There is a man who walks this planet with you and me, apparently looking normal but entertaining grotesque thoughts in his head that …

…. Randy Neugebauer is not conservative enough.   Oh yeah.

Dr. Donald May said he is eager to debate liberals and champion conservatism after he announced his candidacy in the Republican primary for the U.S. House of Representatives seat now held by Republican Randy Neugebauer.

Okay, imagine someone more conservative than West Texas Congressslither Randy Neugebauer.  Hey, I can imagine someone smarter, someone more honest, someone better looking (but not this guy), someone nicer, but I cannot, I really cannot, imagine someone more conservative.  I think it’s impossible by all known information about physics and geometry and stuff.

And lookie here –

On Thursday, May said he would fight for a strong military, against the Affordable Care Act and for smaller government in general.

Hey Guy, that’s what Randy Neugebauer does all day every day.

“I plan to be writing a lot of short bills — 8 to 15 pages — to chip away at some of these issues,” May said, explaining he hopes to defund the health care act, eliminate the Environmental Protection Agency and other programs he believes should be handled by states and local leaders.

So, he thinks the problem in Washington is that the bills are too long?  That’s the problem?  So he’s going to write a bunch of short pesky bills to irritate the hell outta everybody and hope they surrender?  That’s not a plan – that’s a threat.

Hey, it didn’t work for Ted Cruz.  If Ted Cruz proved anything, it’s that there is a high pesky tolerance in Washington DeeCee.

Thanks to Alfredo over at the Dairy Queen, who eats pesky for breakfast, for the heads up.

Rick Perry, the man who hates Obamacare even worse than book reading, is now encouraging Texans to sign up for some of that there Obamacare.

After years of trying to undermine the Affordable Care Act, Texas lawmakers are suddenly embracing President Obama’s signature domestic policy accomplishment. On Thursday, the Texas Tribune reportedthat the state is shuttering a state-based health care program and encouraging Texans to sign-up for coverage in the federally-run health care exchange.

Okay, so the damn federal government of the United States of America, which Perry thinks is communist and fascist and socialist and some other words he’s heard on the radio, is now suddenly and very quietly good enough for Texans?

Rick, dude, are you running for President on that?  Plus, what are you going to do when Sarah Palin finds out and tells Ted Cruz?

I guess those new glasses aren’t helping the IQ points, huh?

Thanks to Kyle for the heads up.

Get a load of this.  Ted Cruz may have an ethics violation upcoming.

Texas Republican Senator Ted Cruz potentially violated ethics rules by failing to publicly disclose his financial relationship with a Caribbean-based holding company during the 2012 campaign, a review of financial disclosure and company documents by TIME shows. The relationship originated with a $6,000 investment Cruz made more than a decade ago in a Jamaican private equity firm founded by his college roommate.

And then …

Cruz told TIME Thursday that the initial failure to report the financial relationship was an oversight that he corrected last May on his own initiative in his first filing after his election to the Senate. “It was an omission that was inadvertent,” Cruz said.

Inadvertent?  How come when Ted screws up it’s inadvertent but when anyone else screws up it’s malicious and unAmerican?

No, I did not forget to pay the bill.

My website holder got an email from some folks who were claiming that I had violated their copyright two years ago with a cartoon.  They have been claiming this a couple times a year but my geek would always catch it because it came from company that does jewelry to put created remains in and that’s not something I generally write about.

We always asked them for more specific information and since they never followed through with any of their threats to sue me, we started ignoring them.

Then I switched domain servers.  I forgot to tell them about this.  They got one of the emails and shut my butt down.  We got it fixed and we’re back in business.

I truly appreciate all the emails to tell me about it and almost got teary-eyed with people offering to pitch in a couple of bucks to help pay the bill.  We’re able to make payroll right now but if the gerbils ever need food, you’ll be the first to know.

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Your Tea Party implodes.

You fail on the House floor in full view of everyone in the whole damn world.

You give your swan song speech at the same time the House majority leader is giving his, which is considered rude, pompous, and cause for retaliation.

And then … Women’s Wear Daily announces that you look bad while doing it.

Of note:  In 42 weeks of giving the award, that’s the lowest score they’ve given.

Thanks to Merideth for the heads up.