Archive for February, 2014

Even Blind Squirrels Can Find Acorns

February 09, 2014 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Well, Rand Paul may be off on his timing, but his message is on target.

He came to the Big Houston last night and fussed at Republicans.

Sen. Rand Paul (R-Ky.) said his former home state of Texas could easily turn blue if Republicans fail to adapt to shifts in the state.

Speaking at a dinner hosted by the Harris County Republican Party in Houston, Texas on Saturday, Paul warned that the Lone Star State “will be a Democratic state within 10 years if you don’t change.”

Personally, I think he’s off by about 8 years.  He says that Republicans should be more welcoming to “people of all races. We need to welcome people of all classes — business class, working class.”

Well, a good start would be to stop calling people by classes like we’re still in some kind of feudalism around here.  And you might want to mention hooter toters.  Y’all done hacked off a whole mess of us.

There’s a meme I’ve been saving just for when Ron Paul of Looneytarism comes up.  Ta da!  It’s now.

 

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Ted, You Promised!

February 09, 2014 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Get a load of this crap.

Screen Shot 2014-02-09 at 10.04.21 AM

Now let me tell you what I don’t understand about this.  I do not understand how this could be physically possible.

Nugent told a gathered crowd at the NRA’s annual meeting in April 2012 that, “If Barack Obama becomes the president in November, again, I will either be dead or in jail by this time next year. Why are you laughing? Do you think that’s funny? That’s not funny at all. I’m serious as a heart attack.”

Ted, Darlin’, you are 311 days past your expiration date.  That’s 26,870,400 seconds or 447,840 minutes or 7464 hours.  In short, you should be cold and moldy by now.

ted-nugent-with-a-gun-11This is event is proudly announced on Greg Abbott’s website.

But, you know, that’s okay because on Tuesday, February 18th, in Wichita Falls, Texas, two men whose butts overwhelms their mouths will take the stage and say totally crazy crap.

It’s gonna be like Stereo Insanity.  The Bookends of Looney.  The Twins of Derangement.  Los Dos Amigos Locos.  And for our Louisiana friends, Deux Hommes Fous Porter Chèvres.  Yeah, chèvres.

And it’s at a coffee house.  A damn coffee house.  What?  Like somebody is going to read poetry?  

Thanks to Kyle for the heads up.

Reason #8,251 Why I Hate Republicans

February 07, 2014 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

The Texas Democratic Party sent out Ballot By Mail applications to 15,000 Democrats in my county over the age of 65 or self-identified as disabled.

They arrived yesterday at my house and here’s what they look like.  Click the little ones to get the big ones.

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and here’s the other side

photo 1

As you can see, the word “Democrat” appears everywhere, large and proud.  By using this, you will get an application for the Democratic primary and the general election.

Now, in the same mail, came this sucker from a guy named Rick Forlano who is running for judge as a Republican in a crowded primary.  Poor guy has run for some damn thing every election since about 1986.  And he’s lost every election.  We think he’s just addicted to campaigning.

Check this out —

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and the other side

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Yeah, not much mention of the fact that you’re requesting a Republican ballot in the primary.  So, why would this come to me and Bubba?  That’s what I was wondering until my phone started ringing.

People wanted to know which one was “real”.  It seems that at least 5 Triple D’s (that means they’ve voted in the last three Democratic primaries) got these and this morning I’ve heard from 3 more.

After I told them over the phone where to find the little bitty teeny weeny Republican on Forlano’s, they were mad as wet hens.  It appeared to be deceptive to them.  Older Democrats might get confused since this guy doesn’t seem very prideful about being a Republican.  Maybe he’s trying to be deceptive.

Maybe that’s the deal.  I dunno.  Why would a candidate waste money like that?  These suckers ain’t cheap.  They cost about $1. each.  At the very least I wouldn’t vote for a person who wastes money like that.

If you live around here, let me know if you get one.

I just hate these guys.  I don’t trust them.

Everybody’s Talking About It

February 07, 2014 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Walleye snot nosed hissy fit:

There’s very little talk among political junkies in Texas this morning about anything else except Wendy Davis’ stunning and unexpected announcement that she favors open carry in Texas.  That means strapping a gun on your hip and parading around town like something out of a damn John Wayne movie.  Oh yeah, Texas needs more guys with tiny winkies strapping on holsters.

It’s pandering plain and simple.  I know that no candidate is going to agree with me about 100% of things.  However, I do expect the candidates I support to be honest with both me and themselves.  We have lost every statewide race in Texas since Elvis died because our political consultants say we have to pander to the rightwing to win.

This is not about agreeing with me.  This is about dumb campaigning.  It is about a notion that the only way you can win in Texas is to be untrue to yourself.   This one in particular is about sacrificing your children’s safety on the alter of winning.

Let me tell you one thing.  Given a choice between a Real Republican and a Democrat who talks like a Republican, Republicans will pick the Real Republican every damn time.  And your base Democrats will stay at home.  I have statistics to prove that.

As Paul Begala says, “Texas is not a Republican state.  Texas is a non voting state.”  And the non voters are Democrats who have had nothing to vote for.

Wendy Davis did not get national attention by pandering to Republican voters.  She got it by talking to the base.  Hear this one thing:  there is not a persuable voter universe out there.  Repeatedly, it has been shown not to exist.  But, there are a lot of Democrats not voting.

The Davis campaign has had a rough month.  They’ve been insular and unnecessarily rude to reporters.  And have paid dearly for it.  I can tell you that way back last year I was involved in a fundraiser with Wendy in Galveston and her campaign threatened to not let her speak unless we got the reporter from the Galveston Daily News out of the room.  Here we were with 400 people who paid $50 each to hear her and her campaign is threatening us?  Holy crap, Son, what part of “me profit, you overhead” did her consultants not understand?  No, we didn’t tell anybody about it because it was so damn embarrassing – to her campaign.

She up and endorses a candidate for the senate race who is rich, rich, big ole Texas rich and has lavished money on Republicans like bread on the waters.  But he also lavished money on the Davis campaign’s lead consultants back when they were going hungry.  The whole thing stank like a goat with two week old catfish in his back pocket.

Then Texas writers began writing.  Columnists, bloggers, and tweeters asked when the hell that campaign is going to get its act together.

So in response, almost shockingly ironic, the campaign doubles down.  Out of the clear blue, they come out in favor of open carry.  Open damn carry.  Like that’s something that helps education, health care, jobs … you know, the things Texans care about.  The things Wendy is not discussing because she’s constantly having to defend herself while her consultants play audio tape games with Abbott’s campaign consultants.  They are playing inside baseball when Texans need health care.  It makes me want to storm in the headquarters with a paddle and threaten all the little consultants to grow up or get the hell out.

I thought her running mate, Leticia Van De Putte, summed it up best.  Leticia has been Wendy’s biggest supporter and left her father’s funeral to stand beside her during the filibuster.

Asked about her position on allowing Texans with a concealed handgun license to openly tote their pistols, Van de Putte publicly broke with Davis on the issue. The Associated press reported Thursday that Davis supports open carry legislation.

“I’ve had law enforcement back home say they don’t think open carry makes their jobs easier,” she said. “This is one where Wendy and I disagree … I’m with my law enforcement on this one.”

And Van de Putte also addressed whether she’d be running a joint ticket with Davis or whether they’d have separate campaigns and strategies.

“We’re both on the Democratic ticket, but Wendy is running her campaign. Let’s face it their campaign has had a tough couple of months. But I did not put my name in the lieutenant governor race because I want to help Wendy.”

James Moore, the guy you see on MSNBC with strong liberal credentials, blew up this morning and I can hardly blame him.

Even stranger, there’s no real polling that justifies Davis’ position. Never mind the fact that this is the type of issue that the average voter isn’t even thinking about, there was not a single Democrat in the Texas house that signed onto an open carry law, and a survey by Texas Politics on gun control indicates that 72% of the state’s Republicans are either in favor of stricter gun control laws or leaving the present regulations unchanged. Where is her constituency for this ill-considered pronouncement? And why now? Or why ever?

It is mid February.  If this campaign doesn’t get back on track soon, it’s over.  We’ve sacrificed another Democrat to a nonexistent “persuadable Republican,” when all we had to do is excite the base in urban areas and South Texas.

I feel sure her campaign is telling her, “What’s your base going to do?  Vote for Abbot?   They won’t do that because he’s worse for them than you are.”   No, they won’t vote for Abbott.  They just won’t vote and that is the worst thing you can do to Texas.

Your base is running away, Wendy.  You better find where they are going so you can led them there.

I know I’m going to get hollered at for having this hissy fit.  That’s okay.  I consider tar and feathers to be a fashion accessory.

Your Daily Louie

February 07, 2014 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

I wake up every morning and smile because I have a President with class and self-depreciating wit.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HBe_gOdwo9c&list=UUTcCX_XY4l-W2ba5IxIRhsg&index=2

Thanks to Craig for the heads up.

Friday Toons

February 07, 2014 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

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