Oh goodness gracious, it was in the Washington Post.

Phil Roe

Speaking at a Heritage Foundation event on Monday about conservative alternatives to the Affordable Care Act, Rep. Phil Roe (R-TN) told the audience that among the ways in which the GOP can facilitate a takeover of the U.S. Senate would be to provide nominees with “a roll of duct tape to put over their mouths.” He said that his party should have taken the Senate in prior election cycles but, because the party’s nominees said “stupid things,” they failed to achieve that.

“I would suggest, when we nominate people, we give them a roll of duct tape to put over their mouths so they don’t say stupid things,” Roe said. “Maybe we can win an election.

Somebody, please, pretty please, buy up all the duct tape!

By the way, Phil, it’s spelled stoopid.  The GOP is waaaay beyond plain ole stupid.

And in Republican Irony De Jour:  This is the same guy who said that Obamacare should not cover pregnancies because his wife “has been fixed.”  Somebody get the duct tape.  Phil needs it.

Thanks to my friend Steve at White’s Creek for the heads up.

In Houston, Texas.

A guy named Derek Poe decides that a great way to advertise his business is to hire another guy to stand at a busy freeway intersection while dressed to get noticed and carrying a sample of the product.

Free enterprise and advertising.  We love it.

Only problem was that the dress-up was a giant banana and the product was an AK-27.

I could not make that up.

They were stunned, stunned I tell you, that passing motorist were a bit frightened by this and that police were a tad upset, too, when they discovered that the attached drum magazine held 50 rounds of ammo.

It took me a few minutes to wonder what bananas had to do with gun owners.  Oh yeah, I forgot, the gun alone is not near phallic enough.

Thanks to Cheryl and Jeanette for the head up.

Here’s one for the Darwin Awards.

The commander of an Iraqi militant group accidentally killed 22 members of his unit Monday who were training to become suicide bombers after he conducted a demonstration with live explosives, the New York Times reported.

I say we ask for more demonstrations!

Thanks to TexasEllen for the heads up.

This is the top part of something I got in the email hopper today.  Click the little one to get the big one.

Ted Cruz wants you to wish Sarah Palin a Happy Birthday.  Right here.

I need to do some kind of warning thing here.  If yu clic that, turn down your song because they found some gawdawful singer to sing Happy Birthday to Sarah.  I mean, really awful.

And I have a question.

Can she still be called Governor?  That doesn’t seem right.  She quit.  That would be like quitting Miss America but still making people call you Miss America.  See, I don’t even think the Pope who quit should get to be called Pope.  There’s only supposed to be one of them and you quit, Turkey.  Quitters never win.

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And you thought Texas was bad?

An Arizona republican, Carl Seel, recently introduced legislation that would make it a crime for a ‘person in the state illegally’ to use any public resource or facility. This would include sidewalks, roads, parks and yes, even public restrooms.

The first time, it’s a misdemeanor, but the second time it’s a felony.  So, apparently it’s okay to use public jails.

He wants to take their cars if undocumented workers are found driving on public streets, so drive on up in the yards, guys, because it’ll keep big bad Carl Seel off your butt.

And as far as not being able to use public restrooms, if somebody will get Carl Seel’s address we can all use his driveway.

You think I’m joking, don’t you?

Okay, you caught me.  I’m joking.

Use his flower bed.

Scott Walker is such a tool.

“I remember, I was a teenager, had just become a teenager and voted for Ronald Reagan — limited government, you know, smaller government, lower taxes, strong national defense. You knew what you were getting. You knew how a Reagan administration, a Reagan presidency was going to be better for you.”

Scott Walker was born on November 2, 1967.

Ronald Reagan was elected in November of 1980.

Do the math.

No, seriously, do it.

Yep, lower taxes were a big thing for me at 13.  I was paying waaaaaay too many taxes at 13.  So I insisted on voting.

Thanks to Craig for the heads up.