The President of the United Damn States of America was asked to record the Gettysburg Address.  They asked him to read what is called The Nicolay copy – which is believed to be the first draft – and is the one preserved at the Library of Congress.

He read it.

They reacted.

The words “under God” are not in the Nicolay version.  You know, the one preserved in at the Library of Congress.

Good Lord, can’t these people take up knitting or something?

Buck Pochek once picketed the beauty salon because he claimed Juanita Jean left “under God” out of Take Me Out To the Ballgame.

Same deal.

Thanks to Brian for the heads up.

As regulars around here know, I have had my share (and yours too) of disagreements with priests for a while now.  It’s never been an isolated incident for me.

Here’s the rule:  the only man in a dress you should trust is RuPaul.

Now here comes a man in a dress AND a funny hat, who says —

According to a Catholic bishop in Springfield, Illinois, Satan was behind his state’s recent legalization of same-sex marriage.

So, next Wednesday, at about the same time Gov. Pat Quinn signs the gay marriage bill into law, Bishop Thomas Paprocki will hold an exorcism ceremony “in reparation for the sin of same-sex marriage.”

He’s doing an exorcism on gay marriage?

Ho boy, that just had the opposite reaction on me that is the usual cause of a exorcism – my head started spinning around.

Bishop Paprocki, you don’t have anything productive to do on Wednesday?  Are all the hungry children in Illinois fed?  Are all the sick healed?  Are all the poor clothed?  Have you visited everybody in jail?  If so, dude, go right ahead.  If not, shame on you.

Thanks to Aggieland Liz for the head up.

Former President George W. Bush announced last week that building the Keystone XL Pipeline is “a no-brainer.”

And who, if not President Bush would be America leading expert on no-brainers?

Bush said building the pipeline is a economic necessity because it will provide 20,000 jobs.  No brainer.  Initially it will provide 3,900 temporary jobs and then a grand total of 35 jobs once it’s finished.  See, no brain.  It will, however, provide the equivalent of 51 coal plants worth of carbon emissions.

The Keystone XL pipeline is a way to get Canadian oil out of the US, not into it.  We take all the danger and get none of the benefits.  That there?  See, that’s the no-brainer.

Thanks to Robert for the heads up.

Okay, hook ‘um low today.

Texas Attorney General and Governor Wannabe Greg Abbott has a former field representative named Lorenzo V. Garcia.  Lorenzo is an Idea Man.

Here’s his latest idea.

He declared to to be Catch an Immigrant Day at the University of Texas in Austin.

The press release states “There will be several people walking around the UT campus with the label “illegal immigrant” on their clothing. Any UT student who catches one of these “illegal immigrants” and brings them back to our table will receive a $25 gift card.”

Now that’s just a whole mess of fun, ain’t it?

Nice Hispanic outreach, Abbott.

Thanks to everybody for the heads up laced with total disgust.

UPDATE:  Greg Abbott’s answer.

So wait, it’s Wendy Davis’, President Obama’s, and shenanigans fault?  Did you see what he did there?  He made he cringe.  Yes, he did.

Whoa Nelly, can you even imagine the dinner conversation at the Cheney Thanksgiving table?

On Fox News Sunday, Dick Cheney, Jr, Liz, said that she believes in traditional marriage.   She added that she loves her sister but, “This is just an issue on which we disagree.”

Mary Cheney took to Facebook to say ….

“Liz – this isn’t just an issue on which we disagree – you’re just wrong – and on the wrong side of history.”

Mary and her wife, Heather Poe, were married in Washington, DC, last year.

“Liz has been a guest in our home, has spent time and shared holidays with our children, and when Mary and I got married in 2012 – she didn’t hesitate to tell us how happy she was for us,” Poe wrote on the social media site. “To have her now say she doesn’t support our right to marry is offensive to say the least.”

Personally, I wouldn’t let one member of that family have anything to do with a sharp knife on Thanksgiving.

Thanks to Victoria Linn for the heads up.

A regular customer sent me this 2011 article from Business Insider.  I’m not sure what business they are inside but there is a mildly disturbing article about Rick Perry and his nickname.  The article is entitled “Gross”.  Yep.

If you go read it, you’re on your own.  However, you might want to remember this as his campaign slogan during his presidential run.  Here’s the picture they’re talking about.

Thanks to Kristin for the heads up.