North Carolina saw how all the women in Texas wanted the government to make choices about their bodies so …

North Carolina House Republicans are pushing legislation that would restrict abortion access, attaching the measure to an unrelated motorcycle safety bill on Wednesday and giving neither the public nor Democratic legislators any advance notice.

On Wednesday morning, state Rep. Joe Sam Queen (D) wrote on Twitter, “New abortion bill being heard in the committee I am on. The public didn’t know. I didn’t even know.”

Okay, so does this mean you can only have abortions on motorcycles or that you can’t have abortions on motorcycles?  I know I’m confused.

Do Vespas count?  I hope not because I want a pink one.

I guess once the Pope approves the jacket, all bets are off.

Thanks to Miemaw for the heads up.

Thanks to customer John A. Kwitkoski for designing the graphic.

My friend Noah got this on his Facebook ad list.

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Here ya go.  If you want quality entertainment, listen to the testimonials.

Using Scalar Waves and Solfeggio Energies to protect Targeted Individuals from Electronic Harassment & Psychotronic Attacks

Best I can figure, Solfeggio Energies has something to do with your chakras and Scalar Waves are something “that work outside the realm of physics.  You know, like voodoo.

So these suckers cost anywhere from $295 to $695 for the total protection package.  They also offer a special tamper resistant seal to keep the bad guys from tampering with it at the post office.

You think I’m kidding, don’t you?

Less attractive?  Really?

Thelma is now in the backroom putting tape around her curling iron to sell as an attractive replacement for a tin foil hat.

Thanks to Noah for the heads up.

I want y’all to meet Jodie Laubenberg, the author of the anti-choice bill in the Texas House.  We have Wendy Davis, they have Jodie.  Oh, thank you Sweet Jesus.

Jodie is in no danger of being threatened by literacy.  I commented on Facebook yesterday while she was testifying that she’s dumber than bean dip.  Bean dip fans gave me ever-livin’ hell about it.   Her phone number is 1-800-NO-BRAIN.  Seriously, if she looses one more IQ point, we’ll have to water her twice a week (a great line I stole from Jim Hightower).  She was the woman who argued that rape kits “clean women out” at the hospital so they can’t get pregnant from rape.

Darlin’, she would have to study up to be a half-wit.  It is almost painful to watch her try to answer questions.

During this session, Laubenberg argued that a fetus is a human being.  However in 2007, she argued that a fetus has no right to help under the CHIP program or prenatal care because “it’s not born yet.”

Oh yeah, there’s a tape of it.  Democratic Rep. Rafael Anchia points out her inconsistency and she can’t answer so she withdraws her bill.  Like an idiot.  No wonder Republican women believe that other women are unqualified to make decisions.

Thanks to everybody for the heads up.

You know, about twenty years ago, I wrote an editorial bemoaning the fact that politicians were campaigning as average Joes.  They’d say, “I’m not a politician.  I’m an average guy, just like you.”

Well, that might have been a good thing unless you considered that the “you” might be Tubby Brussard over at the bowling ally.  Tubby ain’t real bright but he does have the largest collection of velvet Elvis paintings over at Miss Millie’s Trailer Park and Bait Shop.

Well, my worst nightmare came true and we started electing people who proudly display their D in Animal Husbandry (which can’t be all that hard to learn since animals seem to have a unique understanding of hoochy-koochy just built in) and the fact that they went two five schools to get a degree and can’t name even one damn magazine she reads.  Hell, even Tubby can come up with Jugs Magazine.

And that’s how we ended up with Rick Perry and Sarah Palin.

I really hate to cause you waves of nausea this early in the morning, but Rick Perry is running for President and Sarah Palin is running for Senator.   And do you want to know why she wants to run?

“Ted Cruz needs reinforcements,” she said of the Texas freshman. “My political action committee [and] the people who I am close to and trust, we work together beating the bushes to find people who will run.”

And by beating the bushes, I don’t think she means Jeb’s son who is running for office in Texas, but I could be wrong.

Thanks to Brian for  the heads up.

Me and ole Bubba on the stage.

And a great crowd —