The weak of heart should prepare yourself for fainting.

Orly Taitz is taking on Sheriff Joe Arpaio.  Screw the Large Hadron Collider, this sucker is going to make that look like a third grade science experiment.

It seems that people claiming to be from Arpaio’s office are asking Taitz (yeah, I get the humor in these two people claiming everyone should speak English) to “stand down” on her lawsuit against President Obama for being not-from-around here.

Taitz is suspicious even though the letter says —

I have been in daily contact with Detective Lieutenant Mike Zullo from the Sheriff Joe Arpaio Maricopa County Sheriff’s Office Obama Fraud Investigation – sometimes twice daily.

I’m sure you also might have heard that Lt. Zullo is preparing to release his some evidence that will truly be universe-shattering, and the knowledge we have is truly something you’re not going to be ready for.

This will absolutely, definitely change the eligibility landscape by 10,000%.

Mike has asked me to communicate with you that the new evidence – which, let me tell you, is so all-encompassingly gigantic, so incredibly huge – that we were hoping we could ask you to cooperate on one front.

Now, since we’ve all been vindicated 1,000% on the birth certificate issue, since Lt. Zullo’s forensic investigation has been so comprehensive, it’s really irrelevant compared to the new, shocking & completely emasculating evidence. The birth certificate is truly no longer of any real concern.

Okay, okay, they’re talking universe shattering here.  With lotsa landscaping.  And 1,000% vindication.  BIG!  WE’RE TALKING BIG.

So, now a fight has broken out over who gets the credit and publicity.  I’m no expert, but I’d say the credit and publicity goes to Crazy.

Thanks to Ralph for the heads up.

Florida.

Police said officers found Eric Morkert sitting in the bed of his pickup truck with a gunshot wound to his right leg.

Morkert told police he’d just left a firearms safety class and had pulled over to inspect his new Glock 17. Morkert said he removed the magazine and was manipulating the slide when the gun discharged.

The police said that the incident occurred at 9:45 a.m.  And you were so excited about your Glock that you had to pull over to inspect it?

Okay, unless there is a wild and amazing coincidence, I found this:  in the same neighborhood, there is a security officer named Eric Morkert, who works 4:00 pm to midnight shift and rates “expert” on a Glock 9mm pistol.  Not so much a Glock 17.

Oh please let it be a coincidence.  There is limited amount of irony left in the world.

Thanks to Brian for the heads up.

I saw these headlines and almost fainted.

Former “Saturday Night Live” cast member Victoria Jackson wants her next act to be as a Williamson County Commissioner.

Jackson, who moved to Thompson’s Station last year, is petitioning as an independent to become a candidate for one of two District 2 commission seats, currently held by commissioners Betsy Hester and John Hancock.

Get the smelling salts, Aunt Daisy.  (1)  We have a Williamson County in Texas, and (2) Victoria Jackson is Louie Gohmert Crazy.  I was terrified.

We’d have to add two extra days in every week just to load up all the crazy.  We’d have to call them Crazday and Loonday.  That means I’d have to buy a new calendar and I’m kinda partial to my almost nakkid firemen calendar.

Well, come to find out, she’s running in Williamson County, Tennessee, which appears to be just south of Nashville.

“I think the key to saving America is normal everyday citizens getting involved because we the people are supposed to be in control, not the government,” Jackson said.

Honey, if we were to divide America into a normal everyday citizen side and a crazier than a drunk mule side, you better open a distillery or you ain’t gonna have dinner money.

And then she said —

“I think I will fit in quite easily with (the current county commission),” Jackson said. “I went to the dentist recently and there was a Bible in the lobby of the dentist office. … I love this town. My two favorite things are here – Jesus and show business.”

Look, my two favorite things are pink feather boas and gospel music, but that does not make me qualified to run for office, you know?

Jackson said she has been researching the Muslim Brotherhood, Agenda 21 and the Common Core education standards, all of which she speaks sharply against.

None of which has diddle squat to do with county commissioning.

She did not know when to shuddup.

“I have no political aspirations. I just want to help save my country. It should be about ideology, not about who has the most money.” 

Honey, it’s becoming increasingly obvious that you’re making more money off Jesus than show business.  Maybe you need to get a third favorite thing.   I dunno.  Do you like coloring books?

Jackson’s full married name, which she officially filed with the Williamson County Election Commission, is Victoria Lynn Jackson-Wessel. However, she told deputy administrator Chad Gray that she wanted her name to appear on the ballot as Victoria Jackson “because she said people thought it said weasel.”

I don’t know what to say.  I really, really don’t.  And if I did, I’d probably just die of mortification.

Thanks to Brian for the heads up.

Hello, North Carolina.

Furniture shopping can be far more dangerous than you suspected —

A man accidentally shot himself in the foot Monday afternoon at J&D Furniture Inc. on North Lafayette Street in Shelby, according to Shelby Police at the scene.

The man, an employee of the furniture store, had a gun in his back pocket that went off and the shot hit him in the foot, said Lt. Steven Seate with the Shelby Police Department.

And, trust me, this is not the way you want to make the front page of the newspaper.

Or, maybe it is.  I dunno.

Thanks to Brian for the heads up.

Okay, so the Republican Party is trying to fool people into donating to them when the people think they’re donating to Democrats.

Well, alert the damn media.  It ain’t like trying to fool people is virgin territory for them.  This ain’t no damn pilgrim experience for Republicans.

Republicans are defending a series of websites they established that appear to support Democratic candidates for Congress, but instead direct contributions to the GOP.

The National Republican Congressional Committee (NRCC) said its websites were not confusing, and accused Democrats of crying foul because their candidates were struggling.

They refused refunds until a donor went to the media about it and now they are all like …. oh, not us, we will be delighted to refund money.

However, headlines like this —

— can hardly be classified as “news.”  It’s what they do in the normal course of business.

Thanks to Mike for the heads up.

People who believe in gravity even if it’s only a theory will want to be aware that religion has issued a challenge to science and you have a front row seat right here at The Creation Museum.

A debate between Bill Nye the Science Guy and Ken Ham the And Then Eve Gave Adam An Apple Guy will be shown on the internet machine starting at 7:00 tonight Eastern Time.  That’s 6:00 normal people time.

They promise it will be available on You Tube after the debate but warn …

Yes, the live stream is really 100% FREE of charge on debatelive.org as well as Google+ Hangouts On Air powered by YouTube, and will be available to re-watch on our YouTube channel immediately following the debate. (We are unsure how many days following the event the video will remain available on YouTube to re-watch.)

Well, isn’t that special?  I know things on YouTube that have been there 6 years.  Some maybe longer, but I know of some 6 year old ones personally.

I suspect how long it remains online depend on how much Bill Nye wins.  Wink.  Wink.

Join in and see it happen live!

Thanks to Mark for the heads up.