Okay, y’all are gonna think I’m kidding about this but I ain’t.

Texas Governor Rick Perry is going to sign SB2 tomorrow at “an undisclosed location.” I seriously doubt it’s on the feminine hygiene aisle at your local drug store.

But, since he’s made government fit inside a uterus, you better check yours tomorrow morning. Rick Perry could be in there with a fountain pen, a flashlight, and kickbacks for his sister.

No, I am not kidding.

I am pleased to announce that Texas Governor Rick Perry has won an award. Even I have to admit it’s a well deserved one.

The Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington have named him one of the worst Governors in America … And most anyplace else.

You can read the report right here.

It ain’t pretty. When not stealing from cancer research, he’s found a few other things to keep himself busy.

His inclusion stems from: (1) promotion of a political culture rife with cronyism and pay-to-play appointments; (2) the pervasiveness and influence of revolving-door lobbyists in his administration; (3) accepting free trips on the private planes of donors and special interests; (4) abusing his position to benefit his family; (5) simultaneous collection of a state government salary and state retirement pension; (6) financial disclosure reporting violations; (7) repeated flouting of transparency standards and blocking of public disclosure; (8) misuse of state resources for his presidential campaign; (9) advocacy for voter identification restrictions; and (10) killing a measure that would have required politically active nonprofits to disclose their donors. He was included in CREW’s 2010 report on governors.

Actually, stealing from cancer research money is one the lesser things he’s done.

Yeah, but he’s got great hair and boxes and boxes of confiscated tampons. That’s my Governor, Darlin’.

Thanks to Alfredo over at the Dairy Queen for the heads up.

This particular Texas woman lives not far from me and is not new to political and educational battles in my county, and she carries the whiplash of the Super DeLux Brand Christians to prove it.

The StitchWitch does her thing.

Yep, it’s a Rick Perry voodoo doll.

Here they are! Governor Goodhair in a suit and in his favorite casual t-shirt. They each come with a blank sign for you to personalize and three handmade tampon pins for sticking it to him.

They are $50 for the pair – one in a suit and the other in a tee-shirt, or $25 each. They both hold a protest sign for your own personalization. Profits go to Planned Parenthood.

Her Facebook is here.

I’m told their clothing is removable but I didn’t really want to know that.

Thanks to Marion for the heads up.

The Princess of Darkness and Defender of Daddy, Liz Cheney has announced her intentions to rip apart the Republican Party in Wyoming. Just for fun.

Liz Cheney will run against Sen. Mike Enzi (R-Wyo.), she announced Tuesday afternoon, setting up a high-profile primary battle.

“I am running for the United States Senate because I believe deeply in the values that have made our state and our nation great. I’m running because I believe it is necessary for a new generation of leaders to step up to the plate. I’m running because I know as a mother and a patriot we can no longer afford simply to go along to get along. We can’t continue business as usual in Washington. I’m running because I know we’re taxed more than enough already.”

Hey, Princess, your Dad invented business as usual in Washington. And fought two wars he refused to pay for.

What is wrong with you? You wanna shoot a friend in the face?

Oh, the self-righteous do mightily fall. Well, that’s not true. Usually they just stumble on their own feet and land face first onto a table of pies. That’s delightful and truly the only reason God makes them. The angels do a happy dance every time Michele Bachmann’s ladder drops a rung.

It seems her staff may have taken Republican greed to its logical conclusion.

Javier Sanchez was a high-level legislative director for Michele Bachmann.

On July 11, Mr. Sanchez was arrested on charges that he burglarized several offices belonging to other House members. From news reports, it appears that some thefts took place back in 2012 and others in 2013

One of the victims reports $200 missing and others were political enemies of Bachmann’s.

And this pie to the face has a cherry on top. Republicans first blamed the cleaning staff who “could be” undocumented workers.

Oh thank you, sweet angels of bluster.

Thanks to Dave for the heads up.

Texas Senator John Cornyn is becoming a born again Tea Party Bag Holder. They’ve taken him down to the Boston Harbor and baptized him in the name of Michelle, Louie, and Ted.

He even hired Freedom Works’ Brendan Steinhauser as his new campaign manager and cornered the market on neon to announce it. The signs said, “Lookie, I’m a new Ted Cruz.”

Not so fast, John. Freedom Works says that one hire does not a nutcase make.

On Tuesday, FreedomWorks sought to distinguish Steinhauser’s job there as separate from the group’s super PAC, FreedomWorks for America. While Steinhauser did field work for the super PAC in support of Cruz (R-Texas), he did not lead the effort, the group says — super PAC officials Russ Walker and Ryan Hecker did.

So, maybe that’s not the kind of fringe they had in mind.

Thanks to David for the heads up.