Archive for August, 2013

The Daily Louie

August 07, 2013 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Do you want to know what was a bigger recruiting tool for Al-Qaeda than Guantanamo Bay or the atrocities committed at Abu Ghraib prison in Iraq?

The President shutting down our embassies.

Louie Gohmert knows these things.

And for the daily double, Louie says he duct taped a defendants head in his courtroom when he was a judge.

“… I had one guy that was particularly out of line, and I warned him three times and then we duct taped his head,” Gohmert said. “And we didn’t hear from him until it was his turn to talk.”

Yes, but it was duct taped blessed over at the Baptist Church.

And, Dammit, It’s HIS Fault

August 07, 2013 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

In case you have any friends who still think that we’re in post-racial America, let them now that Arizona hasn’t gotten the memo.

When President Obama spoke there yesterday, crowds greeted him and there were more protestors than supporters.

Obama foes at one point sang, “Bye Bye Black Sheep,” a derogatory reference to the president’s skin color, while protesters like Deanne Bartram raised a sign saying, “Impeach the Half-White Muslim!”

But, they couldn’t help themselves.  You know for fact who is at fault, right?

But a prevailing theme among many in the protest appeared to be issues of race. Some even suggested that Obama himself was to blame for racial tensions.

“We have gone back so many years,” Judy Burris told the Republic, arguing Obama had taken the nation back to pre-Civil Rights era levels of racism. “He’s divided all the races. I hate him for that.”

Because, you know, he’s black and he doesn’t cover it up.   He could just stay inside the White House but he insists on walking around the country being black.  That’s divisive.

Holy crap, y’all.   Where do they find these crazy white people?  Oh yeah, Arizona.

Stunning

August 07, 2013 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Please allow me to introduce you to Sam and Patricia Harless.  They are the owners of Fred Fincher Motors.

Patricia Harless is the Republican Texas State Representative of District 126, which is right outside Houston.  She’s one of those foam at the mouth about Voter ID, homeschooling, and Jesus people.  She has had to repeatedly deny that she ever hires undocumented workers.  Hell, she’ll deny it when nobody has even asked about it.

Well, she took to the Twitter and announced that her husband Sam is running for the State Senate.

Now, that would be Senator Dan Patrick’s old job because Dan is running for Lt. Gov.  Sam has vowed to spend $1 million of his own money in the race.

The Happy Couple - Still in Shock

Maybe he should before the lawyers get it.

It seems that Sam’s Used Car dealership might be subject to some legal action.

You know, like torture.

But, I am sure it was the Christian kind.

A man filed a civil lawsuit against his former employer after he said he was tortured  and humiliated in front of co-workers and customers for nine months.

Bradley Jones, 45, worked at Fred Fincher Motors for more than four years.

He said for the last nine months, his fellow employees began sneaking up on him and hitting him with a stun gun.

He said it happened at least two dozen times and each incident left him more on edge.

“I was constantly looking behind my shoulder, distracted, couldn’t sleep,” Jones said. “I would even look behind my shower curtain at home.”

Jones said his boss, Sam Harless, provided the stun gun and also held the camera many times. The videos were posted on YouTube, but have been taken off.

Harless called it “a frivolous lawsuit.”  I dunno, dude.  There’s video tape of it.

And you might spend some of that million dollars getting someone to get that guilty as hell look off your face.

Thanks to Lorraine in Spring for the heads up.

Just So You Know

August 07, 2013 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

I’m gonna be redecorating around here in the next couple of weeks.

I am changing servers and while that should work seamlessly, it never does. I don’t know when it will happen but you will know if you come here and there’s no here.

Plus, I have finally broken up with Bill Gates.  Windows 8 was the last straw.  Don’t tell me that I’ll get used to it.  I won’t.  I might learn to use it correctly but I will still hate it.  With a freekin’ passion.  I cuss at it so much that Truman is wanting to move in with Momma.  The only reason I have put off buying a Mac this long is that they cost a lot of money and I am not a rich woman.   But a Mac is cheaper than a psychiatrist in the long run.

I understand there will be a learning curve.  Best I know I can use WordPress on a Mac, so maybe you won’t even notice that I’ve divorced Bill.  Maybe it’ll take me a while to figure it out and you’re sitting there tapping your fingers on the table while I’m getting used to a new keyboard.

So, with all this happening in the next few weeks, I will let you know on Juanita’s Facebook page what’s going on.

People Often Ask Me, “Who The Fool Tarnation Votes for Louie Gohmert?”

August 07, 2013 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

I have to tell them that people like this do.

East Texas towns like Tenaha have got themselves a little scam going.  With the District Attorney’s blessings, people (mostly brown and black people, of course) are stopped and are subjected to a Texas law that allows the authorities to confiscate any property that they “suspect” might be ill-gotten gain from drug activities.  This includes cars, houses, jewelry, cash, and children.

Seriously, they threaten to take your children away if you don’t turn over your stuff to them.

… the notorious town of Tenaha, TX, a small town on US 59 where a corrupt system allowed cops to pull over people — mostly brown people — and simply take away all their possessions: their cars, their cash, even the gold crosses around their necks. The victims of the scam were threatened with the loss of custody of their children as well as time in jail, and the funds raised by this were used by the local District Attorney for frivolities like popcorn machines, as well as for donations to influential churches that helped elect her to her office.

East Texas is in desperate need of a Robin Hood because it’s been going the wrong way for a long time.

These are the people who elect Louie Gohmert.  They go to church on Sunday and steal from the poor on Monday.  Louie approves.

Thanks to Dennis for the heads up.

Liz, Liz, Go Fish is a Children’s Game

August 07, 2013 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

It appears that the entitled Miss Liz Cheney took a couple of shortcuts in getting her Wyoming fishing license.

In trying to make it look like she really does live in Wyoming and isn’t just there to go back to Washington, DeeCee with her bona fides still fresh with her father’s fingerprints, Miss Cheney may have lied on her permit to fish.

Senate candidate Liz Cheney improperly received a state resident fishing license based on an application with incorrect information, according to Wyoming Game and Fish Department records.

Cheney, who last month announced she will challenge Sen. Mike Enzi in the 2014 Republican primary, received her resident license just 72 days after closing on her Wilson house in May 2012. State law requires residents live in the state 365 consecutive days before they can receive a resident hunting or fishing license, which are cheaper than out-of-state licenses.

Cheney’s application also lists her as a 10-year resident of Wyoming.

If she did lie on the application, that’s a misdemeanor and carries a $220 fine.  You know, what she pays for lunch.

Look, here’s the way I see it.  Princess Leia was also the daughter of an evil Darth villain, but do you believe for one minute that she would lie on her fishing license?  Of course not.  Leia would have said, “Yeah, I’m a carpetbagger.  They blew up Alderaan but we draw the line at Idaho and I can make that happen.”

Thanks to Kyle for the heads up.