As luck would have it, we have not heard from the guns of Wisconsin before now.

A man is injured in his second-floor apartment in West Bend when he was struck by a wayward bullet.

Police say a man on the first floor of the apartment building was handling a rifle when it shot up through the ceiling Tuesday night. WTMJ-TV says the bullet hit the second-floor resident in the stomach. He was taken to the hospital with non-life threatening injuries.

Officers arrested the man handling the rifle.

Rule of thumb for you not-a-physics majors:  If you live on the first floor, point your down.  Second floor – point it up.

Thanks to Larry for the heads up.

Honey, there is no such thing as a Republican woman.  There are Republican girls but once a girl becomes a woman, she becomes a Democrat.

This is the damn strangest story.  Texas Attorney General Greg Abbott is running for Governor of the Great State of Texas.  The only problem is that Abbott ain’t all that fond of hooter toters.  He wants to stand between women and their doctors, women and their God, women and their marriage choices, and women and their right to work for less money than men.

As you might suspect, this ain’t going over real big with Texas women.  However, Texas girls don’t mind it much, so some of them are getting paid to form a PAC called “Red State Women.”

Greg Abbott did not support the Lilly Ledbetter Act for Texas.  Do you wanna know why?

Here ya go.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4hpr5Gaffrw

Women do not want equal pay for equal work.  Women are very busy so they want something practical, you know, like more jobs for less pay.  Better we have two jobs that don’t pay the same as a man than one job that does.  Because we’re busy.  And practical.  Freedom.  Busy.  Errrr … busy.

And this is the damn leader of the Red State Women PAC.  The smartest one.  She is being paid.  Money.  Not the same as a a man would be paid, of course, because she’s busy.

Look, somebody grab a dipstick and check her estrogen level.  I think she’s about a quart low.

Thanks to Brian C for the heads up.

Out in Lubbock, Texas, which is so far out there that neither God nor Goggle can find them on a map, they had a monster dust storm.

So, the news comes on and by gawd the National Weather Service started talked A-rab.

“Haboob northwest of Lubbock as seen from the Science Spectrum,” the NWS warned. “If you must drive west of Lubbock, plan for near-zero visibility in blowing dust and strong winds of 50+ mph.”

Although haboobs are more commonly known as “dust storms,” a NWS meteorologist said the Arabic word refers to a particular weather phenomenon.

So Cletus and the boys over at Dirty Sally’s Bowling Alley and Fine Dining go bonkers.  They take to Facebook and write on the National Weather Service’s page.

“Never had a haboob until we got that muslim boob for potus,” said viewer Jeff Bertrand.

Never mind that we have been calling them haboobs since the 1950’s.

But, Cletus’ wife, Judy, wins the Good Lord I Am Obsessed With All Caps award with her carrying on.

I don’t think Cletus got dinner that night because Judy was out there dead set and determined that science, which she doesn’t believe in the first place, use American terminology because the United States of Damn America owned all the dirt before them Arabs stole it.

The English language uses many words with Arabic origins, including cotton, algebra, candy, lemon, alcohol, and sofa.

Alcohol, Cletus, alcohol.  However, I’m pretty certain that Cletus thinks they can have that algebra crap back.

Hey, Cletus, hurricane is a Spanish word, tropical depression comes from the damn tropics, and the term “heat wave” comes from your butt.

Thanks to everybody for the heads up.

San Antonio, Texas.  That’s where I was this weekend.

A 25-year-old Odessa man accidentally shot himself after he left a Downtown restaurant.

The man had been at Hooters near Alamo Plaza and was in his car and trying to load a 45-automatic weapon in his lap. The gun accidentally discharged. The bullet went through the man’s thigh and came through his knee.

This is how you make compassion turn to snickers:

He’s gonna have a lifetime of explaining that limp, ya know.  “Well, it started at Hooters and ended at Dumbassville.”

Thanks to Larry for the heads up.

Our customer John A. Kwitkoski is at it again.

It seems that the congregation of the Miracle Faith Worldwide Outreach Church in Bridgeport, Connecticut, confronted their Bishop about some little sparkin’ he was doing on the side.

And his response? He showed them. He dropped dead. Apparently of natural causes.

“After the service on Sunday the bishop’s family asked us to remain in the church and the bishop confessed to us something that happened long ago,” said Judy Stovall, an elder at the church. “He wanted to come clean with all of us. He wanted to ask our forgiveness.”

Their story is that they were shouting that they forgave him and loved him. That’s what they’re saying now.

The police closed the investigation because God works in mysterious ways.

Thanks to Brian for the heads up.