Sometime things just come together in a way that you know the gods of weird are at work.

A guys puts an ad on Craig’s List that he wants to sell his iPhone 5.  He agrees to meet a potential buyer inside the WalMart in Missouri City.  Missouri City abuts Houston.

The potential buyer becomes a real life jerk, steals the phone and hits the owner in the face.

The owner of the iPhone is Luke Kwan and he has a license to carry a handgun, which he figures is a license to use one wherever he damn well wants to.

He chases the thief out of the store and … you know this is not going to end well, right?

According to investigators, Kwan ran after the thief. During the pursuit, Kwan pulled out a gun and fired several shots in the middle of the busy parking lot as the man ran away.

The thief was not hit. Police said he jumped into a white SUV and drove off.

During their investigation, Missouri City police found that a bullet hit a nearby home on Horizon Drive.

It’s a damn iPhone.  All you had to do was install the Find My Phone feature before you sold it, but nooooo …. you wanted to be a Craig’s List iPhone Cowboy.

Thankfully no one was hurt in the home.

So there’s a 34 year old guy in California named Brent Thomas Posada who got shot in the abdomen and was taken to the hospital.

He told police that he was just standing on the sidewalk minding his own business when a black man approached him and held a gun to his head.  He says he shoved the gun away and it went off in his abdomen.

He had described the black male suspect as 6 feet tall, 185 pounds, and in his late 20s. Posada said that the man had been “wearing a black hoodie-style sweatshirt, blue jeans and black, high-top shoes with silver stripes,” the The Record Search Light reported.

Well, the police looked around and there was no blood on the sidewalk and things didn’t seem quite right about this whole story.

That was when Posada finally admitted that he had “intentionally” shot himself in the stomach with a high powered air rifle while he was inside his residence.

I don’t mean mean to stereotype but the first clue that Posada wasn’t all there is that he’s all here:

And if anybody in California has a sense of humor, they will send a black guy dressed exactly like the black guy he described to be his doctor.

Thanks to Mike for the heads up.

The problem with Looneytarians is that they wake up in a new world everyday … and forget the mistakes they made before.

Rand Paul lives in the movie Groundhog Day where he keeps trying to steal without getting caught.  Every morning he wakes up and thinks, “I’m smarter than everyone else.  I am.  They were just lucky when the caught me plagiarizing before.  I can do it this time.”

And he does it.  And he gets caught.

Remember the lawsuit Paul filed against the NSA?  He stole it.  From a damn lawyer.  That is the zenith of colossal dumb.

Since December, the libertarian lawmaker, a tea party favorite, had been working with former Reagan administration lawyer Bruce Fein to draft a class-action suit seeking to have the National Security Agency’s surveillance of telephone data declared unconstitutional; the two men appeared together as early as last June to denounce the NSA’s activities.

But when Paul filed his suit at the U.S. District Court in Washington on Wednesday morning, Fein’s name had been replaced with that of Ken Cuccinelli, the failed Republican gubernatorial candidate in Virginia who until last month had been the state’s attorney general. […]

Fein, who has not been paid for his legal work by Paul’s political action committee, was furious that he had been omitted from the filing he wrote.

Fein was not a joyous writ twit.

However, shame on him for ignoring the libertarian code of ethics:  if you steal from someone, it’s really their fault because they were not smart enough to keep you from doing it.  And freedom.

Survival of the fittest, dude.  Social Darwinism.  Lazy butted bum.

Thanks to everybody for the heads up.

In the south, we used to put the crazy relatives in the attic.  The GOP isn’t so lucky.  They have to keep Louie Gohmert and Steve Stockman in the parlor.

A group of House Republicans has received a mysterious threat in recent weeks: an anonymous email that promises political retribution for those who vote yes to a debt-limit increase – sent to their closely guarded personal email addresses.

Because of the near-secret nature of lawmakers’ internal email addresses, the emails have raised more than a few eyebrows – and the possibility that one of their own was behind, or at least assisting in, the attacks.

I am not surprised.

Ted Cruz got to be the leader of the GOP … by criticizing the GOP.  Whoa, I’m getting dizzy.

When are Republicans going to realize that the only thing that keeps them off the terrorist list is a couple of bombs?

But upon further reflection, some elected lawmakers came to the conclusion that one of their own sent the screed, but no one takes it too seriously because the message was “probably” sent by “one of the crazy ones.”

And that’s the problem.  There’s so many of them.

Thanks to Barbara for the heads up and John for the graphic.

I hate Rush Limbaugh worse than the devil hates holy water.

He’s the sorriest excuse for a man I’ve ever known about.

And now he’s staring at the First Lady’s behind.

“There is Michelle Obama and the $12,000 gown by Carolina Herrera, and the French president Hollande is in the middle, and there’s Obama. You’ll notice that this dress is bigger than the president of France. Here, let me make one more adjustment here and I’ll show you this again. Take a look at that picture. The little guy in the middle is the socialist dictator — well, not dictator. He’s the socialist president of France. On the left, that’s not Oprah. Don’t confuse that. That’s Michelle Obama. I saw a picture of this from the rear. That’s why I thought it was Oprah. I did.”

President Hollande is 5 foot 6.  (Although I’ve heard he’s taller laying down.)  President Obama is 6 foot 1.  The First Lady is 5 foot perfect.

So, Jaba the Limbaugh is making physical appearance jokes?  Yeah, cause every woman in the world wants to physically pleasing to Rush Limbaugh.

Thanks to Brian for the heads up.

There’s a little bit of information that may kinda surprise you.

Public Policy Polling did some polling last September in Texas and discovered something they didn’t expect.  Texans think Willie Nelson may be on to something.

Even though the poll was skewed Republican, 58% of Texans favor medical marijuana and 61% favored reducing possession to a civil offense with a $100 fine.

Now here’s the part that got my attention.  The polls ran white, older, and Republican.

 Wendy Davis favors medical marijuana and that’s a good thing.

Thanks to Ed for the heads up.