There’s not much news today so, always able to catch the big one, I go to the news section of the Googles and run “Louie Gohmert.”  Honey, you do not even need a fishing pole to catch dinner doing that.

To my shock and chagrin, the latest entry was January 10th.  That’s five days, 24 hour days, which if you do the math is like, I dunno, a real long time for Louie not to say something dumb.

Somebody please go take his pulse.  If he has one, give him another Lunesta and send him back to bed.

We’ve got a five day streak going.  I think that’s a record.

In Tennessee, Deputy David Caldwell was dispatched to William Rood’s house and found he bleeding around the face and neck.

Caldwell said Rood told him he had a .25 caliber Baretta pistol in the right front pocket of his pants. He took the pants off and placed them on his dresser, at which time the Baretta discharged, striking Rood in the chin. It was believed the bullet was still in Rood’s neck.

 Rood will be okay.  His pants and reputation, not so much.

Okay, this is Portland, Oregon.

The Multmonah County Republicans want to hold a fundraiser to honor two men.

Abraham Lincoln: NOT a big states’ rights guy

Multnomah Country Republicans recognize the incredible time of year we are in. In successive months to start the year, we celebrate the legacy of two great Republicans who demonstrated leadership and courage that all of us still lean on today: Martin Luther King, Jr and Abraham Lincoln.

That’s nice, isn’t it?  I mean, not that either Dr. King or President Lincoln would even be allowed to attend a Republican function, much less want to, it’s nice that Republicans are offering to honor two men who stand for everything they hate.  Right?

Not so fast, Nelly.

In celebrating these two men, and the denial of the rights they fought so hard against, the Multnomah County Republican Party announces that we have started our third raffle for an AR-15 rifle (or handgun of the winner’s choice).

Whoa.  They are honoring two guys – both of them killed by guns – by raffling … of dear God … a gun.  There does not seem to be much honor here.

And their speaker at the Lincoln/King dinner?  Raphel Cruz, the crazy DNA carrier to Ted Cruz.

Has this event been registered at the American Association of Mental Health and Irony Free Living?

Thanks to Ralph for the heads up.

This is absolutely worth your time.  It is the giant flushing sound of Chris Christie’s political career.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VKHV0LLvhXM&feature=youtube_gdata_player

She had 72,000 donors. Eighty percent was $50 or less.

Texas is now sending missionaries to other states to teach them how to violate campaign laws.  Sadly, sometimes the natives eat them.

Michael Grimm represents the Staten Island part of Brooklyn.  And yes, he’s a Republican.

A Texas woman who was a friend of and fund-raiser for Representative Michael G. Grimm has been charged with illegally funneling more than $10,000 into his 2010 campaign, according to court papers and people with knowledge of the case. The charges suggest that a two-year-old federal investigation into his fund-raising is still active.

The woman, Diana Durand, 47, of Houston, was arrested there on Friday by the F.B.I. on a criminal complaint filed in United States District Court in Brooklyn charging she used “straw donors” to mask more than $10,000 in illegal donations to Mr. Grimm. She had already donated $4,800, the legal limit.

So, if I lived in a foreign state and a fundraiser from Texas came to town, I’d ask to see their redneck passport.

Thanks to Dennis for the heads up.