Just when you’re wondering why Louie Gohmert hasn’t been heard from in a while, your dreams come true.

He’s speaking and – oh cherry on top! – he’s praising Sarah Palin!

Remember when Sarah Palin said she could see Russia from her house?  So does Louie.  And, what with all this stuff going on in the Crimea, Louie thinks Sarah had a crystal ball when she said that thing about seeing Russia.

Although all Sarah really said is that you could see Russia from some islands in Alaska, Tina Fey made it famous with the joke on Saturday Night Live.  Louie admits he laughed at the joke, but he is oh holy crap serious about making a record of it.  He wants it put in the damn Congressional Record.

Now get this!

“I just wanted to set the record straight so people will understand and the Congressional Record will properly reflect how prescient that Sarah Palin has been in the past,” Gohmert explained on the House floor.

Prescient?  Does he know what that means?  Is he calling Sarah a clairvoyant?  Ain’t that unchristian?

You know, Sarah said that Russia stuff 5 years ago.  Hell, watch this:  Italy.  There, I said Italy.  Sometime in the next 5 years, Italy is going to be in the news.

Honey, do you want to talk prescient?  John A. Kwitkoski sent me this about an hour ago:

Thanks to Lorraine In Spring and, of course, John, for the heads up.

Welcome to Georgia, where 29 year old Maurice Brown is the talk of the town.  It seems that Maurice went to the hospital to get a bullet taken out of his butt.  The police were called and Maurice reported that he was a victim of a horrible crime and had been shot in the hiney.

After police were called to check on a shooting victim, Brown told officers he heard a gunshot as he stepped from his vehicle in the yard. Brown said he didn’t see the gunman but there was a man dressed in all black riding a bicycle when the shooting occurred.

An investigation determined that Brown accidentally shot himself with a pistol in his back, right pant pocket.

Ohmygosh, Johnny Cash was riding a ten speed Schwinn  and doing roll-by shootings!

Thanks to Larry for the heads up.

Okay, so Republicans decided that saying women are far “too busy” for equal pay for equal work wasn’t good golly goofy enough, so ….

They find another woman who says that it’s women’s own fault if they aren’t paid equal to a man in the same job.

No, seriously.  I have it on tape.  It will be the most surreal 25 seconds of your day.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LHKGVOvjCz8

Do these Republicans ever talk to each other?  Yesterday women were too damn busy to get equal pay but today they need to add some schooling in their busy day and feel real bad about themselves if they don’t have time to learn a new set of life skills because they were so busy yesterday.

So what Republicans are telling us is that if they are re-elected, women are totally screwed.

Okay, I’m pretty sure we already knew that but we appreciate Republicans reinforcing it.

Thanks to Steve for the heads up.

Just when you think that there’s a slight possibility that maybe, just maybe, Pope Francis might be the first Christian Pope, he sends his notes to Pope Benedict for an opinion.

Here’s the scary part:

“‘Bring this to Pope Benedict; you will see that the first page after the contents is empty,” he said, according to the Associated Press. “Pope Benedict should write there everything that he has in the way of critiques when he has read it and give it back to me.'”

“Three days later, he said to me, ‘I have four pages here … in a letter, and please give this letter to Pope Francis,'” Gaenswein recalled of Benedict.

Four damn pages?  Really?  You ask for one page of critique and you get back four?  What?  You don’t like his shoes or something?  Heck, Benedict, I don’t like you worth diddle squat but even I couldn’t write four pages criticizing you.

He must be bored.

The basket of crazies is so filled up lately that Michele Bachmann has to wiggle her way to the top with something dumber than bean dip just to get noticed.

And she did.  Marriage equality scares the beejeebers outta her.

“And the thing that I think is getting a little tiresome is the gay community have so bullied the American people and they have so intimidated politicians that politicians fear them and they think they get to dictate the agenda everywhere.”

So let me see if I have this right. The gays are the bullies and day is now night.

A question for Michele: are those mean ole gays just bullying your husband into flamboyancy?

Thanks to Jay for the heads up and John for the cool graphic.

One of the biggest races in the Republican run-off in Texas is for Lt. Governor with incumbent David Dewhurst facing Holy Crap He’s Nuts Dan Patrick, who is, by all tabulation the front runner.

So a debate seems to be in order, right?  I got the Gulf Coast concession on tequila for that debate.

They have decided on a private debate with no press allowed.  That is not a debate.  That is a honeymoon spat.

Houston developer Jay Williams, the C Club’s vice president, confirmed late Friday that the news media will not be allowed to cover the Patrick-Dewhurst debate.

“This is a private event for just the C Club,” he said. “Members only.”

Then there’s this:

While the format hasn’t been finalized, Williams said club president David Peacock, the debate moderator, will select from questions submitted by members in advance and “will be able to ask follow ups.”

Okay, I’m wrong.  This is not a honeymoon spat.  It’s a honeymoon pillow fight.

Okay, so here’s the membership list of the C Club, whose motto is “Keeping Houston politics fiscally conservative.”  Can someone, anyone, find the name of one woman on the membership roll?

So, we’re talking about a gay honeymoon pillow fight?

Thanks to Patrick for the heads up.