The National Rifle Association was putting on a program at the Steel City Gun Club in Pennsylvania.

A New Jersey man attending the program shot himself in the leg.

Apparently, not on purpose.

Thanks to Carl for the heads up.

Everyone gets called a complete jackass at some time in their lives because, well, let’s face it, we probably shouldn’t have eaten the last of the cereal and then put the empty box back in the pantry. But just in case you were wondering “am I actually a complete jackass? Or just prone to occasional jerkiness?” wonder no more. Just take this simple quiz, and you will know.

1) The President of the United States is
a) Barack Obama
b) Illegitimate (by any definition you choose)
c) A foreigner
d) A dictator
e) A communist
f) A fascist
g) A Muslim
h) All of the above

2) The ultimate arbiter of history is
a) Historians
b) The victors
c) The Bible

3) The ultimate arbiter of science is
a) Peer review
b) Campaign donors with fat wallets
c) The Bible

4) People who decry racism, sexism and homophobia are
a) Right
b) Racist, sexist and gay – respectively
c) Impinging on my religious freedom
d) All the answers in #1 above
e) UnAmerican
f) Going to hell

5) The “invisible hand of the market” is
a) Code for “the rich get richer”
b) The same thing as the hand of God
c) Gonna git you, sucka
d) Always right
e) The cure for poverty, shingles & everything wrong in society
f) Democracy in action

6) A woman’s body is
a) Her business (and mysteriously awesome)
b) Suitable only for procreation and the comfort of a man
c) The only thing the government should regulate
d) Worth about 77% of a man’s body
e) My business
f) A temple of some magical ghost and subject to her husband
g) A future-patriot factory

7) The Second Amendment is
a) Not carte blanche to have an arsenal to use with impunity
b) The First Commandment
c) The only one that counts, oh, and 10 too
d) My license to kill
e) Proof that I’m a man
f) Better than porn

8) The Affordable Care Act is
a) The law of the land
b) The beginning of the end
c) The spawn of the devil
d) Gonna kill grandma, not that that’s a deal breaker
e) About to bankrupt America
f) A plot against white Christian Americans
g) All the answers in #1 above

Answer key:

All A: Congratulations, you are an intelligent human being and all-around good egg
1-2 Non-A: Go back and check your answers, and use a number 2 pencil this time!

3-6 Non-A: depending on which ones, you’re either steeple sheeple, a smart-ass (i.e. prone to occasional jerkiness) or randomly checking answers

7-8 Non-A: Not only are you a first-class asshole, you’re inherently evil, incredibly un-American, invincibly ignorant, and you probably eat Puppy Chow for breakfast – made of real puppies.

Oh Dear, I think Eric Holder means business.

And speaking of Louie, don’t you wonder what this expenditure was for last month?  Click the little one to see the big one.

.

And lookie who gave him money  –

You know, there ought to be a law against ripping off consumers.

Police in East Texas have arrested a woman after she called them to complain about the quality of the marijuana she had purchased from a dealer.

Lufkin police Sgt. David Casper said Monday that an officer went to the home of 37-year-old Evelyn Hamilton to hear her complaint that the dealer refused to return her money after she objected that the drug was substandard.

Well, who the hell did you expect her to call?  Eric Holder?

But how you know this could only happen in Texas is —

Casper says she pulled the small amount of marijuana from her bra when the officer asked if she still had it.

In Texas, your bra is your storage facility when you do not wish to carry a purse.  Lipstick, money, a candy bar, some Tums, a cell phone, and vast amounts of etc. go in your bra.  I have made actual clanking sounds when removing my bra in the evening.

I know you people from Ohio or Nebraska are asking, “But doesn’t that mean there’s bulges in your upper regions?”  Well, duh.  That’s the whole point.  We don’t need no damn plastic surgery.  And if some fool man complains when you take off your bra, give him the damn candy bar.  That’ll shut him up.

Thanks to Ted for the heads up.

Tip #1 – Do not hunt with Republican elected officials.

Tip #2 – Never forget Tip #1

Oklahoma state Rep. Steve Vaughn (R) admitted to accidentally shooting a comrade on a hunting trip in March, according to The Oklahoman.

Vaughn said he apologized to fellow hunter Drew Ihrig after a shotgun pellet from the lawmaker’s 12-gauge shotgun struck Ihrig in the side of the head.

“I shot at the bird and, I guess, one of my BBs hit this guy,” Vaughn told The Oklahoman. “It could have bounced off a tree. He was in some trees. I really didn’t see him that good in the trees. And…it hit the side of his face. I didn’t even know I hit him.”

You’ve been warned.

Thanks to Charles for the heads up.

It is flat out no secret that the Voter ID bill in Texas is nothing more than a cheap trick to keep the elderly, disabled, and poor from voting.

However, now we might get to see the emails between members of the Lege about the Voter ID bill.

Any legislators’ emails that reveal a discriminatory motive for passing a 2011 Texas voter ID law, signed by Gov. Rick Perry (R), could soon come to light thanks to a federal judge’s recent ruling.

U.S. District Judge Nelva Gonzales Ramos issued an order late last weekdirecting the state of Texas to turn over legislators’ communications about the bill to the U.S. plaintiffs, on a confidential basis, by Tuesday. According to Texas, 189 state legislators had asserted legislative privilege over the documents to try to prevent this outcome.

Now, I know what “on a confidential basis” means.  However, you can bet your best pair of pink boots that the really juicy ones will find their way into court records and then be read aloud on the corner of Main and Capitol in downtown Houston with a bullhorn during the Go Texan  parade because, bygawd, I’m gonna do it.

Hell, those emails might as well plan to make the Book of the Month Club because they will making cahooting an Olympic sport.