Archive for July, 2013

And I Can Hardly Wait

July 04, 2013 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Rick Perry has announced that he will have “an announcement about his political future on Monday.”

Rick Perry has a political future?

Damn.  I figured that guy had about the same political future as Newt Gingrich.  Hang it up, cowboy, and take your lasso home.

And then I got to thinking.  Maybe Rick has other announcements in mind.

Like maybe ….

10.  I’m running for Governor of Egypt.

9.   We are moving Lubbock to Austin and vice versa. Everybody’s happy.  Okay, I’m happy and that’s enough.

8.   You know those rumors about me being gay?  Not true.  I just like show tunes.  Nakkid.  With other men.

7.   I have enrolled in Miss Mavis’ Memory School.  We’re up to three.

6.  Yeah, David Dewhurst gets on my nerves, too.

5.  I am officially changing my title from Governor to Cowboy Coyote King.

4.  You know that whole barefoot and pregnant thing?  Well, we’ve decided to change that.  You can wear shoes.

3.  Guns!  Guns!  Guns!  No announcement.  I just like saying it.

2.  Do the people of Egypt admire a good head of hair?  Because I can do that.  I’ve already got an Indiana Jones outfit.  And I can walk like an Egyptian.

1.  Secede /  Succeed — I keep getting those two mixed up.  That’s why I’ve done neither.

Damned If You Do, Shamed if You Don’t

July 04, 2013 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

There’s a new anonymous blog up designed specifically to make fun of Wendy Davis’ physical appearance.

Apparently, and we should all have this problem, she looks too good.

So this anonymous person is accusing her of having plastic surgery and a fake boob job.  And that is very coincidental because I consider the writer of the anonymous blog to be a real boob job.

They call Wendy “a human Barbie doll.”

Oh for pete’s sake, really.  When the ever-lovin’ hell are we gonna quit making the way a woman looks have more importance than what she thinks.

This obviously jealous person, who is too ashamed of what they’re doing to even use their name, better find something a tad more substantial than whining that Wendy Davis looks like Barbie.  Let me remind the anonymous person that the Texas Governor’s Mansion strongly resembles Barbie’s Dream House.

.

Yes, indeed, it does.

Thanks to Maggie for the heads up.

Happy Birthday, America

July 04, 2013 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

I’m going to the ballpark, eating hot dogs and watching the Astros get clobbered.

Have a great day.

Homeward Bound

July 03, 2013 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

After sleeping the whole morning, ole Bubba and I are headed back home today.

There’s something I want to say. I know that State Rep and bill sponsor Jodie Lauberberg repeatedly says, in fact it’s all she says, that this bill is about women’s health and safety. I imagine there’s a third thing involved here but they had to shorten it to two things to avoid another embarrassing oops moment.

However, if that is true, how come every damn anti-choice speaker spoke only on abortion? The speakers were supposed to speak on topic. The Republicans in the Texas House keep saying this is not about abortion; it’s about health and safety. Their speeches weren’t on that topic. Not a word from the chairman to stop them. Not a damn word.

I know I’m supposed to feel that the anti-choice people are good people with good intentions. Well, screw me. I do not feel that way. I also know that they are sick people who wish to impose their religious beliefs on others and I should feel compassion for someone so insecure and mentally tilted. I do not. Those people just sucked all the nice out of me.

They are mean and hateful. They would rule my life if they could. They are the Talibaptist.

Ole Bubba and I will get home this evening – we are going to toot around Austin to see friends for a while – and I will be back to holler about other subjects by tonight.

I Know There Are Other Things Happening in the World Outside of Austin, But For the Life of Me, I Don’t Know Why

July 02, 2013 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

I will be at the state Capitol today to sign up to testify before the one hearing the people may be allowed before we get Republican Party primary battles shoved down our throats.

There will be fewer people there today so hopefully bandwidth will be better and they won’t turn off the public wifi.

Thanks to all of you for your encouragement and for the people who found me yesterday, introduced themselves, and asked for a haircut.

If there’s other political news in the world other than us and Ohio, please let me know.

I’ll be back after lunch.

NEW UPDATE: There are between 500 to 1,000 anti-choice people here in the Capitol wearing blue. They are carrying signs and singing church songs.

For reasons that will soon become clear, the chairman of the committee reserved a room for the hearing that only holds 100 people. That information was apparently given to the blue people before the public got it. They have filled the room.

On top of that, the Governor has reserved every damn meeting room in the Capitol for the entire month. So, we have no where to go.

We are told we will get a room eventually.

I got here three hours early and this is the best seat I could find.

meanwhile …. We wait.

other news: Rick Perry has announced that he’s gonna announce his future plans on Monday. I hope it involves a library and a bunch of drugs.

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The chairman just announced that 1,600 people have signed up to speak.

The chairman (a Republican) cannot answer why the hearing is being held in such a small room. The only answer he has is that “it was recommended.”

Jodie Laubenberg is the Republican who is sponsoring this bill. She’s the one who thought a rape kit “cleaned out the woman” and took care of that.

Sylvester Turner (good guy) asks the Laubenberg that if this bill truly is for the health and safety of women, can the state finance the changes for the centers that have to close because they cannot afford the cost to meet her standards. Asks her to join with him in an amendment that the state will fund the clinics that cannot afford to meet the standards. She refuses to answer. She calls it hypothetical.

Although Laubenberg continues to say that this is for the health and safety of women but everyone here in a blue shirt is anti -choice.

After Sylvester Turner made a fool of Laubenberg, the Republicans want to change the rules and not let members of the committee question Laubenberg. They say 1,900 people have signed up to speak.

Democrat Jessica Farrar questions Laubenberg about her research for this bill. All Laubenberg will says, “I only filed this bill for the health and safety of women.” She continues to have that as her only answer.

On a very personal note, I want to say that I flat love Jessica Farrar. She rocks.

If you want to watch live, here ya go. http://www.texastribune.org/

It’s 4:45 and the first speaker has started.

Not one speaker for the bill has said, “health and safety.” Every speaker for the bill only talks about abortion. This is not about the health and safety of women.

Okay, tacky observation. I just went in the hall to take a phone call. There are a slew of anti choice people out there. My personal favorite was a man wearing a pre-printed sign that said, “I regret my abortion.” I wonder if he also regrets his sex change operation.

Anyway, these people brought their children to use them for political purposes. I was standing in a small alcove talking to a friend on the phone. A man in blue was watching his four children run wild in the hall. One of the kids, a boy about 5 years old, smashed into me while chasing his brother. I raised boys. I know how they are. However, the second time the kids ran into me and knocked me against the wall while their father watched, I got very tacky. I looked him in the eye and said, “if you’re going to have them, teach them to behave.” I bet you money they were home schooled.

I know. Tacky.

Man testifies by starting with a prayer. He’s upset because his sister had an abortion so he didn’t get to be an uncle. Seriously. An uncle. Makes you wonder who got his sister pregnant, huh?

General counsel for the Texas Hospital Association is speaking against the bill. She says that requiring the doctors to have admitting privileges at the local hospital would be hard to carry out because hospitals only do abortions with several abnormalities or health of the mother. She says that if no doctor could get admitting privileges under current law, then this bill simply outlaws abortion.

Gynecologist speaking against the bill. Endangers women’s health. Great line from the doctor. When asked about fetal pain at 20 weeks, the doctor said, “how about fetal pain at 40 weeks.” Asks, “are we going to keep babies from coming through the birth canal? I’m sure I experienced pain when I came out of my mother’s birth canal but I don’t remember it.”

IRONY ALERT: I just went to the bathroom and had to walk by two men over the age of 65 arguing about abortion. I went to get some young women to see it.

TACKY ALERT: Okay, I hope God forgives me if I am wrong but all these sobbing sisters talking about how they regret their abortions and carrying on about feeling that they are murderers even 20 years later really worries me. I think that the anti-choice people do not want these women to heal. They encourage them to sob in public to make their point for them. They are encouraged to call themselves murderers and that they have to suffer. I saw it today from the people sitting in front of me. I wanted to swat them.

You would not believe some of the improbable stories some women are telling. One woman walked into an abortion clinic wanting information and they forced her to have a abortion which, of course, made her an alcoholic and drug addict.

Guys, we been here from 11:30 until 8:30.  I’m running out of oxygen and power on my phone.  We are leaving for the night.  We will be back next Tuesday.

Tuesday Toon

July 02, 2013 By: Juanita Jean Herownself Category: Uncategorized

Thank you Kyle and Nick Anderson

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