Archive for August, 2013

Here’s the Deal

August 15, 2013 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Okay, the Travis County (Think Austin) District Attorney’s Office is given the responsibility of investigating and prosecuting public corruption all oer Texas.   The last DA, Ronnie Earl, got the indictment against DeLay and the current DA, Rosemary Lehmberg, got the conviction.

Lehmberg got arrested for and plead guilty to DWI last April.  She spent 45 days in the county jail and took her full punishment.

Rick Perry wants her to resign because she’s a Democrat.  If she resigns Perry will get to appoint a Republican District Attorney and start indicting every damn Democrat in Texas.

She refused to resign.  She wanted to.  She really did.  But, she knew the price of her resignation was a Republican District Attorney who would immediately drop all charges against Tom DeLay and indict the etire Democratic Texas Senate.

She stayed put.

So, Rick Perry threatened her.

Yes, ma’am he did.  Threatened her plan and simple.  He told her either you resign or I will veto funding for the public integrity unit.  This stuff got very serious when the Republican Lt Gov obviously falsified time documents following the Wendy Davis filibuster.

In June, Perry made good on his veto.

Then comes

In a two-page complaint filed shortly after Perry’s veto, the head of Texans for Public Justice accused Perry of possibly violating laws regarding coercion of a public servant, bribery, abuse of official capacity and official oppression.

“Governor Perry violated the Texas Penal Code by communicating offers and threats under which he would exercise his official discretion to veto the appropriation,” wrote Craig McDonald, the group’s executive director, in the June 26 complaint.

Travis County recuse themselves so it got tossed to neighboring Williamson County.  The judge there is appointing a special prosecutor to investigate.

With any luck at all, Rick Perry and Don (oops – Tom) DeLay will eventually be sharing a jail cell or a joint appearance on Dancin’ With the Felons.

Thanks to everybody for getting excited about this.

The War on Tomato Plants

August 15, 2013 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Take a deep breath and start counting up how much this cost the taxpayers of Texas.

There’s a little compound outside of Arlington (think Dallas) that grows its own food on a plot of land about the size of half a football field.

On August 2nd the police show up and say they have information that marijuana is being grown there.  Their source was “a tip” and “aerial surveillance.”  No kidding, they had pictures.

What the police thought was marijuana turned out to be tomato plants.    However, they still felt compelled to uproot most of the crop – including okra and blueberries.  Just to make things look better, the people on the compound were ticketed for being out of compliance with the city code.

Look, we’ve got Dr. Sanjay Gupta going on teevee saying marijuana ain’t all that bad for you and maybe this war on drug thing wasn’t all that smart.

Yes, that certainly look worthy of police intervention.  I see collard greens!

Thanks to Bernard for the heads up.

Yeah, Because He Doesn’t Really Exist. We Just Made Him Up.

August 15, 2013 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Bryan Fischer of the American Family Association believes the picture of Obama in the situation room was Photoshopped.  Obviously by amateurs.

On his electric radio show he said —

“Look at the size of his head compared to the size of the head of everybody else in the room. Even people standing in the back of the room, their heads are bigger than his head,” Fischer said on his show Focal Point. “And it looks teeny-tiny next to the people that he’s sitting next to. He looks kind of hunched over and small.”

He continued: “Frankly I think that got photoshopped in after deal. I think Obama’s approach was, ‘Hey, if this thing goes south, I don’t want to be in the room. I don’t want to be anywhere near this thing if it blows up. If it succeeds, if it’s an outstanding success, then photoshop me in there.'”

Honey, if the government was this good at conspiracies, we would have claimed that President Obama led the Seal Team into the bunker and shot Osama himself.

Fischer has said that President Barack Obama “despises the constitution, and nurtures a hatred for the white man”, and that he aims to “destroy capitalism”. Fischer believes that sexual orientation is “always, always, always a matter of choice.” He also does not believe in evolution.

He’s a busy fella.

Thanks to everybody for the heads up.

Just a Note

August 15, 2013 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Y’all, you know your state is screwed when it’s getting harder and harder to recognize satire.

Latest example.

Hey, it could be true.

Thanks to Sharon for the heads up.

Sometimes the Irony Makes You Quiver

August 15, 2013 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

I know you’re not supposed to stop your enemy when he’s committing suicide, but this is too amazing to ignore.

Republicans are pushing hard for cuts in food stamps, which apparently will result in fewer Republicans as they die of hunger.

Among the 254 counties where food stamp recipients doubled between 2007 and 2011, Republican Mitt Romney won 213 of them in last year’s presidential election, according to U.S. Department of Agriculture data compiled by Bloomberg. Kentucky’s Owsley County, which backed Romney with 81 percent of its vote, has the largest proportion of food stamp recipients among those that he carried.

And the winner of the snake oil salesman award for Republican bait and switching goes to Hal Rogers, the Republican chairman of the House Appropriations Committee.  Rogers represents Owsley County and just won his 16th term with 84 percent of the vote.

More than half of the Owsley County’s population — 52 percent — received food stamps in 2011, the most recent yearly number available. The county, which in 2012 was 97.6 percent non-Hispanic white and had 4,722 residents, had a median household income of $19,344, well below the Kentucky median of $42,248 and the $52,762 figure nationally, U.S. census data shows. Roughly four in 10 residents live below the poverty line.

So, the chairman of the House Appropriations Committee represents a district that is so poor that they have to stay alive because they can’t afford to be buried.  However, he’s trying his damn level best to kill them.  And they vote for him to help him do it.

It’s the damnest thing ever.

Thanks to Carl for the heads up.

Oh, So That’s How They Get Rich

August 15, 2013 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

David Dewhurst, Lt. Governor of Texas who gained famed for cheating on the timesheets during the Wendy Davis filibuster and lost the GOP senatorial primary to Ted Cruz, is getting even more bad press.

His failed campaign for senator still owe $1 million in debt to vendors, lawyers, and consultants.

Dewhurst is blaming it on his campaign manager —

In a written statement, Dewhurst spokesman Travis Considine pointed to the alleged embezzlement by former campaign manager Kenneth “Buddy” Barfield. Lawyers for Dewhurst’s state and federal campaign committees have accused Barfield of stealing as much as $2 million from both his state and federal campaign coffers.

Having learned and served in Texas government, Dewhurst thought this level of inefficiency, failure, and finger pointing made him highly qualified for national office as a Republican.

He’s probably right you know.

Thanks to Kyle for the heads up.