I want y’all to meet Jodie Laubenberg, the author of the anti-choice bill in the Texas House.  We have Wendy Davis, they have Jodie.  Oh, thank you Sweet Jesus.

Jodie is in no danger of being threatened by literacy.  I commented on Facebook yesterday while she was testifying that she’s dumber than bean dip.  Bean dip fans gave me ever-livin’ hell about it.   Her phone number is 1-800-NO-BRAIN.  Seriously, if she looses one more IQ point, we’ll have to water her twice a week (a great line I stole from Jim Hightower).  She was the woman who argued that rape kits “clean women out” at the hospital so they can’t get pregnant from rape.

Darlin’, she would have to study up to be a half-wit.  It is almost painful to watch her try to answer questions.

During this session, Laubenberg argued that a fetus is a human being.  However in 2007, she argued that a fetus has no right to help under the CHIP program or prenatal care because “it’s not born yet.”

Oh yeah, there’s a tape of it.  Democratic Rep. Rafael Anchia points out her inconsistency and she can’t answer so she withdraws her bill.  Like an idiot.  No wonder Republican women believe that other women are unqualified to make decisions.

Thanks to everybody for the heads up.

You know, about twenty years ago, I wrote an editorial bemoaning the fact that politicians were campaigning as average Joes.  They’d say, “I’m not a politician.  I’m an average guy, just like you.”

Well, that might have been a good thing unless you considered that the “you” might be Tubby Brussard over at the bowling ally.  Tubby ain’t real bright but he does have the largest collection of velvet Elvis paintings over at Miss Millie’s Trailer Park and Bait Shop.

Well, my worst nightmare came true and we started electing people who proudly display their D in Animal Husbandry (which can’t be all that hard to learn since animals seem to have a unique understanding of hoochy-koochy just built in) and the fact that they went two five schools to get a degree and can’t name even one damn magazine she reads.  Hell, even Tubby can come up with Jugs Magazine.

And that’s how we ended up with Rick Perry and Sarah Palin.

I really hate to cause you waves of nausea this early in the morning, but Rick Perry is running for President and Sarah Palin is running for Senator.   And do you want to know why she wants to run?

“Ted Cruz needs reinforcements,” she said of the Texas freshman. “My political action committee [and] the people who I am close to and trust, we work together beating the bushes to find people who will run.”

And by beating the bushes, I don’t think she means Jeb’s son who is running for office in Texas, but I could be wrong.

Thanks to Brian for  the heads up.

Me and ole Bubba on the stage.

And a great crowd —

You will be delighted to know that since women in Texas can’t possible make a decision about their bodies on their own that help from a foreign state is coming.

Former Republican presidential candidate Rick Santorum says he will travel to the state capitol in Austin this week to explain why Texas women should lose the right to have an abortion after 20 weeks of pregnancy.

A press release obtained by CNN said that Santorum would hold a press conference at the capitol on Thursday morning in support of a 20-week abortion ban that was temporarily derailed by state Sen. Wendy Davis (D) and other Texas Democrats last month.

So, Santorum is coming to Texas to deny us our constitutional rights.  Ain’t that sweet?

Please, don’t let him come dressed like an Easter Bunny.

Thanks to Irene for the heads up.

Okay, so ya think she’s gonna be really mad when she wakes up and realizes what happened?

SAN ANTONIO –A woman was hospitalized with a gun shot wound to the chest after police say she tried to intervene in a fight between her boyfriend and his ex-girlfriend.  The shooting occurred a little before 2 a.m. at a home in the 1600 block of Amanda on the East Side.

According to police, the ex-girlfriend of a man showed up at his house and he grabbed a shotgun.  His current girlfriend tried to stop him and the shotgun went off, hitting the woman in the chest.  Police say the woman was taken to San Antonio Military Medical Center in stable condition.

Police are still investigating and have not said if the boyfriend would face charges in connection with the shooting.

Yeah, ‘cuz if you shoot the wrong girlfriend that ain’t against the law in Texas.  That falls under the category of getting in the line of my gunfire, or the Dick Cheney Ordinance.

Thanks to Rick for the heads up.

So, whoever thinks that Rick Perry isn’t setting up a second residency in Iowa is either drunk or lost.

Thanks again to customer John Kwitkoski  –
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