Archive for August, 2013

Just So You Know

August 07, 2013 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

I’m gonna be redecorating around here in the next couple of weeks.

I am changing servers and while that should work seamlessly, it never does. I don’t know when it will happen but you will know if you come here and there’s no here.

Plus, I have finally broken up with Bill Gates.  Windows 8 was the last straw.  Don’t tell me that I’ll get used to it.  I won’t.  I might learn to use it correctly but I will still hate it.  With a freekin’ passion.  I cuss at it so much that Truman is wanting to move in with Momma.  The only reason I have put off buying a Mac this long is that they cost a lot of money and I am not a rich woman.   But a Mac is cheaper than a psychiatrist in the long run.

I understand there will be a learning curve.  Best I know I can use WordPress on a Mac, so maybe you won’t even notice that I’ve divorced Bill.  Maybe it’ll take me a while to figure it out and you’re sitting there tapping your fingers on the table while I’m getting used to a new keyboard.

So, with all this happening in the next few weeks, I will let you know on Juanita’s Facebook page what’s going on.

People Often Ask Me, “Who The Fool Tarnation Votes for Louie Gohmert?”

August 07, 2013 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

I have to tell them that people like this do.

East Texas towns like Tenaha have got themselves a little scam going.  With the District Attorney’s blessings, people (mostly brown and black people, of course) are stopped and are subjected to a Texas law that allows the authorities to confiscate any property that they “suspect” might be ill-gotten gain from drug activities.  This includes cars, houses, jewelry, cash, and children.

Seriously, they threaten to take your children away if you don’t turn over your stuff to them.

… the notorious town of Tenaha, TX, a small town on US 59 where a corrupt system allowed cops to pull over people — mostly brown people — and simply take away all their possessions: their cars, their cash, even the gold crosses around their necks. The victims of the scam were threatened with the loss of custody of their children as well as time in jail, and the funds raised by this were used by the local District Attorney for frivolities like popcorn machines, as well as for donations to influential churches that helped elect her to her office.

East Texas is in desperate need of a Robin Hood because it’s been going the wrong way for a long time.

These are the people who elect Louie Gohmert.  They go to church on Sunday and steal from the poor on Monday.  Louie approves.

Thanks to Dennis for the heads up.

Liz, Liz, Go Fish is a Children’s Game

August 07, 2013 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

It appears that the entitled Miss Liz Cheney took a couple of shortcuts in getting her Wyoming fishing license.

In trying to make it look like she really does live in Wyoming and isn’t just there to go back to Washington, DeeCee with her bona fides still fresh with her father’s fingerprints, Miss Cheney may have lied on her permit to fish.

Senate candidate Liz Cheney improperly received a state resident fishing license based on an application with incorrect information, according to Wyoming Game and Fish Department records.

Cheney, who last month announced she will challenge Sen. Mike Enzi in the 2014 Republican primary, received her resident license just 72 days after closing on her Wilson house in May 2012. State law requires residents live in the state 365 consecutive days before they can receive a resident hunting or fishing license, which are cheaper than out-of-state licenses.

Cheney’s application also lists her as a 10-year resident of Wyoming.

If she did lie on the application, that’s a misdemeanor and carries a $220 fine.  You know, what she pays for lunch.

Look, here’s the way I see it.  Princess Leia was also the daughter of an evil Darth villain, but do you believe for one minute that she would lie on her fishing license?  Of course not.  Leia would have said, “Yeah, I’m a carpetbagger.  They blew up Alderaan but we draw the line at Idaho and I can make that happen.”

Thanks to Kyle for the heads up.

Thank You, Florida!

August 06, 2013 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Thank you, Florida, for sapping some of the crazy out of Texas.

Republican Congressidiot Ted Yoho has declared that Obamacare is “racist” because there’s a tax on tanning beds and only fair skinned people use tanning beds.

For the record, please allow me to say that I am so white that I glow in the dark.  I do not use a tanning bed for the same reason I don’t smoke.

Rep. Ted Yoho (R-FL) recently told a group of constituents that he backing a birther bill because he hoped that it would “get rid of everything” that President Barack Obama had done, and then added that the president’s “racist” health care law forced white people to pay more to use tanning beds.

But Ted did his research before saying that.

The Florida Republican continued: “I had an Indian doctor in our office the other day, very dark skin, with two non-dark skin people, and I asked this to him, I said, ‘Have you ever been to a tanning booth?’ and he goes, ‘No, no need.’ So therefore it’s a racist tax and I thought I might need to get to a sun tanning booth so I can come out and say I’ve been disenfranchised because I got taxed because of the color of my skin.”

Love me some GOP research.

But there’s this:  have you ever considered that if there wasn’t a tax on tanning beds maybe that would be President Obama encouraging everybody to become dark skinned like him or the Muslims. You know, he’s trying to turn us all black!

See, this is tricky stuff.  There is no right answer … and that’s the way the GOP loves it.

Thanks to Grace for the heads up.

Mark of the Least

August 06, 2013 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

I think y’all might remember Cathie Adams, the former chairman of the Texas Republican Party who is pretty much convinced that you’re going to hell.

Cathie of the Beast

And that Grover Norquist grew a beard to show people that he’s a Muslim.

And that she resigned after being accused of playing loose and easy with Republican Party money.

And that President Obama has fried his brain on drugs.

In short, Cathie’s tray ain’t in the full upright and locked position.

So now she’s decided that the immigration reform bill in the Senate, which includes biometric scanning, is the Mark of the Beast.

“And, of course, we know in biblical prophecy that that is the End Times,” Adams said of the initiative. “That is going to be the brand either on our foreheads or on the back of our hands. That is demonic through and through. That is End Times prophecy. There is no question about that.”

Of course, Cathie also thought that scanners in the grocery stores, ATM machines, the internet, and disco music were also the mark of the beast.  She has led a life of grave disappointment.

Think how she’s going to feel when Jesus comes again and he’s from Mexico this time.

Bless her heart.  I worry about her.

Thanks to Brian C for the heads up.

(Heavy Sigh)

August 06, 2013 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

I read Doonesbury every day.

I also live in the State of Fodder.