This morning at 3:00 am, while you were all snuggled in bed, a 29 year old woman in Grand Rapids, Michigan, was settling the score.

Yesterday evening, she went to McDonalds and placed an order at the window.  As is required by law in most states, the order got messed up and she got some scrumptious gourmet items that she hadn’t ordered.

She complained, rightly so, and McDonalds promised her a free meal the next time she visited their fine dining establishment.  And that’s when the fun began.

Hours later, the women returned to the same McDonald’s location, placed the same order, and again received an incorrectly prepared burger.

This time, the passenger began a verbal confrontation with the employee and exited the vehicle to yell and shoot one pistol round into the window of the restaurant. No one was injured as a result.

And how did they get caught?

… the women had left a phone number at the restaurant at the time of the first incorrect burger so they could be contacted about the mistake and the promised free meal.

Seriously.

Thanks to Carl for the heads up.

It’s Missouri so you gotta show me!

Missouri state Rep. Courtney Allen Curtis wants to give you a high-five, and he wants it to be official.

Curtis, a Democrat, recently introduced HB 1624, which reads, “The ‘high five’ is selected for and shall be known as the official state greeting in the state of Missouri.”

Curtis says that he wrote this bill in about 10 minutes so it’s not taking way from his time on more important matters.  You mean there’s more important matters in Missouri?

Curtis said his inspiration for the bill is the children and teens he works with on a regular basis. He said he wanted to use the measure as a teaching tool to showcase how legislation is created and moves through the lawmaking process.

And surely there’s another lesson here.  Ya think?

Thanks to Deb for the heads up.

Texas Attorney General and Governor wannabe has found a whole new group of people to piss off.

In a recorded speech, he compared South Texas with a third world country.  And not in the good way.

In an attempt to make a new punching bag for conservatives, Abbott claims that problems with law enforcement along the Texas border “resembles third-world country practices that erode the social fabric of our communities and destroys Texans’ trust in government.”

The McAllen Monitor was the first to jump high enough to catch geese with a net.

As we have said on our Opinion page several times before, this year’s election should not fall into that traditional zone of venomous nativist rhetoric that inflames the passions of white conservatives at the expense of the state’s growing Hispanic population.

Abbott has been guilty of such practices in the past and we need to declare as a region that we are tired of having Hispanics act as the bogeymen of Texas.

You know, I heard that Abbott’s new campaign slogan is “If it Ain’t White, It Ain’t Right.”  I could be wrong about that.  But, probably not.

Thanks to Web T. for the heads up.

My pronunciation: kerrrr-ap, not another one.

Well, Rand Paul may be off on his timing, but his message is on target.

He came to the Big Houston last night and fussed at Republicans.

Sen. Rand Paul (R-Ky.) said his former home state of Texas could easily turn blue if Republicans fail to adapt to shifts in the state.

Speaking at a dinner hosted by the Harris County Republican Party in Houston, Texas on Saturday, Paul warned that the Lone Star State “will be a Democratic state within 10 years if you don’t change.”

Personally, I think he’s off by about 8 years.  He says that Republicans should be more welcoming to “people of all races. We need to welcome people of all classes — business class, working class.”

Well, a good start would be to stop calling people by classes like we’re still in some kind of feudalism around here.  And you might want to mention hooter toters.  Y’all done hacked off a whole mess of us.

There’s a meme I’ve been saving just for when Ron Paul of Looneytarism comes up.  Ta da!  It’s now.

Get a load of this crap.

Now let me tell you what I don’t understand about this.  I do not understand how this could be physically possible.

Nugent told a gathered crowd at the NRA’s annual meeting in April 2012 that, “If Barack Obama becomes the president in November, again, I will either be dead or in jail by this time next year. Why are you laughing? Do you think that’s funny? That’s not funny at all. I’m serious as a heart attack.”

Ted, Darlin’, you are 311 days past your expiration date.  That’s 26,870,400 seconds or 447,840 minutes or 7464 hours.  In short, you should be cold and moldy by now.

This is event is proudly announced on Greg Abbott’s website.

But, you know, that’s okay because on Tuesday, February 18th, in Wichita Falls, Texas, two men whose butts overwhelms their mouths will take the stage and say totally crazy crap.

It’s gonna be like Stereo Insanity.  The Bookends of Looney.  The Twins of Derangement.  Los Dos Amigos Locos.  And for our Louisiana friends, Deux Hommes Fous Porter Chèvres.  Yeah, chèvres.

And it’s at a coffee house.  A damn coffee house.  What?  Like somebody is going to read poetry?  

Thanks to Kyle for the heads up.