Arkansas (thank you, thank you, thank you) State Senator Jason Rapert, the guy who pushed the 12 week abortion ban in Arkansas, has some news for you.

He doesn’t serve his constituents; he serves only God.  Which, I suspect, makes him infallible and kinda edging in on the Pope’s territory.

“It’s more important to do what is right by God,” Rapert told an audience at the Faith2Action banquet in Columbus, Ohio, “than it is to please those that would rather have me talk about pro-life but not really do much about pro-life.”

I’m  wondering if God has weighed in on cheesy porn-star Fu Machu’s.

Thanks to Norma for the heads up.

Most of you probably remember the explosion in West, Texas, that pretty much leveled the entire town.

Texas is truly business friendly on the issue of explosions.

There is no state fire code in Texas. The state fire marshal’s office lacks the power to make unannounced inspections of local businesses, nor does the office have the authority to compel local facilities to open its doors.

Explosions count as fires so if you’re apt to blow up, we just trust you not to.

And we are powerfully trusting.

Five facilities in Texas with large quantities of the same fertilizer chemical that fueled the deadly plant explosion in West have turned away state fire marshal inspectors since the blast, investigators said Monday.

A railway operator that hauls hazardous materials across Texas was also said to have rebuffed a state request to share data since the April explosion at West Fertilizer Co. that killed 15 people and injured 200 others.

Cheeezzz … even Saddam Hussein allowed more inspection than that.

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You not only can build an unregulated bomb factory in Texas, you can have a portable one you drive all over the state.  Because we are not gonna interfere in your bidness.   Unless you want to build one in your uterus.  Then we’re on top of that, regulating the hell out of it.

Thanks to John for the heads up.

Okay, I know I’ll have to provide a lot of links to this story because you’re not going to believe me.

The Texas Railroad Commissioner Barry Smitherman is a doozy.  In Texas, the Railroad Commissioner regulates the gas and oil industry and just by looking around Texas, you can see that Barry ain’t exactly the People’s Prince.  If the truth is known, the man should have For Sale or Rent tattooed to his forehead.

So Barry decides that being a crappy Railroad Commissioner makes him totally qualified to be Texas Attorney General.  The current Attorney General is running for Governor so the seat is wide open.

So, the pandering has started.  First there was this:

Barry’s Facebook page suggested free handgun permit classes for all state employees because (1) Texas can certainly afford it, (2) the DPS at the door of the capitol isn’t enough but the Texas Historical Society ladies nixed building a moat around it, and (3) Barry needs that NRA endorsement.  (Okay, so I made up #2.  So sue me.)

But saying I Like Guns More That You Do isn’t enough.  Barry has to prove that he can hold women down and force them to have babies.

So, this happens.

In a recent speech to an anti-abortion group on the economic impact of terminating pregnancies, Texas Railroad Commissioner Barry Smitherman, a Republican candidate for attorney general, said he believed many unborn babies “would have voted Republican.”

Oh yeah.  He said that.  That is *freekin’* weird.

You know how the kid in that movie could see dead people?  Well, Barry can talk to unborn people.

Blakemore: Clown at the Goat Rodeo

His campaign manager, Allen Blakemore, who I have referred to as the Head Clown at the Goat Rodeo, comes rushing out to try to explain this so that we don’t have his candidate (read: paycheck) carted off to the Wacky Ward.

Blakemore interprets his clients crazyspeak —

Smitherman spokesman Allen Blakemore called the candidate’s statement a matter of statistics.

“Of course he was referring to the ones in Texas,” Blakemore said, “and we know that the majority of Texans vote for Republican candidates.”

Of course he was!  Sure he was.  That’s the story.  Incidentally, does this mean that Blakemore is saying that mostly Republicans have abortions?  That’s his explanation?  That’s cool by me.  I’ll spread that around.

But no, there’s more.  At no additional charge you also get this —

He touted the economic benefits to societies with high fertility rates and cautioned against heeding the warnings of overcrowding from “the same people that believe in global warming.”

Smitherman and his wife have four children. “We’re doing our part,” he said. “But some people are not having enough children.”

I think he meant you.  You know, you personally.  And he would have called your name if he wasn’t drooling all over his list of name of women needing to have more babies.

Yes, that is why the economy is failing – you women aren’t having enough children, dammit!

And then as if to round out a perfectly insane rant, Barry describes what he saw me doing at the state capitol at the debate on women’s rights.

And he praised the recent passage of abortion restrictions by the Texas Legislature. Smitherman described proponents of the legislation as “civil and polite, but persistent,” and characterized their opponents as “satanic, evil and crude.”

Yep, that’s me – satanic, evil, and crude.  Thank you, Barry, I tried hard.

I’m gonna tell you that with Texas Republicans playing musical chairs for statewide office this year, the winner is going to those of us who love political entertainment.   Oh yeah, and political consultants making money by translating wild insanity into merely offensive.

Thanks to Texas Trailer Park Trash for the heads up.

In a honest to goodness case of You Can Beat the Rap but You Can’t Beat the Ride,” 12 protestors at the Texas State Capitol during the Wendy Davis filibuster are facing criminal charges.

A dozen abortion rights supporters who were arrested last month at the Texas Capitol are facing new charges.

Twelve members of the group “Rise Up Texas” are now charged with disrupting a public meeting.
They were arrested on the day thousands flocked to the Texas Capitol for a final vote on the controversial abortion legislation.

All 12 were initially released without charges, now they say they’re being targeted for retaliation.

The maximum punishment is a two thousand dollar fine and 180 days in jail.

Is that your best shot, David Dewhurst?  Is that the best you got?

Hey Dewhurst, when they charge you with falsifying a governmental document, which the whole damn world saw you do, then this will not be viewed as a bag of feces.  But until then, what a load of crap.

Thanks to everybody for the heads up.

Life can be very confusing.  Sometimes it’s hard to tell who is the good guy with a gun and who is the bad guy with a gun.

The story goes like this …

Joshua Snow lives in Oklahoma.  Late one night, he saw some people trying to break into his car in the driveway.  Wearing only his underpants, he grabbed his gun and went outside.  The would-be burglars took off running, with Underwear Joshua chasing them.  I mean, what’s the good in having a gun if you can’t run down the street in the middle of the night in your underwear to waving a gun around?

The police tell the media …

“That’s kind of where things get a little gray. We don’t actually know what took place there,” said Clark.

Snow was worried enough to bang on Jimmy Null’s door in the middle of the night.

Null grabbed his 12 gauge shotgun when he saw a man with a gun in his underwear.

Well, you gotta admit, that’s not something you see every day on your front porch.

The neighbor said seeing a man in his underpants carrying a gun in the middle of the night “made him suspicious.”  I can understand that.

So, the neighbor shot him.

And this is how the story ends …

Snow is expected to recover. Null is not expected to face any charges.

In all the chaos, the burglars got away.

Well played, gun guys.  Well played.

Thanks to Irene for the heads up.

Tom DeLay used to be my congressman.  Now I have Pete Olson, Phil Gramm’s mini-me.   When Phil Gramm gets drunk, Pete Olson falls down.  Those two are tighter than skin on a sausage.

We used to say, “Well, it couldn’t be worse than Tom DeLay.”  We were wrong.

Pete has never had honest work.  He’s been on a government paycheck all his life.  He was in the Navy and then he went to work for Gramm and hung around congress and now he’s a congressidiot.  No, seriously,  he ain’t real bright.  He is however, hyperactive and talks so fast that you have to listen real quick or he’s always three sentences ahead of you.

True story – last week he called me and asked me to join in a telephone townhall he was having.  I said, Okay, I’ll try this stuff.   At first, I though he was drunk because he was slurring his words and gasping for breath.  I finally got the idea that he was just talking too fast for me to follow him.  My first hint was when my phone caught on fire.

His entire life he’s been on governmental socialize medicine.  You need to remember that because it becomes important later on.

Anyway, and there is a point to this that I’ll get to eventually, Pete put out some campaign literature blasting the AARP.  I need to be honest and tell you that I am a 10 year member of AARP and I have their supplemental insurance for my Medicare.  I have been very happy with them and I even enjoy the little magazine they send me.

Pete Olson is not so happy with AARP.  He put a picture on his literature of President Obama wearing an AARP button, which means that now the AARP has cooties.

Pete declares that the AARP “is nothing but a shill organization for the radical left.”  I did not know that.   And apparently neither did President Yvonne Louviere and Vice President Leon Anhaiser of the Sugar Land branch of AARP.  They wrote Pete a scathing letter that told him in no uncertain terms that they disagree with him.   Strongly disagree. They have done many service projects and add …

We sponsor local candidate forums each year and allow both Republican and Democrat candidates the opportunity to speak to our membership. We are an informed and politically diverse organization.

Now here’s where I tell you that I searched the voting records of Yvonne Louviere (85 years old) and Leon Anhaiser (75 years old) and they have both voted in the Republican primary every election since 1992, which is as far back as I checked.   That’s Republican enough in my book.  They asked Pete Olson for a retraction.

Instead, they got this:

Asked to clarify his position regarding AARP, Olson said, “While I am appreciative of the local support and volunteerism that the Sugar Land AARP chapter offers our community, it does not change the fact that at the national level the AARP is a whole-owned subsidiary of the Democrat party and complicit in the Obama Administration’s efforts to weaken our freedoms, vastly expand government control over our lives, and force a liberal-extremist world view on the people of Texas. If the local chapter feels they need to take issue with this, they should start by internally working to change the AARP back to a service organization instead of an arm of the Democrat party.”

Oh Sweet Lord of Delusion, he doubled down and called these old people in tennis shoes patsies of the “Democrat” party.

Well, if the AARP is what Democrats want, then maybe Yvonne and Leon might want to come on over.  Yvonne and Leon, we don’t think you’re anybody’s fool. Pete does.

Pete Olson is having a town hall at Clements High School in Sugar Land on Tuesday night at 6:30.  You have to submit your questions in writing.  The last Olson townhall we went to, a guy threatened to punch Bubba in the nose.  Bubba laughed at him.  The police had to escort him out while while Bubba continued to grin.

Bubba can’t wait to go again.