Thank you, Florida, for sapping some of the crazy out of Texas.

Republican Congressidiot Ted Yoho has declared that Obamacare is “racist” because there’s a tax on tanning beds and only fair skinned people use tanning beds.

For the record, please allow me to say that I am so white that I glow in the dark.  I do not use a tanning bed for the same reason I don’t smoke.

Rep. Ted Yoho (R-FL) recently told a group of constituents that he backing a birther bill because he hoped that it would “get rid of everything” that President Barack Obama had done, and then added that the president’s “racist” health care law forced white people to pay more to use tanning beds.

But Ted did his research before saying that.

The Florida Republican continued: “I had an Indian doctor in our office the other day, very dark skin, with two non-dark skin people, and I asked this to him, I said, ‘Have you ever been to a tanning booth?’ and he goes, ‘No, no need.’ So therefore it’s a racist tax and I thought I might need to get to a sun tanning booth so I can come out and say I’ve been disenfranchised because I got taxed because of the color of my skin.”

Love me some GOP research.

But there’s this:  have you ever considered that if there wasn’t a tax on tanning beds maybe that would be President Obama encouraging everybody to become dark skinned like him or the Muslims. You know, he’s trying to turn us all black!

See, this is tricky stuff.  There is no right answer … and that’s the way the GOP loves it.

Thanks to Grace for the heads up.

I think y’all might remember Cathie Adams, the former chairman of the Texas Republican Party who is pretty much convinced that you’re going to hell.

Cathie of the Beast

And that Grover Norquist grew a beard to show people that he’s a Muslim.

And that she resigned after being accused of playing loose and easy with Republican Party money.

And that President Obama has fried his brain on drugs.

In short, Cathie’s tray ain’t in the full upright and locked position.

So now she’s decided that the immigration reform bill in the Senate, which includes biometric scanning, is the Mark of the Beast.

“And, of course, we know in biblical prophecy that that is the End Times,” Adams said of the initiative. “That is going to be the brand either on our foreheads or on the back of our hands. That is demonic through and through. That is End Times prophecy. There is no question about that.”

Of course, Cathie also thought that scanners in the grocery stores, ATM machines, the internet, and disco music were also the mark of the beast.  She has led a life of grave disappointment.

Think how she’s going to feel when Jesus comes again and he’s from Mexico this time.

Bless her heart.  I worry about her.

Thanks to Brian C for the heads up.

I read Doonesbury every day.

I also live in the State of Fodder.

It’s The Daily Louie!

So yesterday Texas Congressspider Louie Gohmert put down his Benghazi flag for a minute to run over to the flip side of insanity and announced that President Obama made us all look like cowards.

A Republican congressman from Texas said Monday that President Barack Obama’s decision to close 22 U.S. embassies and consulates because of credible terrorist threats makes the country look “like a bunch of cowards.”

You wanna know what is really cowardice?  Sitting in the cheap seats tossing verbal bombs at the Commander in Chief for doing something you said he should have done in Benghazi.  I’ll betcha that Louie’s breath smells of hen feather this morning.

Look, I know Louie’s guitar ain’t tuned right, but you can’t tell somebody to wash your car and then whine that you’re getting a glare off the hood ornament.  Well, I guess you can and that would qualify you to be the congressman from east Texas but you’re still an idiot.

Thanks to everybody for the heads up and John for the graphic.

You’re gonna love this.  Feisty little Reince Priebus is now director of programming at NBC and CNN.

Republican National Committee Chairman Reince Priebus threatened to pull the group’s partnership with NBC and CNN for 2016 GOP presidential primary debates if the networks moved ahead with plans to air films on Hillary Clinton.

“If they have not agreed to pull this programming prior to the start of the RNC’s Summer Meeting on August 14, I will seek a binding vote stating that the RNC will neither partner with these networks in 2016 primary debates nor sanction primary debates they sponsor,” Preibus said in a statement.

Woo woo.

So Reince is threatening to cloud up and rain on their parade?  You know the proper response to this, right?  “Hey Sparky, one more word outta you, and we won’t carry your boring debates.”

And Reince, the next time you threaten to bite off your nose to spite your face, you might wanna go pee in the wind instead.

It looks like all that money was wasted at Mrs. Mabel’s Memory School for Rick Perry.  Just when he learned to count to three, he lost himself.

Look, I will admit there’s times when I didn’t know where I was but then I sobered up and got the hell outta the Mustang Lounge.  Rick Perry is not so lucky.  Getting out of Louisiana ain’t that easy what with alligators and funeral processions.

During a speech he gave last week —

Touting Texas, Perry declared, “There are many other states that embrace those conservative values, the approach we’ve taken over the years. I’m in one today – Florida.”

“We’re in Louisiana,” someone shouted.

By the way, the new and improved Rick Perry lost the boots in favor of dress shoes and is now wearing hipster black rimmed glasses.  I don’t know this to be true, but I’ve heard that the glasses keep him from walking into walls so much.  However, they don’t appear to be helping at reading maps.

Thanks to Willie and Jane for the heads up.