks to Gene for the heads up.

So, on the front page of today’s Austin American Statesman, there’s a story about poor little pitiful Rick Perry and how the big bad Democrats are just beating up on him for extorting a public official.

Get this:

That sounds pretty bad, right?

Well, I guess it would be until you realize that a grand jury has 12 members and even the Statesman itself admits that this grand jury has only 3 (and possibly 4) Democrats on it.  I dunno, maybe I slept through fifth grade math, but even 4 out of 12 ain’t exactly Democratic leaning.

Note to people in foreign states:  We don’t register by party in Texas.  By voting in  a party’s primary, you swear to be a member of that party.  The reason we can’t know for sure which primary a grand jury member voted in is because we only have their names and there’s a whole mess of people named Festus Thigpen or Maria Lopez in Texas.

So, let’s be generous and say it’s 4 Democrats.  So, it breaks down like this, 4 Democrats, 4 people with no primary voting history, 2 people who are not registered to vote, and 2 Republicans.

So, calling 30% “leaning” ain’t just yellow journalism, Honey.  It’s neon yellow with a poopie del pollo stripe down the middle.  As far as we know, all 8 of the others are Republicans.

In my mind, that grand jury leans toward people who don’t care about polities all that much.

Sometimes I wonder why I read that newspaper.  No, wait, make that damn near most of the time.

Oh dear Lord.  Here’s Ted Cruz on Earth Day, celebrating endangered species.

“Shopping for the office?”  Really?

You need to sit down because this will surely come as a great shock to you.  Turns out that Cliven Bundy is a big ole racist.

Cliven Bundy worries about “the Negros.”  He once drove past a public housing project in North Las Vegas.  In that one moment, he became an expert on “the Negro.”  He says they rely on “government handouts” because “they never learned to pick cotton.”

“And I’ve often wondered, are they better off as slaves, picking cotton and having a family life and doing things, or are they better off under government subsidy? They didn’t get no more freedom. They got less freedom.”

Yep, “the Negros” had more freedom as slaves.

Holy cow, politicians started running around so fast that they could have played pitcher and catcher at the same time.  Ho boy, Honey, they were making ruts in rock trying to get away.

Senator Rand Paul, bless that way too curly mess on his head, sent a spokesman out to say that he disagrees with “the racist statements.”  That leads me to suspect he didn’t know exactly what was racist about it.

And now comes the Texas part.  You knew there had to be a Texas part, right?  I mean, Texas never plays second string when it comes to honing in on the crazy.

Our GOP Gubernatorial candidate, Greg Abbott, jumped on the Bundy bandwagon early on, trying to bring it home to Texas in a phony made-up brawl.

The dispute spilled over this week into Texas, where Greg Abbott, the attorney general and a Republican running for governor, challenged the Bureau of Land Management on reports that it was looking to claim thousands of acres along the Red River.

Now Abbott is trying to escape by saying that his position had nothing to do with Cliven Bundy.  Yeah, well, it doesn’t now that Bundy kept the bark on the tree.  By tomorrow, Abbott will claim that he’s never even heard of Cliven Bundy and never mind about that land on the Red River.

Now, if you don’t need any more proof that this whole militia movement is about re-fighting the Civil War, you ain’t locked down good.   You just ain’t.