Sarah Palin is back pointing her finger again.  She says that Republicans are “gutless” for not shutting down the government over Obamacare.

The political class in Washington, she writes, is “nothing if not gutless and rudderless.” She also suggests the effects of a government shutdown would not be too harmful if the fight over Obamacare funding leads to that.

Well, of course, it would be … to her.  She gutlessly quit her government job.

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The last government shutdown was the end of Newt Gingrich.  Don’t forget that.

Ted Cruz.  Because he eats bullets for breakfast and then shoots off his mouth all day, that’s why.

Ted Cruz is now threatening to shut down the military unless we defund Obamacare.

Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX) on Sunday warned Senate Republicans that refusing to filibuster a bill that defunds President Barack Obama’s health care reform law “is a vote for Obamacare,” and he also advised House Republicans to “shut down the military” if they had to.

He appears to be serious.  But then you never know because he obviously wasn’t being serious when he ran on the platform that he’d be a good Senator.

I suspect he has a PLAN B.  As you know, Texas has many well-reguated militias, some of them having only member and others intent on shooting each other … but well regulated by some magical force that makes them stockpile ammo and Lone Star beer.

Billy Bob and Bubba Hank can take on them Russian and then them A-rabs, too.

They’ve got themselves a bunker right outside of El Campo and they have enough beer and missile launchers to protect South Korea.  With the help of the Teds – Nugent and Cruz – they got this thing under control.

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Read this slowly so your brain doesn’t explode.

Did you ever think that the Vatican would join the real world faster than the Republican Party? But in all honesty, the Vatican did not have to deal with Cardinal Ted Cruz.

Remember how the folks on food stamps cost our country trillions by selling bets on bad mortgages to suckers?

No, that wasn’t them?

Okay, remember how poor folks got us into a war we didn’t pay for and ran up the debt?

No?

Okay, okay, remember how hungry children paid themselves $175,000 a year plus perks and health care on the taxpayers’ dime?

Well, crap, if you can’t remember that, you you have a bad case of Boehnerphobia or Itchycruz.

But thanks to Ted Cruz and John Boehner, all those hungry children are going to stop ripping off this country, dammit.

Cruz and Boehner have only one demand: reverse the results of the 2012 election or you get a great depression wrapped up with a bow on top.

Thanks to all you pissed-off people sending me emails this morning!

Pass the popcorn, Thelma!

Republican Rep. Peter King said Friday that his Republican colleague in the Senate, Ted Cruz, “is a fraud” who will “no longer have any influence in the Republican Party” after the House votes on a measure that could potentially lead to a government shutdown.

So Republican Representative Peter King just called Republican Senator Ted Cruz a fraud. He left out, “You’re ugly and your Momma dresses you funny.” He’s saving that for Monday, I suspect.

Okay, so here’s the deal. Thelma and I are going to open the One Stop Republican Insult Emporium, where for just a dollar a piece, we will provide Republicans with words to insult other Republicans.

Like, “He just snapped a link in his tracer chain.”

We’ll even personalize some of them, like for Cruz, “Is your butt jealous about the amount of crap that just came out of your mouth?” (That’s a $2 one.)

“Remember when you stopped to think for a minute? Well, you need to start again.”

“I don’t exactly detest you but if you were on fire and I had a glass of water, I’d drink it.”

“Hey, McConnell, you’re so old that you fart dust.”

“We all sprang from apes, but Rand Paul didn’t spring far enough.”

Oh hell, I’ll give them these for free. I think they need pies to throw, too. That would be so cool!

Thanks to Susan for the heads up.