Help!  I’m in a hotel in Austin without CSPAN or MSNBC.

The story I am hearing is that Wendy Davis is an awful person for her filibuster but that Ted Cruz is a new founding father for reading Dr. Seuss.

There is a distinct difference between filibustering and some crazy guy who won’t shuddup.

Sarah Palin is baaaaaack.

And she’s really, really mad over the way that her spawn, Ted Cruz, is being treated.  So, she sent senate Republicans a little message.  She told them —

Oh, and a little reminder to Republican senators up for re-election in 2014: Moose season ends soon, allowing more time on one’s hands. So, we’ll be watching your votes very carefully this week.

Some people take that as a warning that she’s going to run for senate.  So she can quit.

Other people take it as a suicide mission.  Well, at least they hope so.

.

Thanks to Brian for the heads up.

Welcome to the NRA convention.  Leave your guns at the door.

Would I lie?  At the North Carolina convention center in Charlotte, you cannot carry guns.  Oh, you got your Sarah Palin, your Glen Beck, your Ollie North, but not your little friend.

North Carolina State law prohibits the carrying of firearms in the Charlotte Convention Center, and the Time Warner Cable Arena. In addition, the Rules and Regulations of the Charlotte Convention Center prohibit the carrying of firearms in the Center. Pursuant to Time Warner Cable Arena policy, all individuals entering the Arena will be subject to a magnetometer security check.

So, they will have to suffer the indignity of walking around completely unarmed and if Glen Beck goes nuts (which ain’t a long walk) and starts shooting up the place, who will protect them?

Why would the NRA, filled to the brim with men who ain’t men unless they are showing off their guns, have a convention in a joint where you can’t have guns?  Are they scared of each other?  Good Lord, in North Carolina you can carry a gun into a bar, church or a nursing home.  Hell, they could have had their convention in one of those mega churches and shot up some chandeliers.

Thanks to Mike for the heads up.

I often tell people that the only reason I write this non-blog is to read the comments.  That’s true.

Our customer Mike found me the greatest comment section ever.

The story is about a wild pig who gets drunk and starts a fight with a cow.  This fun event happened in Australia and someone comments that sounds like an average Saturday night in Texas.  It certainly does.  But then ….

Holy cow.

Two comments later it turns into a verbal square dance with knives over gun control.  I mean, Honey, Melvin the Magician couldn’t have done that.  You just say the word “Texas” and people start defending their constitutional right to own a bazooka and an armory.

So, if you’re low on coffee, have fun right here.

Thanks to Mike for the heads up.

Dick Cheney, who is anxious to get his daughter elected to Congress to clear his name, signed up for the Annual One Shot Antelope Hunt.  Wyoming would have won except for one thing, Dick Cheney couldn’t hit the broad side of a barn even if he was inside the barn.

Last time, he claimed his friend stood in front of the buckshot.  This time he blamed the gun manufacturer.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PCx1fzDcrNg

“The Vice President is an excellent shot,” said the captain of the Wyoming team Governor Matt Mead. “He (Vice President Dick Cheney) had a gun malfunction. But I think he is so excited and enjoyed this so much. He’ll be back next year.”

“I don’t take it personally,” said the former V.P. to the crowed of hunters at the victory banquet.  “I’m sure there was a small problem with the manufacturer.” But I will be back next year and I have enjoyed it, it’s been fantastic. It’s great to spend so much time with some fine folks.”

“So, instead of blaming a bad shot, he blamed the gun company.  This should come as no surprise; he’s been confused about blame before.  After all, he did blame Iraq for the 911 attacks.

Thanks to Carl for the heads up.

You know all the hollerin’, fussin’, and snot slingin’ the Texas Republicans have been doing over Obamacare and how if you sign up for it, your biscuits will always burn, your baby will have colic, and your daughter will marry a guy with nine facial tattoos?

Well, come to find out, that’s not exactly true.  A very nice man who is a small business owner and whose wife has a pre-existing condition, and also has a daughter in college, was paying about the same fair price as picture show popcorn for health insurance.  He just now got his letter from the Great State of Texas about his insurance with the Affordable Health Care Act.  Come to find out, it’s a blessing.

Click the little one to get the big one.

Ain’t that amazing?  Obamacare is saving this small businessman a truck load of money.

Thanks to Kathleen and Bananas for the heads up.