I gotta talk to y’all about Greg Abbott, the Texas Attorney General who is running for Governor.  I don’t like him and always will.

You know that part of the brain that tells you “I probably shouldn’t say one thing and then do another”?  He doesn’t have that.

So, it comes as no surprise that he’s the play toy of the Koch brothers.

Greg and Friend

When Greg Abbott needed a little help flying around as his campaign for Texas governor gets underway, who did he call? The Koch brothers. Abbott’s latest campaign report shows that Koch Industries in Washington provided Abbott with the use of an airplane for $7,500 worth of travel. The report doesn’t offer details. And Abbott’s campaign did not return a call seeking clarification. But one thing’s clear: the Texas Republican attorney general is a favorite of the billionaire Koch brothers, who are big opponents of Obamacare and efforts to curb air and water pollution.

In actuality Greg Abbott isn’t against Obamacare and rampant life-threatening pollution.  He just wants a free ride on an airplane.  And to make his Overlords happy.

Don’t like him.  Always will.

Remember last week when I showed you that Steve Stockman wanted to join that PAC of Texas Congressmen (the one based in Georgia) but he couldn’t spell Texas?

Well, I was wondering why that application to the FEC was handwritten.  I hadn’t seen that since the invention of the typewriter.

Neither had the FEC.

(Click the little one to get the big one.)

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So now Stockman is on the horns of a dilemma.  He can either follow the FEC rules or risk losing his soul to the internet, which of course is a tool of the devil.

Being a congressman is not easy.

Thanks to Alfredo over at the Dairy Queen for the heads up.

The day after another mass shooting, the GOP sends me this POC (Piece of Crap).

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Well hell, the chick is not include?  I suspect they’ll wait for another veto of the Lilly Ledbetter Act by Governor Perry to have their win a chick contest.

The ad adds —

When it comes to gun control, Mr. Obama and his extremists just won’t quit. He’s not interested in what Congress thinks, in what state legislators think… he’s certainly not interested in what you and I think. He wants his way with your rights. And he’s getting it bit-by-bit through executive order.

Do you want to know how badly that I wish that were true.  I’d give up a 50 yard line seat at Armageddon  for that to be true.

You can read more of this classy stuff right here.

And Republicans, you can bet your sweet patootie that if I am ever elected Queen of the Damn World, I am coming to get your guns and fix your hair.  You guys have unforgivably bad hair.

And one more thing to make your teeth hurt.

I’m going to take to drinking.

Then Darlin’, I have the dream job for you.

NASA is looking for people who are willing to lay on their backs for 70 days to “research the effects of microgravity on the human body, according to the Daily Mail . Participants will be allowed to have visitors and also access to the internet and TV.”

The best part?  It pays $5,000 a month.

Here’s the application.   There is one small downside.  “We are looking for a population that resembles the NASA astronaut population.”  Honey, that would put me in the 35 category – 35 year and 35 pounds past that.

But good luck to you because Rick Perry is a damn job creator.

Thanks to Sharon for the heads up.

Y’all, west Texas congresstwirp Randy Neugebauer is pretty well known for doing wacky crap.

For example, he lives in a freeking desert and used campaign funds to buy a damn yacht.

The next thing we know, he’s is getting himself so damn much money being a congressdandy that he needs to defer some of his taxes.  So, he bought municipal bonds.  In Hawaii.  Here’s a PDF showing his $250,000 Maui Wowie municipal bonds.

And now it’s Alabama.

(click the little one to get the big one)

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Randy calls himself a Baptist and has even served as a deacon.

He is planning on taking his money with him to heaven, where he will desperately need it to bribe his way in.

I checked with out customer Barb in DC and she’s at home and safe.

Anybody else in the area, please check in.

Everybody else – the NRA makes me want to throw up.