Texas Senator Ted Cruz lost his mind yesterday and wrote on his Facebook page:

Nelson Mandela will live in history as an inspiration for defenders of liberty around the globe. He stood firm for decades on the principle that until all South Africans enjoyed equal liberties he would not leave prison himself, declaring in his autobiography, ‘Freedom is indivisible; the chains on any one of my people were the chains on all of them, the chains on all of my people were the chains on me.’ Because of his epic fight against injustice, an entire nation is now free.

We mourn his loss and offer our condolences to his family and the people of South Africa.

This is an honest to goodness true story.  I have a friend (that’s not the breaking news part) who is currently in Washington DeeCee  to see the White House at Christmas.  She is a perfectly lovely lady from a distinguished local family.

She called me yesterday afternoon all ranting.  Now I know for a fact this was a bucket list trip for her so I was wondering what the heck had happened.

She proceeded to tell me that the White House tour was completely over the top fabulous and then they were escorted to sit in the gallery of the United States congress.  This was a big moment in her life.  She had always wanted to do this.

“Guess who was speaking?” she yelled at me on the cell phone.

“I dunno.  I didn’t have C-Span on,” I replied.  “Maybe our congressman, Pete Olson?”

“Oh no, think even dumber than him,” she said.  “The minute we sat down, I told my husband that I have to call Susan!”

“Louie Gohmert,” I guessed.

“Ding!  Ding!  Ding! You win!”

She then asked me how stoopid one person can be without forgetting to breath and leaving the planet better off for it.

It seems that “Señor Stoopid Gohmert” was putting on an embarrassing show.  She tried to tell me about how he claimed to be a Christian and how everybody else deserved to be hated, but I figured she was just making that up because he had ruined her once in a lifetime moment.

Come to find out, she was not making that crap up.

Louie was making the argument that non-Christians and atheists should encourage people to worship God.

“So if you were completely areligious, completely atheistic, but you wanted to have a free country, and you wanted to have it safe and protected, then it would sound like — from historical purposes — that it might be a good thing to encourage those who believe in God to keep doing so,” Gohmert said. “Because when a nation’s leaders honor that God, that nation is protected. It’s only when it turns away that it falls.”

You know, like Christian Germany in WWII.

No, y’all, Louie really said that and my friend Pam heard it with her own two ears.

Thanks to everybody for the heads up.

And you thought Alabama men were wimpy.  Shame on you for that.

After partying all night at nightclubs, a 35 year old Alabama man, whose name has not been released much to his mother’s delight, was playing wild west with his handgun, spinning it around his finger to impress his friends.

And impressed they were when the gun, of damn course, went off and was agreeable enough to shoot the owner in the stomach and not anyone else.

But here’s the how-you-know-he-was-really-really-drunk part.

The gun went off and a bullet struck the man’s stomach, but didn’t exit through his back.

“The man told police he could feel the bullet under his skin so he took a knife and cut it out himself,” Captain Bobby Jackson with Gadsden PD said.

And to think there are people who go to school for 10 years to learn to be a trauma surgeon when all they had to do was get drunk.

Thanks to Marge for the heads up.

Okay, so you’re not going to believe this, so here’s the link.

There’s a 51 year old guy named Doug Sedenquist who lives in Michigan.  Doug got arrested because it’s a felony not to put down the rifle you have pointing at yourself in your pick up truck, even if you are a major proponent of open carry.  He had a court date set on this case but he had to miss it.

Wanna know why?

Because he was back in jail for extortion, stalking and possession of a drug chemically similar to a controlled substance.

Dude, some lawyer is getting a new Beemer thanks to you.

And why did I want to tell you this story?

Doug is the former vice chairman of the Delta County GOP, and is now a Tea Party activist and hosts a radio show.

Yeah, that stuff can drive you crazy.  And that’s a fact.

Thanks to Dennis for the heads up.

I just got word from the best of sources that Kesha Rogers, a Lyndon LaRouche Goofball who wants to impeach President Obama, has filed to run as a Democrat for the United States Senate against John Cornyn.

Kesha and her favorite Hilter/Obama sign

In case you’re wondering what the LaRouchies are, they are a cult plain and simple, who believe, among other tin foil hat things, that the Queen of Damn England rules the world.  Honey, she can’t even rule her family.  Around here, they stand in front of the post office all day with big signs saying to impeach Obama.  They love, love, love that Hitler mustache thing and think it’s hysterically funny.

Kesha is an African American woman who’s made duplicity an art form.  She ran for Tom DeLay’s old seat twice and, of course, lost both times.  She campaigns as an Impeach Obama candidate in the white community and a caring, loving black woman in the African American community.  She’s slicker than snot on a doorknob.

She calls President Obama “criminally insane.”

Wait a minute.  She follows a guy who has been convicted for mail fraud (once), credit card abuse and obstruction of justice (another time), believes the 911 attacks were an inside job, and who even Jim Bakker claimed, “to say LaRouche was a little paranoid would be like saying that theTitanic had a little leak.”

Well, I see at least she’s an expert on the criminally insane.

More to come.

So, it’s Tennessee and your sister thinks she hears a prowler outside.  She calls you instead of the police to come shoot somebody.

When you get there, you have your .357 Magnum but there’s a problem.  You have no ammo for your .357.

His sister gave him .38 caliber ammo, and when he tried to force the round into the weapon by tapping it with his pocketknife, the round went off, striking him in the hand.

See, a real man would have gone outside and killed the prowler with a pocket knife.

But the best part of this story is yet to come.

Carlie Indmon Phillips, 45, sustained the wound Sunday night at a home on Hillbilly Way and was taken to Methodist Medical Center for treatment of an injury…

His sister lives on Hillbilly Way.  Damn.  That’s some delightful stuff.

Thanks to TexasTrailerParkTrash for the heads up.