Thanks to John Kwitkoski for the very cool graphic.

Arizona, my friend.

Twenty year old man target shooting with his girl. Decides to show off .

Citing evidence and witness statements, deputies said Roe was target shooting in the area with his girlfriend. When he was kneeling down for a shot, he accidentally discharged a shotgun, hitting himself in the foot, the sheriff’s office said.

There was no word on the man’s condition.

Embarrassed as hell, that’s his condition.

… a candidate for governor in Arizona.

Republican State Sen. Al Melvin, who is running for governor, attributed the following quotes to Abraham Lincoln.

“You cannot help the poor by destroying the rich. You cannot strengthen the weak by weakening the strong.”

“You cannot further the brotherhood of man by inciting class hatred.”

We’re pretty sure Lincoln never said that.  Manly, because the google will tell you that it was said by William J. H. Boetcker, a preacher who’s been dead since 1962.  However, the google will also tell you that Ronald Reagan attributed these idiotic quotes to Lincoln at the 1992 Republican National Convention.

Good Ole Al Melvin says he got the quote “from a Republican club newsletter,” where they also quoted George Washington as saying, “Barack Obama is a Kenyan Muslim.”  Okay, so I made up that last part.  I hope.  I hope I didn’t spoil the headline in the next Republican Club Newsletter.

On the amusing side, Melvin said …

“If Obama had said it, I would have credited him,” Melvin said. “I know he wouldn’t have said it, but that was the point.”

Oh, so you put attribute those quotes to things Barack Obama never said.  Well, there ya go.  That alone is proof they are correct.

My head hurts.

Thanks to TexasTrailerParkTrash for the heads up.

When I see a story like this, my first response is. “okay, where in Texas did this happen?”

That’s why I want to say, “Thank you Georgia.”

This is exactly why the Gideon’s put Bibles in southern hotel rooms.

Two residents of Cartersville may have not directly broken one of the Ten Commandments, but they did break the law when their fight over the sacred covenant turned violent.

According to police reports, Carolyn Unfricht and Daniel Camarda were inside a Cartersville hotel arguing about the Bible and specifically the Ten Commandments

Unfricht told police things got heated when she hit him across the face with her Bible. Camarda retaliated by throwing her across the room.

Both are now facing battery charges and not surprisingly, the police report states they were “highly intoxicated” at the time of the arrest.

Hummm … they must have read Rick Perry’s Christmas card.

I have long said that the rightwing uses Jesus as their own personal savior weapon so I would truly like to thank Carolyn and Daniel for giving us the literal graphics.

Thanks to Monty for the heads up.

As most of you know, Congressman Steve Stockman’s campaign headquarters is in a dumpster.

And it appears he found something to giggle about in there —

Liberal tears are the best gun lubricant around?

I imagine his guns are slicker than snot on a doorknob.

Thanks to Brian and Kyle for the heads up.

I often talk about my friends over at GOPUSA, which sorta seems to be Paranoia Central.

I’m on their email list and it’s generally my giggle of the day.  Today brought this —

I dunno, but I suspect it’s fabuuulous!